Friday, December 31, 2010
Jack: Mom, how will I recognize you when you're old?
me: Do you mean because old people look different?
Jack: Yeah, how will I know it's you?
me: Because you'll see me every day and you'll see how I change and look different little by little. Just like when you were a little baby, and now you're a big boy. I recognize you because I saw you get older every day.
Jack: But what if I take a trip and come back and you're old?
me: I'll send you a picture every day so you'll see how I look. Okay?
Jack: But what if you die while I'm on my trip.
me: Don't worry about that now Jack...
Jack: Can I visit you when you die?
me: (!) Uhh...I'm not sure what you mean?
Jack: I mean, can I visit you, after you die!?
me: I don't think we should worry about that right now sweetie. It's bedtime...
Jack: This is exactly the time that I am worrying about it.
me: Well, I try to take good care of myself so that I will live a long, long time.
Jack: But you have to die sometime right?
me: We all do sweetie. But Daddy and I will be around a very long time for you.
Jack: Okay. I hope you live to be 200 because 100 just isn't long enough. Sighhhh...
me: I'll do my best. Goodnight...
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Anyway, There is one more post for me this year and then we begin the fast slide into the NEW and SHINY blog "Sh*t my 6-year-old says". (Don't worry, I'll make some sort of cool header with a cool picture of Jack holding up 6 fingers or something original and clever like that.) I think it definitely has to be a tie-dyed theme because that is SO Jack. (OMG could it really have taken me 3 tries to type tie-dyed? "tye died", "tie died", "tie dyed" then finally, oh that makes four..."tie-dyed".) Sh*t.
Jack: Mom can we play dirty shopkeeper?? Please!???
me: Okay, just for a few minutes because it's bed time...
Have I mentioned this before? We started this game when Jack was maybe 2 or 3. He sets up his register. We come and shop, buy a few things, exchange some money, then he takes the money and our bag of stuff and runs. The first time he did this I think he was really confused or had watched Cops recently or something. So we just went along with it. One of us would shout "Hey get back here you dirty shopkeeper, that's my stuff!!" Jack would crack up and run around. Now whenver we play store, or anything involving money, we expect him to make a break for it. I hope that doesn't come back to bite us in a few years.
me: Okay sir, I have this box of tic-tacs that I'd like you to hold for me while I do some more shopping... (Jack grabs it and runs) HEY! What are you doing?? Cops!! I have a dirty shopkeeper over here!
Jack does a Scooby Doo run on the kitchen floor, not actually moving but arms and legs running at full speed. I almost pee myself because it looks so funny. Then he gets traction and just makes it around the Christmas tree and...
...almost smacks into Dennis who's coming around the corner with a basketful of laundry.
Dennis: Hey! Watch it!
Jack: Hey! Move over!
me: Hey! Get back here!
Typical night at our house really. Tell me your house is calmer. I dare you!
GAH! I don't like to fall behind, so of course I just remembered I can
email my post from work, since for some reason I can't log into
Blogger. Thanks Blogger!
Jack heard the news that I'll be starting Tae Kwon Do next Monday. He
was very excited! I'll see how it goes...my uniform looks like the
size of a bed sheet because they had to find pants long enough for my
freak legs. GRR!
Jack: Sooo, when you start, you're a non-belt right?
me: Yeah, I start out the same as you did. No belt. I have to earn them.
Jack: And you have to go in the same order, right?
me: You mean colors? Yeah, I have to do white, then yellow, then orange...
Jack: How many times a week are you gonna go?
me: I can go 3 times a week like you, if I want, and we can go on
Saturdays to practice. Why?
Jack: So that means I'll always be two belts ahead of you!!! Yay!!
me: (realizing this was all about his status and had nothing to do
with his interest in my classes) Well thanks, is that all you're
Jack: No. I can be your instructor. Stand up and give me your ten
motions! Don't forget to say yes sir after everything Mom.
me: Sigh. Little dictator...
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
me: Jack look...if the neighbors look outside, all they will see is a hill of snow. they don't know there's a fort in here. It's secret.
Jack: Awesome! Let's go over there and look! (we trudge through snow that was literally up to my upper thigh. Jack was light enough to stay on top of it.) Oh, you can't even see it. That's the best snow fort ever Mom!
We came in for snacks and to dump piles of snow out of our pants. We were actually pretty toasty while we played, so we didn't need to warm up too much. Milk and banana bread hit the spot.
Jack: Mom, you make the most awesome banana bread in the whole world.
me: Thanks! Glad you like it.
Jack: What can we do next?
me: How about watching your Koala Brothers video?
Jack: The whole thing???
Jack: (throws his arms around me) Oh thanks thanks!
Yeah, I earned a lot of little-boy credit today. But I had fun too! Seeing that huge smile on Jack's face makes it all worth it.
Monday, December 27, 2010
Jack: Now we have to read Prince Caspian!!
me: That's the 3rd book. Don't you want to read the 1st book so we can see how the wardrobe was invented?
Jack: What's it called?
me: The Magician's Nephew, I think.
Jack: Ohhhh, it's about magic! How do you think they made the wardrobe??
me: I don't know, I never read that book.
Jack: Well just guess!
me: Maybe the nephew did some magic that he learned from his uncle and the wardrobe became magic?
Jack: Yeahhhh, that's probably it. We have to get that book Mom! We only have the 3rd one! Can we see the movie?
me: I'll have to check it out.
Jack: Yeah, it may not be appropriate for all ages.
me: Ha ha. You're funny Jack.
Then Jack read to me for a change. "Peace Week in Miss Fox's Class". He's a very good reader. Best delivery ever.
So I just went to go find a link to the Chronicles of Narnia book order and came upon such confusion! It seems that the books were written in one order, not chronologically because C.S. Lewis wrote a prequel (The Magician's Nephew), but were published in a slightly different order and then again Harper's put the books in chronological order and numbered them as such because they wanted a tidy boxed set. I think the author would have wanted them read in the order that they were published. Simply because they are written in that order and make references to people and places in that order. Like if you started with the first chronological book, which was actually I think the 5th written book, you would be lost because it references things from the first 4 books. Anyway, blah blah, I hope the 2nd book is a bit more interesting. :)
Sunday, December 26, 2010
me: I think Daddy's office will be closed tomorrow.
Jack: If Daddy's home more than two days in a row, that's just more of a chance that he'll yell at me for something.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
This is what I see around me. What do you see around you right now? It can't possibly be neat and orderly, can it?
me: Jack, let's move some of your stuff back under the tree to get it out of the way. I keep stepping on stuff.
Jack: No, all my stuff has to go over here together. (right in the middle of the hall)
me: How does that help anything?
Jack: It's where I opened it all. They can all be together!
me: Your presents are friends with each other?
Jack: Oh, I forgot this one. Here you go, back with your friends...
me: Okay, I guess that answers my question.
May all of your Christmases be lacking in reason, be abundant in discarded wrapping materials, and be steeped in bronchial spasms, much like mine is! :)
Friday, December 24, 2010
I told them "I hope you don't out-do Santa, because that would just be wrong...". But there is the distinct chance that Jack will be all presented out by tomorrow morning. Grandma A got Jack the art kit that I would not get him, because I thought he was too young.
Jack: (to Grandma A) Oh Man! You are JUST in time with this present. This is awesome! I'm going to draw stuff now... (waves us off with his hand)
Grandma B needed a U-Haul to get the presents over here. :) There were lots. Jack opened a lot tonight, and there will be more tomorrow! But, Jack is Grandma B's only grandson, so you kinda have to remember that. Jack really tried to keep his manners in check as he opened presents.
Jack: Oh this one is for outside... (Pirate kite). Ohhh, this is a coloring book (toss).
me: Jack, pick that up and let's look at it. Don't toss anything that Grandma hands to you.
Jack: Okay. Hey this IS pretty cool. (gentle toss as he looks for another present)
Have we created a monster? Perhaps. Santa will surely bring Jack 5 or 6 things from his thesis of a Santa letter. I'm only guessing of course. Dennis and I have about 4 or 5 things to give, plus stocking stuffers.
Jack: (as I tucked him into bed) Can't wait to get up and see presents!
me: I don't think Santa is putting presents under your tree up here Jack.
Jack: But he did last year!
me: ...he did? ...oh, yeah, I think I remember. (sigh)
Jack: I'm just gonna get up and open them all!
me: You'll wake us up first please.
Jack: (reluctantly) okayyyyy, but only because you have to open your stuff.
me: Yeah otherwise you'd let us sleep while you tear the place up, right?
Jack: Haha. No...you have to take pictures of course!
me: Of course. Get lots of rest okay? Merry Christmas... Do you want to leave your tree lights on?
Jack: Nah...too bright and distracting. Good night!
So another Christmas Eve comes to an end soon. Dennis and I exchanged a gift just a short while ago. True to form, the gift I gave him was one I gave about 2 years ago. LOL. I had totally forgotten. It was an awesome gift though. Must regift to someone. The gift that Dennis gave me was really for him, as it had to do with Netflix. So, there you have it.
We ate the few cookies we had put out for Santa, drank the milk, made the evidence look convincing, and off we go to get Jack's stuff from the basement and place it under the tree.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Jack tested for his yellow belt today. He passed with flying colors.
Self Defense = A. Kicking = A. Form = A. Yay!
One confession must be made. I screwed up the time. Bad. Really Bad. The paper said "Testing for white belt at 4:30", "Testing for yellow belt at 6pm". I understood it to mean "If you're testing FOR a yellow belt, which Jack was, you go at 6pm". They meant "If you already ARE a yellow belt you go at 6pm". Jack should have been there at 4:30. Sigh. We pulled in at 5:30 to hahahahaha get there early, but we were an hour late. Jack's entire class was in the final phase of breaking boards. I started to panic a little.
I spoke to the Master, and he said Jack could test with the older kids. Jack was fine with it. He actually tested all by himself as the only white belt. AND, since it was at 6pm Dennis was able to make it. 4:30 wouldn't have happened. So I guess it was all for the best. Jack was the MAN.
me: Jack, I'm so sorry that I messed up and you didn't test with your class.
Jack: It's okay. I didn't want to test with them anyway. Some of the young kids are SO sloppy. Sheesh.
Yeah, okay Chuck Norris. :)
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
me: I'm sorry Jack, if you don't behave at school this ENTIRE week, you won't get this red tape (that parents give to their child for good behavior at home) and you won't test for your yellow belt. I'll also tell your master what you've been doing.
Jack: No No NOOOOOO, I'll be good, I promise! Think of anything you want me to do and I'll do it. Just think! I need a second chance!!!
me: Bring back spectacular reports from school, have excellent behavior on the bus, and don't even think of stepping out of line once for me and Daddy. That's what you need to do. Listen the FIRST time, and NO talking back at all. Clear?
This was our talk over the weekend. Jack had another massive growth spurt and was eating 3 breakfasts again and then full meals at snack time. Amazing. But his behavior is like totally wicked during these times. Exhausting. But, a light has appeared at the end of the tunnel. Jack received some amazing reports these past 3 days, and I was able to give him his red tape. He'll take the yellow belt test tomorrow.
Jack: Today at school, someone said they would punch me in the nose and then they got in trouble.
me: What did you do?
Jack: I told the teacher.
me: Good. I'm glad you didn't do or say anything back. That way you'll stay out of trouble.
Jack: And then yesterday someone kicked me right in the butt, very hard!
me: Oh no! And what happened? You didn't tell me that.
Jack: Yeah I forgot. But they went directly to the principal's office. Ha!
me: So you see how it works now? If you hit back, you always seem to be the one to get in trouble.
Jack: Well, that doesn't always work. Because todayyyyy, you know who said he was going to hit me. I told the teacher and we BOTH got in trouble.
me: Now how is that possible if you didn't do anything?
Jack: Oh, I got in trouble because I was running down the hall. It wasn't for that other thing.
I have many long years ahead of me. I better get used to it.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
But first, do you like how I changed my profile pic? Well I didn't mean to. I was really setting up for the big launch of Sh*t My 6-Year-Old Says and inadvertently changed the picture without realizing it's my actual profile for ALL blogs, and not just for the 6-year blog. Sigh. Well, whatever. I'll be changing the photo again when Jack turns 6 to give us a shiny new look for next year.
So, tonight Jack and I decided to (finally) go mail his letter to Santa. We've been procrastinating. It's cold out. We're busy. Yadda Yadda. Jack came home from school, had a snack of oatmeal, his favorite, and off we went.
Sidebar: Remember that I've saved all of Jack's letters to Santa since he was 2. I simply photocopy the real letter, put the copy in an envelope for Jack to decorate, and then keep the original. I'm weird. He may be very pissed some day when they all come spilling out of his baby book. Okay, remember this fact later on...
me: (as we passed by the mailbox near the town green) Jack, do you want to just mail it here? I can take your picture...
Jack: No, there's an OFFICIAL mailbox at the mall that goes directly to Santa at the North Pole. This one gets all sorted with regular mail and we'll probably be late!
me: I think it's fine. But we can go look at the mall. I think it's outside Macy's.
We walk all around Macy's outside the mall, freezing our tooties off. Freaken wind, eh? No box.
me: Jack, let's just go inside and look at the other door to the store. Maybe it's inside...
We wander around for a bit. Jack takes off hat, gloves and mittens. I'm holding that, plus my purse and his letter.
Jack: Just ASK someone, okay?? (getting a bit frantic)
me: (sweating like a mother in my 20-below winter jacket that I'm still wearing, plus a scarf...) Okayyyy. Excuse me, do you know if there's a Santa mail box in the mall?
girl at tea store: Uh... (blank stare) try over where Santa is sitting?
me: Not at Macy's? I heard it was at Macy's.
me: Let's go Jack. If the mail box isn't near Santa, you know what we could do? We can get in line to take a picture with Santa and you can give it directly to him!
Jack: Ohhhh, that will save a LOT of time! Good idea Mom! (there's a new spring in his step)
We get over to where Santa is stationed. No line! I go over to the little desk and the girl says "Oh I'm sorry, but Santa is just going off on a break. For an hour." Are you kidding me? SIGH!
Jack: Well, we can go in the play area for awhile to kill time. Or I'm hungry and want Panera Bread! Wait, look Mom, there goes Santa!
And lo and behold, Santa is heading for the men's room.
Jack: I have to go pee real REAL bad Mom. (dances around)
me: We are NOT going to pee where Santa pees. That will just mess you up. Oh, but we can go in the ladies room. Duh. Let's go.
We stroll by the men's room door to get to the ladies room. (Why do they always put the men's room closer to the main restroom entrance. WHY?) Someone goes into the men's room as we pass. Who do we see standing at the urinal? Santa. Taking a wee wee. Jack glances over but I twirl him around and try to distract him. I do NOT think Jack saw. OMG. I almost couldn't take any more. We go kill time at Panera Bread. By now it's dinner time.
Jack: Can I get the grilled cheese? Please!???
me: Yeah, sure. I'll get the grilled chicken caesar salad.
Jack: (takes a few bites) I'm actually full.
me: (take a few bites) This is gross and I'm not hungry either.
We wrap up all of our food to take home. What a waste of time and money. We go to the play area for a bit, and then decide to try Santa again. Of course we get there and the line is just spectacular at this point. For some reason, everyone in line is trying to pay for photo packages first. We just step up to the side of that line and get next in line to see Santa. Screw it, I'll pay later if I want to.
Santa: Come on over little boy, what do you have here?
Jack: (harsh whisper) Mommm, tell him!
me: Well Santa, we were a little late mailing our letter to you, so we decided to deliver it in person. I hope that's okay.
Santa: That's fine! Let's open this up and see what you're asking for. It feels pretty thick (yeah 4 pages) so I hope you've been a good boy!
me: (freaking out now because Jack will see that I've copied his original letter with multiple cutouts and glued on pictures) Oh crap... Uh, do you have to look now? heh heh.
Jack: Well what I really want is a bow and arrow. (he doesn't even notice the letter, because he's so star struck. Yay!)
Santa: Well sometimes we just put the letter on the floor and use our magic pointer to pick the presents that we'll send you. I hope you'll be happy with whatever you receive!
Jack: Oh I will I will! Thank you! (gets a candy cane, freaks out that it's broken, and has Santa give him another UNbroken candy cane). Mom, look, a candy cane!
me: Great. (I'm sweating to death and am getting sensory overload from the loud music)
Jack: I can't believe we delivered my actual letter to Santa. That's just great. (he is beaming)
As we leave the mall, we pass another Santa-like creature with the Salvation Army bucket.
Jack: Mom Mom, we have to donate!
me: Okay, here's some money. Can you put it in the bucket for me?
Jack: It's supposed to be coins so you can hear it clink!
me: This is more money than coins, it's fine.
Jack: How much was that?
me: Just one dollar.
Jack: (panics) I hope that wasn't my allowance!!! Was that my allowance!!
me: You're fine Jack. I have more dollars for your allowance. Don't worry.
Sheesh, so much for selfless. Jack is very generous normally...just as long as it doesn't mess with HIS world. Anyway, we're done with the Santa thing. I ended up buying the cheapest photo package for $20, and we got the last gift on my list. We did make a great memory and a pretty fun story. Who knew that Santa actually has to go pee? I've never even thought of that. :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Jack and I have been reading "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" for a few weeks now. We read a few pages or a half of a chapter per night. Jack is really into it and he follows along with serious focus. At the end of each chapter we talk about Aslan, the Beavers, and the 4 kids...Susan is his favorite... "She's so cute, Mom." Yes, he wants to marry her too. Maybe plural wives are in his future...sigh...
Jack: Mom, why did Peter get a sword from Aslan?
me: I think he's gonna have to fight someone...to protect his brothers and sisters.
Jack: Yeah I guess so since the next chapter's called "Peter's first battle".
me: That would be the big clue, yes.
But even though the book is pretty tame as far as violence and scary imagery goes, there is one scene that I sort of changed the wording of as I read it. The witch was going to cut Edmund's throat, so I was like "she pulled his hair back and...it hurt..." Luckily Jack wasn't reading along with me at that point. I think he'd really like to see the movie, but I'd be worried about that scene. Anybody see it? How bad was it really?
When Jack went to bed finally, he called me back into the room for one last thing. I mean 2...
Jack: Mom, 2 things...
Jack: First thing. I'm sorry. Because I didn't want to be mean to you before.
me: Thank you. That's a nice thing to say.
Jack: And the second thing. I want to be a minotaur tonight.
me: Ha. That's funny. But in the book they have centaurs, not minotaurs.
Jack: Mom, just because we're reading a book about something it doesn't mean I have to be something from that book you know.
me: Is that the 3rd thing you want to tell me?
Jack: No. What are you talking about?
me: Never mind, good night minotaur.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Jack: I definitely want a gymnastics birthday. Because they give you a medal and a t-shirt.
me: Jack, we can buy you a medal and a t-shirt.
Jack: Yeah, but at the gymnastics party you have to EARN the medal and t-shirt.
I don't have the heart to tell him that all birthday parties get medals and all birthday boys and girls get t-shirts. Why argue. :) Now to call my friend about the 6-year-old birthday cake! Here's a peek of the cake from last year. Amazing!
Friday, December 17, 2010
Jack: WHO. IS. THAT? (pointing at Hermione)
me: Those guys are from the Harry Potter movies. You know that right? She's Hermione.
Jack: Her, what?
me: No, Hermione is her whole first name.
Jack: Is she real?
me: Ha ha, yeah she's real. What do you mean? Well, she's not a real wizard, that's just a character in a movie.
Jack: But SHE's real?
me: Well, her real name is Emma. She just plays Hermione in the movie. (He looks mildly confused.) So, like if you were in a play about a Bison, and you dressed up in fur, people would say "Who's playing that Bison?" and then they'd say "OH that's Jack." So you are the bison and you're Jack. She's Hermione and she's also Emma.
Jack: Ohhhhh! Is she a star?
me: You mean movie star? Yeah. She's pretty famous.
Jack: Well, the word "star" doesn't impress me at all. (he waves his hand dismissively)
me: (shaking my head) Okay, I don't know where you got that phrase, but it's pretty funny.
Jack: Is she married?
Jack: I could marry her.
me: I guess you could if you met her.
Jack: Did you ever meet her?
me: No. But Megan at work did.
Jack: She did? Wow. (pause) Megan's a nice name.
me: (Oh boy...)
Anyone else out there have a 5-year-old with raging hormones? It gets worse, right? Like, a LOT worse... Sigh...
Jack: Who's Chris?
me: That's Lucia's husband. You haven't met him yet.
Jack: Archie and no Kramer. Awwwwww! And now I'm sad. (his eyes well up)
me: Ohhhh, I know sweetie. Everyone will miss Kramer.
Jack: Why do cats die?
me: Well, they get old or they get very sick.
Jack: Which one was Kramer?
me: He was very sick sweetie.
Jack: Is he buried in the earth forever?
me: Well.. (I believe he was cremated but I didn't want to get into THAT before bedtime)
Jack: Did he go to heaven?
me: Of course he did.
Jack: How long after you die do you go to heaven?
me: It's pretty much right away.
Jack: Is he up there now?
Jack: Will he be born again?
me: I don't know. Some people believe that, but I don't know for sure.
Jack: When we die will we be reborn as people again?
me: Not sure about that either.
Jack: I think we get born again. I really believe that.
me: You may be right.
Jack: Do we get born again as other things like bumble bees?
me: Maybe. We don't know because when people die, they don't come back to tell us exactly what happened to them.
Jack: And that's exactly why I do not like being human! (he sits on my lap and looks all freaked out)
me: Awww, I know...
Jack: I would rather be a BISON! Being a person is NOT good. You never know what happens. I hate people.
me: But I'm a person.
Jack: Yeah, well not you and not Daddy. I like you.
me: What about Ed and Bella.
Jack: I like cats too. It's just...sigh...
me: I know, it's hard to think about those things, huh?
Jack: Yeah. I'm sad Kramer had to die.
me: Me too. But he knows we're thinking about him. And you just have to be happy about that, okay?
Jack: Okay. I'm not gonna think about this anymore, it's too stressful.
Imagine what he'll be thinking about when he turns 6?? If I make it that far. :)
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Jack: Mom, come see my new garbage machine!
me: Okay, what's this all about? Looks interesting...
Jack: Yeah, you go like this (he grabs his Trouble game box) and you shove this in here, and then watch watch! It flips over and the garbage goes inside and then it gets crushed and comes out here. (dramatic flip of the box and the Trouble game shoots across the floor)
me: Wow! You put a lot of thought into this huh?
Jack: Yeah. I really want to be an inventor when I grow up. Can I?
me: You can be anything you want to be.
Jack: Good, I want to be an inventor, and invent the coolest garbage crusher.
me: Well, you can invent anything. Not just...garbage stuff.
Jack: No, it's definitely gonna be garbage something. I can just tell.
Well, once I'm done watching Modern Family (repeat! which is ironically about the family being too attached to their electronics...as I sit here on my netbook...) I may just go post a video of Jack from when he was 3. He invented a credit card crusher machine, and Dennis interviewed him about it. He's been inventing for YEARS. Let's see what he can do.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Jack made fun of my shoes "Aww, lookit your little pointy shoes. They make a really annoying sound when you walk Mom."
He didn't like the way I cut up his pancakes for dinner "You KNOW I like them in STRIPS so why did you cut them into SQUARES???"
When we're in the middle of playing he stops and asks me if we can play. I never understood that one. "Mom, can we PLAAAYYYY???" "We are playing." I point out. "Not right now we're not! You're talking!" "Sighhh..." Can't win that one can I?
Jack had a really excellent day at school. I asked him how come it was easy to behave today and not so easy on other days. "Oh I can do it whenever I want to. I just don't always want to. Sometimes the words just have to come out and I can't stop them."
And then the fun circus Jack put me through right after dinner. I was trying to clean up so we could go and play. Jack had other ideas.
Jack: Mom, I'm hungry for a snack.
me: You just ate dinner.
Jack: So? I want chocolate.
me: You're not having chocolate. Too close to bedtime. How about fruit with a little whipped cream on top?
Jack: EWWW I hate whipped cream. (I know for a fact that he does not hate it, but whatever)
me: Don't even go in that cabinet. What would you like then?
Jack: Peanuts! But you have to peel them for me. It's soooo harrrrrdddd. (he feigns collapsing on the floor)
me: Okay, I can get you some. (I start cracking peanuts onto a paper plate)
Jack: (tries to climb up onto the chair at the counter, slips and cracks his funny bone) OwwwwWWWWW! Mommy!!!
me: (drop the peanuts and run around the counter) Here let me rub it. Please climb up normally. You always get hurt this way.
Jack: (gets back down) I'm gonna look at this stuff on the fridge.
me: (back to the peanuts) Well I got 2 done...sheesh...
Jack: Oh Mom come look at this. I can't find the next window to open on the countdown calendar (Cars themed Advent calendar)
me: Jack, let me finish one thing please.
Jack: But I can't FIND it!
me: You have like 4 peanuts here. I hope you're not too hungry.
I back up and trip over the cat bowl that was left there because ... Oh do you really want to hear this... because Bella will eat all of Ed's food if we leave it over there next to her bowl. So we bring it over here and put it in the microwave for safe keeping after Ed eats a few bites. Then he meows when he wants a few more bites. This can go on for an hour or more until he's eaten all of his food. Up, down, open microwave, close microwave, trip on bowl, back in microwave, meow, back out of microwave, shoo Bella away, put back in microwave. Accidentally turn on microwave thinking it's my tea, but it's actually cat food. Sigh. Yeah, that's more information than I needed to share.
And you wonder why my mind goes blank promptly at 8:30pm.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Jack: You never taught me how to fish.
me: (?) We still have time.
Jack: And you never taught me snowboarding, skateboarding or surfing.
me: You want to learn all of those things?
Jack: Yes. Very much. Well maybe skiing the most.
me: When you turn 6 we'll make a list of all the things you want to learn next year.
Jack: And nunchucks.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Jack: Oh Jesus Christ.
me: Hey! Not nice Jack.
Jack: Sorry. But that's God.
me: Not when you say it like that.
Jack: What if I say Oh Daddy?
me: Sigh, that's different.
Jack: No, it's not because I still said someone's name. How is that bad.
me: Just don't say it okay?
Jack: (later on when he drops something) Oh Jesus!
me: (warning tone) Jack...!
Dennis: Hey, knock it off Jack.
me: Well you say it...I guess no one in this house should say it then.
Jack: Yeah, Daddy says it.
Dennis: Just say "Geez" Jack, that's okay to say.
Jack: (putting an ornament on the tree) Oh Geez Is that sharp! (he looks at me because he knows he just said Jesus without actually saying it)
Saturday, December 11, 2010
Earlier today we went and cut our tree. Santa was on a break, it was 40 degrees out and you know, it wasn't the same as having a snow covered field to cut your tree down, but eh, it was fun. The tree wasn't as large as I would have liked.
Jack: NO, not that one, it's too small.
me: Jack, it's like 10 feet taller than you.
Jack: Eh, it has to be bigger. He wanders off to climb on a big rock.
Dennis: Are we basing this on the whim of a 5-year-old?
me: Well, I want him to help pick.
Dennis: He's over there barking orders.
me: Hey Jack! Pick this one or that one. (secretly hoping he'll pick THAT one...)
Jack: This one.
Dennis: Can I cut or do we need to have another discussion...
me: Go ahead.
Jack: I want to cut it!
Dennis: Stand back.
Dennis: No, seriously stand back, I'm almost all the way through and it's gonna fall towards you guys.
me: Jack go over there a bit, okay?
Dennis: You got it? It's coming down.
me: UGH! (thing hits me almost in the shoulder) Here, let's tag it and go. Wait, where's Jack?
Dennis: Over by that tree.
And what was Jack doing do you ask? Of all the things that could possibly go wrong, of all the million other things he could have been doing? What does Jack choose to do? He was pulling vines of poison ivy off of the large tree that was next to the rock he was climbing. My scream could be heard for miles.
Guess we'll see what develops in 7 - 14 days. I was meant to age before my time. There must be a reason. This can't all be for nothing.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Anyway, therefore Jack and I decided to go to the mall to eat and have some fun. By fun I mean picking up my Christmas cards, a 2nd time, returning a hair dryer and getting a little shopping done. A certain 5-year-old did not agree about my definition of fun. He preferred the play area. He's really too big to go in there, but who's stopping me?
We ate at Panera Bread. Yummmm. Breaddddddd. And then shopped til we dropped.
me: So Jack... was the best part about your day today... (I was assuming I would get a school story)
Jack: Spending time with you!
me: Awwww, you are too sweet.
Jack: I'm having so much fun Mommy.
me: Well what was the worst thing that happened today. Something that you wish wouldn't happen again.
Jack: Getting in trouble at school.
me: Uh oh...
Jack: Well it wasn't in TROUBLE really, but I talked back and had to move my clip down to Think About it. But then I got to move it back to Ready To Learn.
me: Okay, sounds good.
Jack: Does that mean I can play Sonic when I get home?
me: Sigh.... (one track mind)
Anyway we stayed out way past Jack's bedtime. Didn't even realize it! And then he crashed on the way home. I tucked him in and he had me rub his back until he fell asleep. It was a fun night.
And regarding that Sonic game, have any of you ever seen this? It's a kids game for pete's sake. This pissed me off. Jack won't be playing this game again online...
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Jack: Mommmyyyy!!! (calling from bed)
me: (doing my half-asleep dash up the stairs) Good morning Jack...how did you sleep?
Jack: Yeah good. Hey can I play Sonic? I got to level 4!!! (he's so blunt)
me: Um...listen, we can have breakfast first. Then you need to get dressed AND brush your teeth, and if you are good for all of that, we may have 5 minutes for Sonic... (I see he's about to argue) AND no arguing or it's no game. Yawwwwnnn...
Jack: Sigh...okay...Is breakfast ready yet?
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Possibly the cats.
Jack has loved gadgets since he was old enough to grasp anything. Oh NOOOOO he did not want toy remote controls or toy cell phones. It had to be the real deal or he would toss it away. These days he sets up his own movies in the DVD, works out the 2 remotes to get the TV and DVD going...he can get on my computer into Firefox and find all his websites. He created a shortcut for pbskids.com for Pete's sake!!!!!! All monitored for time of course.
Now with the new phone I have, Jack can play a few games I downloaded for him. He's loving life. He also started in on Sonicgames.com, and plays the old fave Sonic that Dennis and I used to play. Too funny. Jack is quickly becoming an addict. Gee I wonder where he gets that from??? Daddy? Yes. Uncle Jeff?? Yes... Cousin Joey? YES. It's in the blood.
me: You have one more minute to play Sonic. Then it's off.
me: Do you hear me?
Jack: Yea...OH Come ON, the stupid SORRY thing won't let me jump!
me: Anyway, one minute.
Jack: Can you HELP!!!???
me: Here let me see. Jack you're going backwards, that's why. You have to go left to right. You're trying to go up that ramp that you just fell down. Go the other way.
Jack: Thanks...(more grunting)
me: (a minute later) Okay, times up. Turn it off please.
Jack: Okay. (keeps playing)
Jack: I just have to ...ugh...get over to this other level...
me: NOW please...
Jack: (panic) I'm almost to the level!!!!
me: Hit Firefox and quit now.
Jack: NOOOO! Can't I just...
me: (reaching over his head to quit the browser)
Jack: But SAVE this, then I'll have to go back and do it all over again!
me: You have time. You're 5.
Jack: But I already did the work.
me: You'll be faster at it next time.
(next morning at 6:30 a.m.)
Jack: Good morning Mommy, so okay can I go back on and play Sonic?
me: Grunt...(oh no... how many more years of this do I have to look forward to??)
Jack and I were in 5 Guys last night (burger place) and he started to
look really sad.
me: What's up Jack?
Jack: I'm thinking that thing again, about that person again.
Jack: You know...
me: Come here and whisper it if you want to.
Jack: It's the girl from the Radio City show.
me: Clara? Thinking about her again?
Jack: (his eyes start to fill up) Yeah... you know what I want to do to her?
me: Ummm...why don't you come over here and tell me. (Egads...)
Jack: (comes over and whispers in my ear with french fry breath) I
want to marry her.
me: Oh sweetie...(I give him a big hug and he just sags into me). You know what?
Jack: What? Sniff...
me: Someday you're gonna meet a very special girl and get married, and
I know you'll be a very sweet husband.
me: Are you okay?
Jack: I just really liked looking at her.
me: I know...
Now how sweet is that??
Sunday, December 5, 2010
We pulled out all of the small trees that we put up around the house. Yes I said "all". There's one for the kitchen, a tabletop size. One for Jack's room, with all of his ornaments, one for my office...which is the fiber optic kind...the list goes on. My hands are chapped and sore from primping and straightening all of the branches. You know how they come out of the box...all crushed and flat. I fluffed (shut up, you know who you are) them all.
me: I'm so sick of fluffing trees Jack.
Jack: What does that mean?
me: You know, pulling the branches out so the trees look nice. That was the 3rd tree. I'm sick of it. Fluff, fluff, fluff, all day.
Jack: We put up three trees?
me: Yeah, I fluffed the one in the kitchen, fluffed the one in my office, fluffed your tree...I'm sure Daddy will want me to fluff his tree later. Heh heh...
Jack: I don't know what that means. You talk weird.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Jack: Well tomorrow's Sunday and normally I do not like to do ANYthing on Sunday so if that's the one thing we're doing then just know that that's it and I have to unwind after that.
I guess it's been a long week for us all, even 1st graders! :)
Thursday, December 2, 2010
Anyway we went in the house and for some reason we were both starving. We polished off some leftover rice and tea biscuits. Weird huh? But it worked. That was around 4pm and I still haven't eaten anything else. Guess that's it for food tonight.
Jack: Let's play Star Wars.
me: Okay. You can be Luke. I'll be Leia.
Jack: Pretend we're eating in that place...
me: The Cantina? (I burst into my whistling rendition of the song.)
Jack: Stoppit! Yeah, pretend we're eating Star Wars food.
me: Fried rice in Star Wars? Okay...
Jack: Mmmm, this is good. I need to get someone to fly me around.
me: I think that guy over there looks like a pilot. Whatdya think?
Jack: What's the big furry guy?
me: Looks like a Wookie. He's gross.
Jack: (whispers to me) Mom I think I want to be Chewbacca now. (he wraps himself up in his blanket and starts writhing around)
me: Ew, a disgusting Wookie eating right next to me??
Jack: Nooo, I'm your friend.
me: (I never leave character!!) But can you fly the Millennium Falcon?
me: Okay let's go!
Jack: (whispers) Wait, I have to finish my rice...(starts gobbling)
me: Sigh, I was just getting into it...
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
On Monday when I was in NYC and Dennis picked Jack up from the bus, I got a voicemail from Jack.
Jack: Hi Mommmmm, I got you something REAL speeeeccciiiaalllll... Anyway, where are you. Call us back.
When I came home I saw the gift bag on the floor. I tried not to peek.
me: Jack, Now you have to wrap the presents for me and Daddy, and we'll put them under the tree.
Jack: (mild panic) What? But I don't know how to wrap. You have to help me, but then you'll see the presents!
me: Oh I know. I'll get you 2 gift bags and then you can put my present in one bag and Daddy's in the other. How's that?
Jack: Okay! Let's go do it now.
I left him in my office with the instructions to separate the presents, put them each in a bag and then cover it with tissue.
Jack: Mom! You got way more presents than Daddy!
me: How many things did you buy?
(We didn't allot much money for each gift. $10 I think? Or was it $5?)
Jack: Wait a minute. Oh noooo. I have bad news Mom. Daddy has more presents than you. (big frown)
me: That's okay sweetie, Daddy will be happy. Now you should label each bag so we don't get them mixed up. (he used post-it notes rather than ruin 2 perfectly good bags by writing on them.)
After Jack went to bed I came into my office to clean up. I noticed some small weird cardboard boxes on the floor and realized that whatever Jack had bought for us had come in small boxes. Rather than put the boxes into the gift bags, he took the gift out of the protective box and put that into the gift bag. I hope they aren't fragile! And I tried not to peek but I may have glimpsed a photo of a globe on one of the small boxes.
Anyway, I can't wait for Christmas to see if Jack gets excited to watch us open the gifts that he picked out. I love giving him the opportunity to feel proud of himself and also to feel the spirit of giving. I always get it in full force around this time of year. And if the last 5+ years prove anything, Jack will feel the same way.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Jack: Mom, you know who I wish was my girlfriend?
me: (uh oh) Who?
Jack: The dancer from the Radio City show.
me: Uhhh, which one (There are about 36 dancers in the Rockettes. I knew he liked older women, but really?)
Jack: The ballerina girl that came out with Santa.
me: Ohhhh...(she was about 10)
Jack: Her name was Clara. I heard Santa say it. I've been thinking about her ALLLL day. Sigh..... (he was all angsty over this)
me: She was a very good dancer. (what else could I say?)
Jack: Here's the thing about me taking classes.
me: What? (he lost me)
Jack: When I take classes or go to school, there's always a girl that I like in each class.
me: Okaaayyyy? Are you talking about first grade?
me: Who do you like in your class?
me: I don't remember her right now, but I know I've seen her. What do you like about her? The way she behaves or the way she looks?
Jack: The way she looks. Sigh... Both.
me: What does she look like? Long hair? Short?
Jack: Dark brown and short. Sighhhhh... (he's really really hurting over this subject.)
me: Does she like you too?
Jack: (snaps out of his reverie) What? I don't know! Can you read Empire Strikes Back???
Subject had been officially closed. Aww, poor kid. Imagine what I'll be writing about in 10 years. (sob)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Anyway, I missed his Tae Kwon Do Class as well. I like those little things, and I realize that I really do hate missing them. I finally came home around 7. They had eaten dinner and brought me some pizza. We actually pulled into the garage at the exact same moment, which is always funny.
me: Hi Jack! (see? that name!)
Jack: Hi Mommy! I got Teacher's Choice today. (which is down two notches from having a good day)
me: Well, you'll have to try harder tomorrow. (I grab him in a big hug) I missed you so much today!
Jack: You know what? I don't think I missed you. Because I didn't really think about you so I guess that means I didn't miss you?
me: Oh, that's okay...(I fake pout)
Jack: Wait, oh yes! I did think about you in Tae Kwon Do! (he looks to see if that cheers me up)
me: Yay! Then you missed me a little?
me: Very convincing. Thanks!
Saturday, November 27, 2010
me: Everyone hates school sometime, but ---
Jack: I know what you're trying to do. You're trying to say that I shouldn't hate school and try to make me like it. Well you can't because it stinks.
me: No, what I actually was going to say is that we all hated school sometime BUT we all have to do it so you better get used to it. Fake that you like it. Do the work, be a good boy for the teacher, be a good friend to the other kids in your class and then you'll get through it without any trouble.
Jack: But there's so much WORK!
me: Mommy and Daddy can help you with your homework and projects or whatever. We'll always be here to help. Don't worry.
Jack: Yeah but you're not IN school with me. That's where there's the most work.
me: Luckily you are good at your classwork. Imagine the kids that have a bit of trouble learning the lessons. They still have to do the work and they might not even understand it. That must be even harder!
Jack: Yeahh. I guess. But I still hate Sundays. I'm gonna hate it all day tomorrow, you'll see.
me: Oh I can hardly wait.
Jack: And I know that you're being sarcastic and Daddy says that's rude so you're being rude to me.
me: I'm sorry. We really can't talk about it anymore because you're supposed to be asleep. Now settle back down and give me a kiss. (he mildly complies)
Jack: And what's with this NEW tissue box over here. I want my old PUFFS box back. (he throws off the covers again)
me: No no no...get back in there. We're not discussing tissues at bedtime. We can talk about it tomorrow.
Jack: I'll be too busy talking about Sunday.
me: I know...
Jack: And how much I hate it. Good night. I love you. Meow. (that's from Stripey to me.)
me: Goodnight. And meow to Stripey. Get some rest okay?
No answer. Jack was already asleep. I guess he had to go down fighting tonight. Last night he crawled in bed to "rest" at 6pm while I made dinner. He didn't wake up until 7am this morning. Tough life eh?
Friday, November 26, 2010
I have already started my shutterfly calendar. I'm just waiting for the December photo which will hopefully have snow in it. We'll see! The holiday card I'm interested in from Shutterfly is the Bold Bright Wishes card. Lots of black and white and primary colors. Just my style. I never really get into tons of collage-like photos and try to do things very simply with just one or two photos. This card will do the job. Also, I prefer the glossy photo card to the more traditional folded card. Simply because I get to have my holiday message right on the front, and everyone can pin the card to their fridge, clip it to the tree or put it in a photo album. I actually love to receive photo cards from friends and family, no matter how cliche it may seem, simply because you get to see how big all of the kids have gotten... and it somehow feels special to be included on the list of people that get a photo card!
I asked Jack what he thought about our holiday photo experience this year. We went to a local store, had a family shot done and they did the cards right there. I wasn't happy about the photo that I was in, of course! And the whole experience was crowded and rushed.
Jack: I didn't want to do a family portrait! Awwww, it was boring! You're not gonna like your picture anyway. Why don't we just do it online like you always do.
Ah, spoken like a true internet shopper. I have so much more control over my photo selection when I do it myself online. In the store I was pressured to pick my photos and my card and I'm not 100% happy with what we're getting. Therefore, if Shutterfly awards me with 50 free cards, I think I'm gonna scrap the store-bought version and do them online like I should have to begin with. If only I had see this promotion a few weeks ago. GAHHH!
Jack: Are you done typing on your blog? It's time to play Wookie!!
me: Sigh...Gotta go!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Jack and I sat down to do some sketching tonight. He suggested it. I went and got out my pencil kit. Of course Jack was intrigued. He has a #2 and I have 2H, 2B, HB and on and on.
Jack: What are all those letters for?
me: They tell you how hard the lead is.
me: Because the harder leads are less smudgey...see? (I drew a line and wiped my finger on it.)
Jack: Cool! Can I try? Let me start with 5B.
me: That's a very soft and black smudgey one.
Jack: What did you draw in art class?
me: (I grab an apple from the fruit bowl and plunk it down) This.
Jack: I'm not hungry.
me: No, we drew fruit.
Jack: Okay, let me try. (he struggles for awhile trying to make a circle)
me: It takes a bit of practice.
Jack: UGH! I don't want to draw an apple. Can I draw whatever I want?
me: Of course...
Jack: Okay, girl with pigtails coming up. Here's her head...
me: Nice. Check out my paper.
Jack: Awww you're such a good drawer.
Jack: Can you by me a pencil set like this? I want 3B and 2H pencils.
me: When you're older.
Jack: Yeah yeah, there's lots to do when I'm older. (BIG sigh...)
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Here's our conversation from this morning:
Jack: Aw I don't wanna see a Christmas show. It's not spectacular!
me: It'll be so much fun, with dancing and music. You'll see...
Jack: It'll be stupid, sorry!! It sounds BOR-ing!!!
me: Well we're going so go get your shoes on!
And then during the show:
Jack: This is SOOOO much fun!!!!
me: Mom's always know best.
Jack: And you're right about that!
Some of the people around us just loved to watch Jack watching the show. He was SO completely into it. When all the santas came out he screamed "WHOAAAAA!!" And when the kids flew up in the air and it started to snow, he shouted "That snow is amazing!!! I know they're really not flying because I can see the strings, but this is SO cool!!!" I was glad he had such a good time.
The one comment that Jack made that I thought was pretty observant was this... "Mom, how come none of the dancers have brown skin?" Hm.
After the show we ate lunch and then went to Bryant park for some ice skating. I'll put up some pics soon. Promise. We had fun watching Jack force himself to learn to skate in a matter of minutes. By sheer will alone he was able to go from complete novice to the kid that can Frankenstein around on the ice with arms held wide for about 5-10 feet before lurching for the wall. We were very proud of his determination, though it's a bit frustrating to have him want to be such a damn perfectionist at everything. We would try to hold onto him and he would scream "NO! I can do it!" Well, he did it. Add it to the list of accomplishments for 2010. There's a lot of em.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Jack: Oh no we forgot to pack!
me: We're only going to NYC for the day tomorrow, we're not sleeping over.
Jack: Aww, but I want to sleep over! Let's just do that okay?
me: We can't because the next day is Thanksgiving so we have to be home for everyone to come over.
Jack: We can leave on an early train!
me: Sorry. We'll still have fun.
Jack: (starts to sniffle) Can you blow my nose...
me: Here...(I hold a tissue up to his nose) And then when we ---
Jack: (cuts me off) Uh, I'm not done blowing, whydidja take the tissue away!
me: Oh sorry I thought ---
Jack: Focus lady, Focus!
me: Really? (I give him the Mom look. Eyebrows raised.)
Jack: Sorry, so anyway I'll have to pack a lot of toys for the train then. Like my rubik's cube and my etch-a-sketch, and maybe my scooter.
me: What?? No scooter on the train.
Jack: That was a joke. I was seeing if you were paying attention. You still need to focus.
me: Very funny.
Jack: I was good at school ALL last week, remember.
me: I remember. You had a great week and your teacher was really proud of you. (I gave him a big hug)
Jack: This week there's only 2 days of school, so if I'm good for those days then I will have 2 whole GOOD WEEKS of school!
me: (laughing) That's a good way to figure it I guess. Then you can try for 3 weeks!
Jack: I don't think I've had 2 good weeks yet... have I?
me: Sigh...probably not.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
What's better than a day with nothing to do? Well there are things to do, but we didn't do any of them. No shower, no getting dressed. Did we even brush our teeth? I really don't think so. It all ended with salad and lasagna in front of the fire and another round of Toy Story 3. Then chocolate chip cookies. Ahhh.
Jack: I think we should eat in front of the fire tonight because it's so cold out.
me: Good idea. You're always coming up with the good ideas lately. How about lasagna for dinner?
me: And salad with lots of stuff in it?
Jack: Yummmmm! But we should eat in the dining room because we'll get sauce on the rug.
me: Good boy. (he races to get the movie going)
Jack: All set! (he can juggle the 3 remotes to get the TV, DVD player and surround sound going)
me: The lasagna has a few more minutes in the oven... Want to play cards while we wait?
Jack: You and Daddy play cards. I'll watch.
me: How come? Don't you want to play too?
Jack: No. It's too much pressure to win. I'll watch and help you guys out. You sit here, and Daddy sits here. I'll sit in the middle and watch the fire. (he camps us out 2 inches from the fireplace.)
me: (to Dennis) So do you want to play Rummy?
Jack: What's rummy??? Play Go Fish!
me: We want to play rummy. If you want to play go fish with us, we'll play that.
Jack: Nooo, just go ahead and play. (he sulks a bit)
We start the game and Jack immediately gets bored. We try to explain the rules and he exclaims "BO-RING" every few minutes.
Jack: When will you be done?
me: When we're done.
I wonder what goes through that head of his. He loves to play cards, and games, but mostly when it's just him and someone else. If there's a third person, Jack will always want to sit out and watch. Hmmm.
And now for some pictures that I've been meaning to post. I'm a little bit behind on this, so enjoy!
|Optimus Prime for Halloween|
|Optimus Prime gets jiggy wid it|
|Jack kept his mouth open the whole time|
|Jack likes that commercial with the baby that races down the highway in his high chair...|
|His CUTE snail drawing|
|Jack and his wiggle rider|
|Mr. Tough Guy|
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Jack + Sensory Overload = Meltdown. That's the equation. Very simple. The answer leaves no room for doubt. We know what we get. Why have we not learned from it.
Today we went to the mall. (no sensory overload THERE!) Sheesh. We went to get our Christmas card photo taken. Oh and by the way if you do get a card from us, I'm the gross bloated looking one on the far right. None of the pictures of me came out well. None. I hemmed and hawed with the sales guy who was trying to get me to pick at least one family picture to go on the card with two close-ups of Jack. In one my eyes were closed. In another it looked like I was eating popcorn. In the one where I actually looked okay, Dennis looked like a serial killer. "What about that one...?" I suggested. "NO!" Dennis said. Okaayyyyyy... So finally Dennis and the store guy settled on one where we were all smiling. Dennis and Jack looked great. I had two chins and looked like a wrestler.
Anyway, I'm digressing. We went to the mall to get our pictures taken. Everything was nice. Jack had had a GREAT week at school. We all had a good morning...uneventful. And even the pictures went pretty well, except for the fact that I can NEVER be in any of them without looking like... well, read the first paragraph.
We went to the new play area in our mall. Small as shit, no room to move, with lots of big kids pretending to be little kids. There is an age limit of 5, but no one enforces it. So it was crowded, and chaotic. And loud. Jack ran and dove and slid and knocked kids over. Then the elf showed up.
Jack: Hey look, an elf!
me: (averting my eyes because I do not like peope that are dressed up as things like Santa or the Easter bunny or elves. It freakes me out.) Oh...cool...
Elf: Hey little boy, do you want to help me with some magic?
Jack: (rips a mirror out of the guys bag) Okay.
me: Jack! Stop grabbing his things and put that back.
Jack: Let's get on with the magic.
Elf: Okay boys and girls, gather around and I'll pick my assistant!
Jack: Me, me memememememe!
Elf: How about you little girl?
Jack: This guy is ANNOYING! (and he stomps away because he wasn't picked)
We decided to walk around the mall and get lunch and then head home. It was a madhouse. Music, lights, the freaken Christmas tree was up...like total mayhem. On the way back to the car, we passed by the play area again.
Jack: Can I go in one more time please please?
(against our better judgement) Dennis: Sure...
Jack: (screamed from the escalator when he saw the elf in the play area) Hey the CREEPY guy is back!!! (all the moms stopped to look)
So Jack played for a couple more minutes. Some bigger kids showed up. They started pushing Jack down on the little infant slide.
Jack: Okay then! I'll just push you back if that's what you wanna do! (kid has no fear)
me: And that's it, let's go. It's too crowded in here.
Jack: But but NOOOO! (and cue the full on meltdown complete with falling on the floor and kicking and screaming.)
I dragged him out of the play area and realized we had lost Dennis somewhere. I tried texting him to let him know we were done.
Jack: (after 5 minutes of crazy, had finally calmed down) Can we do something else here!???
me: Look, there's facepainting over there...we can try that until Daddy shows up, okay? Just calm down.
So we get in line, which was very long and NOT moving. Then a mom cuts in front of me and says that clearly I was BEHIND her. I let it go. Then her OTHER 3 kids show up for face painting and I see that we're never gonna get up to that table.
me: Come on Jack, the mall is just too crowded. (cue meltdown number 2)
This next meltdown was a rager. It lasted all the way through the mall, out the door, into the parking lot and in the car. It took me about 10 minutes to get Jack in the car, have him stop kicking the back of the seats and on and off argue with Dennis about who was controlling what part of this incident. We were all pissed. Just as I got Jack in his seatbelt for the 3rd time...little bleeper kept unbuckling it...a car beeped behind me. A lady yells out "Are you leaving or what??" I flipped her off. Could she not hear what was happeining in the car? I guess not.
Later on after everyone calmed down and swore that we would never ever return to any mall on the face of the earth, I talked to Jack about his behavior. Oh and after I had him write "I will listen to my Mommy" 10 times on a piece of paper. Yep, I'm old-schoolin it. I had no clue what else to do. Then I had him write an apology letter to me.
me: You feel any bettter now?
me: Was it worth it to have a fit in the mall? Did that make us stay in the play area longer?
me: What might you do next time when I ask you to leave.
Jack: I'll listen.
me: We thought we would go back tomorrow when it was less crowded, but after your behavior today, we're not going back.
Jack: I know.
me: Is there something I can do to help you when you get that upset? I know you can't control yourself.
Jack: I don't know. Itt's like I have the whole internet running around in my head. Back and forth.
me: Is that what it feels like?
Jack: Yeah it's like a car race of stuff in my head and I can't make it stop.
me: I'm sorry Jack, we should just avoid places that are that crowded and noisy.
Jack: Then I won't get so annoyed at everything.
Now, can I remember this next time and not put the poor kid through this again? I tried to tell Dennis...it's not his fault, he just can't control himself. It's not a personal attack against us, though it feels like it. Do I need to remember our trip to Disney? Talk about sensory overload. All Jack wanted to do was play in the hotel pool. We should have known better. Sorry Jack!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Jack: Mom, what's this medal you have hanging here?
me: That's just an ornament that shows the World Trade Center. It's a building that was in New York City. Mommy and Daddy had our wedding at the very top.
Jack: The World Train Center??
me: Trade. With a D.
Jack: What's trade?
me: Like when you give stuff to someone else and they give you something in exchange for it. But it's between countries...
Jack: So like we give them cars and they give us money?
me: Hm. Not bad.
Jack: Why was it in New York City? Where is it now.
me: It's gone. Some bad guys made the buildings fall down.
Jack: How did they do that?
me: They flew a big plane into it and the hole in the building made it fall down.
Jack: Did the bad guys get hurt?
Jack: Well that's good then. They shouldn't do that.
me: I know.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
It started on Sunday night.
Jack: Let's play Star Wars. I'll be Chewbacca.
me: Big surprise. Let's see...who should I be... R2??
Jack: He's not a GIRL!
me: So I can only be one of the girls? Well that doesn't leave too many options.
Jack: Oh yes it does. You can be either Princess Leia or Queen Amidala. See?
me: Okay I guess I'll be Amidala. So I'm in charge of you, right?
Jack: Yeah. I'm the leader of the Wookies and I have to do whatever you say.
me: Nice! Okay, let's make sure no one's sneaking up on us. Check all the entrances to the house. (Jack dutifully ran off to do my bidding. This could work out in my favor!)
Jack: All set Queen.
me: Thank you Chewbacca. You are a fearless leader and I feel safe now.
Jack: Don't tell Daddy what we're playing okay?
me: Okay. Why not?
Jack: Because it's a secret.
me: Okay, but what about tomorrow?
Jack: I'll be Chewbacca at school and no one will know.
me: That sounds good! Chewbacca is always the most well-behaved Wookie of all. That's why he's the leader. So when you're in school, remember that and you still have to act like Chewbacca even though no one knows what you're doing. And I'll be the Queen at work. (haha)
Jack: Yeah! I want to do that. Do you really mean it?
me: Totally! Can you be Chewbacca all day?
Jack: (gives me a scary tough-guy look) Yes!
Suffice it to say that Jack has (so far) had one of the best weeks at school. He got excellent reports each day, and when he hops off the bus he whispers "I'm still Chewbacca, right Mom?" to me. He's really following through, and I'm totally impressed! Before we left for TKD class tonight, we had one more play session of Chewbacca/Amidala.
Jack: We should have a meeting.
me: About what?
Jack: You need to tell all the Wookies what we need to do, and that I'm in charge, and that we're going to a special class to learn how to fight better.
me: Oh, good idea!
I proceeded to talk to the empty hallway and tell all the Wookies that they had to keep our house safe and that we would come back with new self defense knowledge and that Chewbacca would be the one to teach it to them all. We then headed over to Jack's class and I stayed to watch. He rocked all his moves! Jack's instructor gave him some special praise tonight for being so serious and for helping out a new student that just joined. I was so proud of him today.
Let's hope it lasts. Oh please please please!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
me: Jack, what was one really good thing that happened at school today?
Jack: (thinks for a second) Oh, I know. Art class! We learned about painting and how you can paint wherever you want and it can always be different.
me: That sounds cool...
Jack: Wait...so there's this artist we learned about, and I can't remember his name, but he was from a long LONG time ago, like in the 1960's or something...and I think...wait...his name was Henry in English, but I don't remember his real name...
me: Was his last name Matisse?
Jack: Huh? Ummm...I think so but his first name was Henrymatisse or something.
me: In French it's Henri Matisse. Matisse is his last name.
Jack: Yeah that's it! Henri! I can't remember that. How do you know about him??
me: I learned about him in art school just like you're learning about him.
Jack: So, he got really sick and was in bed a lot and his mother bought him paints and then he really really liked painting and I think he was famous or something. But then he got old and his nurse said he was too messy with the paints, and you know what? He tied his paintbrush to the end of his cane and painted on the walls!
me: Did he get in trouble?
Jack: Yeah, he got his brush tooken away.
me: Oh, it was taken away?
Jack: Yeah, taken. I said tooken...haha... So you know what? He got paper and scissors and did paper cutouts when he couldn't paint anymore.
me: He made nice pictures with his cutout paper, didn't he?
Jack: Yeah. It was really cool. Can we do cutouts tomorrow?
I just remembered a small coffee table book that we have about Matisse's cutout period. It's still in a box in the basement. I'm going to run down and grab it now before I forget. I'll let you know what Jack thinks of it.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Anyway, I can't even write normal, that's how crappy my day has been. But Jack? Stellar! Amazing! One of the best days in the history of days?
He came off the bus with a sort of smile/frown/worried expression. I was perplexed.
Jack: Ohhhh...guess what!? I stayed on "Ready to Learn" today.
me: Yipee! I knew you could do it.
Jack: No, I'm just kidding...I went down to "think about it".
me: Oh, well, then at least it wasn't too bad...
Jack: JUST KIDDING! I was on READY TO LEARN all day!!! hahahahaha. (he takes off running across the street and up our driveway)
me: Little sh*t. (but it was funny)
Then later, before Tae Kwon Do, we did homework...Jack rocked through 3 sheets of math. "Piece of cake" he claimed, as he shoved each completed sheet aside.
Jack: Mom, go back on you tube and get the counting in Korean. Today I'm going to count in Korean if I get called on in class.
me: Really? Wow. They will be so impressed. That's usually only what the yellow and purple belts do.
Jack: I want to do it today. I know they'll call on me.
me: Okay, let's check it out. (we watched one or two videos of kids and adults counting up to 10 in Korean)
Jack: Got it. I can't wait to say this in class! (he was so excited)
It sort of sounds like this...Hana, Dool, Set, Net, Dasa, Yosa, Ilgup, Yoda, Ahop, yao. Or something to that effect. Anyway, later in class, the master called on him for the exact move that Jack had predicted. Jack busted out his counting and all the heads swiveled to watch him. One parent said "what the heck is he saying??" I said "He's counting in Korean". I couldn't have been more proud. The master walked up and said to the class "Wow, Jack is counting in Korean. Now that's a champion." And he high-fived Jack. Jack turned around to see me and the look on his face would make any mother proud. And he did it all on his own. He's an amazing kid, and he knows how to impress when he really sets his mind to it.
So, Jack turned my day around. He came home, got cleaned up, touched up some of his homework with some coloring as an added bonus, he ate dinner without too much complaining (butternut squash ravioli) and then watched a bit of Toy Story 3. (you morons!)
Then later that night, he pulled out tooth number 2. He looks just like a Jack-O-Lantern now with the two bottom teeth missing. And darn it, my camera is still up in his room, so no pics again tonight.
Now I don't know the real etiquette, and I've never done this before, but I think I will have to migrate this blog to a new address for next year. I mean, It can't be "sh*t my 5-year-old says" forever, now can it? I've already reserved the 6-year-old slot, so phooey on anyone that tries to steal it. :)
Will you all follow me over there? Pretty please? Okay, I have one more month left and then I make the switch. What if I switch to wordpress? What then? Oh man I have to research.
Anyway, you are all forewarned. On January 26th, 2011, the switch will be made. Or even the night of the 25th! Since Jack was born at 4:36pm, I mean, right? I can do that. It's my blog. Isn't it?
Okay, I knew that I had to get that off my chest.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
We hung out outside for most of the day. We made piles of leaves, played on the swings, played "bad guy" on and off, had some snacks, rode bikes/scooters, filled the bird feeders, and then finally at the end of the day, sat on the warm driveway and watched the sunset. No pics, my camera died after I took a couple of him jumping in the leaves.
me: Here, sit on my lap and your butt will stay warm.
me: See the silhouettes of the trees up there?
Jack: What's that mean?
me: The shape of something. Like if I trace you around the outside of your body... (I demonstrated with a finger and he burst into a giggling fit)
Jack: I see the different tree shapes.
me: What about the clouds? Can you see some soft ones and some feathery looking ones?
Jack: Yeah, right over there! That tree has some leaves left on it...
me: Now close your eyes and what do you hear?
Jack: A lawnmower, and birds...
me: That's it? What about Daddy? (a loud clunking from the garage)
Jack: Yeah I can hear him now.
me: I think that noise is a leaf blower, and not a lawn mower. What else do you hear? I can hear you breathing...
Jack: Oh wow, you really have to listen hard to hear that...
me: And you have to sit really still.
We sat that way for about 5 or 6 more minutes. The sun popped out from behind a cloud for one last show before setting. The wind had disappeared and the chickadees were twittering around. It was a nice moment, and one that is very rare with a boy that never sits still.