Wednesday, January 26, 2011

SO LONG AND GOODNIGHT... from this Blogspot location

This is our last post here.

Please come find us at our new home: Shit My 6-Year-Old Says. I'm glad this will only happen once a year. :)

We had early dismissal today. More snow. Do you hear that California?? MORE SNOW! I picked Jack up early from school. He had already eaten lunch. I had not.

me: Do you want a snack? I'm going to make a sandwich.

Jack: Can I have a piece of roast beef?

me: Just plain? Like rolled up?

Jack: Yeah. (he tastes it) tastes just like blood. Mom do I have a bloody nose???

me: No, that's the meat.

Jack: I don't think I can eat things that taste like blood. (he chucks it in the trash). Can I have a taste of the leftover frosting?

me: Okay, hold on. (I reach to get him a spoon, but instead he grabs a butter knife and dips it into the frosting)

Jack: OW I cut my lip!

me: What the heck did you do?? Jack come on, we don't put knives in our mouths.

Jack: But this is what you spread the frosting with so I thought it was okay. Now the frosting tastes like blood too!!!

me: Sigh.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"Our Senses" (Last post people. You'll have to find me on Wordpress with a 6-year-old tomorrow!)

It turns out that Blogger realized that they were having "issues" yesterday. Yeah, I know all about the "issues". Wasted a lot of my time. I'm sorry to hear it, but I'm still moving to my new home at "". Please come visit us over there tomorrow! I won't even know you're there because of Wordpress' lack of a follower widget.

Jack asked (jack assed?) me what our 5 senses were. He must have heard that at school.

me: The 5 senses are the way we take in information about the things around us. (I didn't want to get into the 6th sense...though I did think about mentioning it. He can wait and see the movie.)

Jack: Huh?

me: What's the first thing you do when you get a new toy?

Jack: Rip open the package?

me: No, before that, when it's on the shelf.

Jack: I look at it.

me: Right! That's one of the senses. Seeing. What are you doing right now?

Jack: Listening to you talk.

me: Right again. Hearing is another sense. So that's two. (I rubbed his cheek)

Jack; Why are you touching me?

me: Because that's the 3rd sense. Touch.

Jack: Ohhhh, so what else do we do?

me: When you eat, what do you do?

Jack: Taste the food!

me: What's the last part that we haven't talked about? (I point to my nose.)

Jack: Smelling! That's 5! What's the 6th sense?

me: Huh? There are only 5.

Jack: Then why were you thinking about 6 before?

This kid always freaks me out.

Monday, January 24, 2011

2nd to last day right here! (Then follow me to Wordpress!)

Remember... on Wednesday I'll be here. Whew. Can't believe I'm a few minutes from having a 6-year-old. Well he really turns 6 at 4:36 pm, but not as far as he's concerned.

Jack: Do I turn 6 as soon as I go to bed?

me: Well, actually tomorrow morning.

Jack: When does morning start?

me: Uh, at midnight. Technically speaking.

Jack: See? You're not telling the truth!!!

me: Sigh.

I asked Jack what he wanted to accomplish as a 6-year old.

Jack: Science.

me: That's it? In general.

Jack: This is the year for science.

me: Oh. Okay. I hope you have excellent luck with that.

Jack: Yep. Goodnight.

And that's how we end our last night with a 5-year-old. Tomorrow is my "transition" day. LOL. I need one. Come on! Then on Wednesday I'll pack up my words and press on. Clever eh? Okay, it's time for bed. The shiny new bike is sitting right behind me. I hope he loves it!!!

Goodnight my special 5-year-old boy. I'll never ever get to see you again.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Planet 51 (3 more days til we move to wordpress and they'll have to deal with my sh*t!)

Yeah, I've made up my mind on that one. It's obviously not as "simple" as blogger, but it's very intuitive and a whole lot more user friendly when you are a control freak. I can control, like, EVERYTHING! So I'm feeling pretty good. 2010 = my switch from Quark to InDesign (haha you thought that would NEVER happen) and 2011 = my switch from Blogger to WP.

Today was a stay at home day. We didn't even get out of PJ's. Well, I did change to running gear for the treadmill, but then back to PJ's. We watched a few snippets of movies that we hadn't finished (Fly me to the moon, Alpha & Omega) and then started Planet 51. I told Jack we could only watch 10 minutes because it was close to bed time. When will I ever learn? Maybe when he's 6.

me: Okay, 2 minutes left and then we shut it off.

Jack: mhmmm...

me: Did you hear me? 2 minutes.

Jack: yeah.... (eyes never leaving the screen)

me: (2 minutes later) Okay, I'm pausing it...

Jack: But NOOOO I just want to see that guys face when he turns around!

me: (stupidly hit play again) Ok. Oh, they're not showing it now sorry...

Jack: WAIT! I just want to see...

me: (PAUSE!) Sorry, we're done.

Jack: That's fine, I'll just skip school and watch it all tomorrow anyway. Hmmmphffff.

me: Excuse me???

Jack: I said HMMMPHHHH.

me: No more videos in the hour before bed. New rule.

Jack: Yeah yeah, add it to the list.

me: Try that one again please...

Jack: Sorry...Sigh.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

I tried, I really tried Blogger (now it's really 4 days til we move)

But you're not playing nicey nice. What's the deal with everything that's become second nature to me in the last year being tossed to the curb. HUH? I know how to upload a freaken photo. I know how to change my settings. YOU'RE NOT LETTING ME. I'm breaking up with you. Via blog. Wordpress is smarter and I like smart. You have 4 days to perform a miracle and i am not going to upload that header one more effen time. I think we're moving here! (Sorry to confuse y'all) Sigh, I'll let you know when it's official.

Anyway, enough about me! Jack was very excited today because we had a big family party for his 6th birthday. He was wild as usual when a big crowd gathers. My brother was the last to arrive.

Jack: Hi Uncle John! Where's my present!

me: Jack! Come on, let him get in the door!

Jack: (whispering) but he always has a present.

me: Well you're spoiled then.

John: It's in the car, you'll have to wait a bit, okay?

Jack: Was that enough of a wait? Can I have it now?

me: Will you let him take his coat off and get something to eat?

Jack: (paces for 30 seconds) Come on EAT! How about now?

me: Sigh...

I can't believe how materialistic 5-year-olds are. Hahahah, did I just say that? That's funny. I wonder where he gets that from.

Okay, I gotta go now because I just got a big box of new clothes delivered and I can't wait to open it!

Friday, January 21, 2011

Don't put off til tomorrow... (5 days left here? Oh boy)

Then we're moving to our new 6-year-old digs. Come check it out next week!

I'm baking cupcakes for Jack's family birthday party tomorrow. We're home AGAIN because of the snow. At least it feels like a real winter, though it is highly inconvenient.

Jack: Can I have a cupcake today with a candle in it?

me: It's for tomorrow's party. AND you're not even going to be 6 until next week. Why don't you wait until everyone is here.

Jack: Mommmmm, you always say Don't put off until tomorrow those things that you can do today. THIS is one of those things.

me: (He got me on that one didn't he?)

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Cook with me!

Jack: Can I help cook dinner?

me: Oh, I could totally use help! What do you want to do?

Jack: Can I peel the carrots and do it all by myself with absolutely no help?

me: Okay, if you promise to be very careful and peel away from your hand. Can you do that?

Jack: I can do that. I can do anything.

me: Sigh. Here's how you peel. Follow exactly how I do it.

Jack: (reaches up with the peeler) Aaahhh!!!

me: Jack, don't itch your eye with the peeler in your hand. Put it down please. Sheesh.

Jack: I forgot. (peel, peel, peel)

me: Good, just like that.

Jack: GAH!! (the carrot goes flying)

me: Did it bite you?

Jack: No, I almost peeled my finger.

me: Hold it further back. Wait, do you want to just stop for now and I'll finish?

Jack: Mom, you didn't learn this the first time so let me just mess it up! Remember the teach a person to fish thing? Now I can peel carrots for my whole entire life!

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wordless Wednesday! (OMG only 1 week left at this url!)

Okay. Two things wrong with that title. First, the blog is about sh*t that Jack says. Soooo... And second, anyone that knows me knows that wordless = dead. I always have at least one word for something! But I'll try to keep it to a minimum. Just because.

Jack: Let's make a deal okay?

me: Hmmm, okaaayyy??

Jack: If I do something nice, and get a sticker on my reward chart, that equals an instant video. But, if I get TWO stickers, then I can do a video and computer. If I don't get any stickers, I'll be okay with nothing.

me: That's not our rule though. You fill the entire chart and get a prize. We have to catch you being good. You don't earn the stickers. Where's the incentive?

Jack: I don't know what you're saying, so come up and see how I cleaned my room. I'm sure that equals at least one sticker! Woohoo, videeeooooooo!

me: Sigh.

Bootcamp sunrise 7am!
Bella on the move and stoic Ed.
Jack moving really really fast.
Kitty Fort!
Could there BE any more snow?
View from our garage.
Jack goofing around in the kitchen.

What Daddy says when I'm not there...

Jack: I could tell that Daddy was mad at me and then at the cats.

me: How?

Jack: Ed was at his food bowl and Daddy pushed him out of the way to put the food in.

me: Oh, that's too bad. Ed is anxious to eat.

Jack: But he was really mad at me.

me: For what?

Jack: I don't know. Well, he was mad at me because he was mad at you.

me: Why was he mad at me?

Jack: Because you were late from your class and now he's late for work.

me: Oh.

Jack: And, Daddy called you a name.

me: He did, did he? What was it.

Jack: He said you were two peas in a pod. That sounds awful.

me: Wasn't he talking about us being two peas in a pod?

Jack: Oh no, it was very much directly at you.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Snow Day! (Again...) And 8 more days at this location!

We had to shovel for 2 1/2 hours this morning. Brutal. And we had to entertain a slightly sick 5-year-old who wanted to build forts and have a snowball fight. I had to get to work. I did not know it would take 5 minutes of discussion for each shovelful of snow that I lifted. I'm exhausted.

Jack: Mom come here!

me: I kind of have to finish this Jack, can you wait a minute?

Jack: Come look!

me: (trudge back up the steep driveway with my shovel) What? What???

Jack: Look, I found a leaf.

(this is all totally real...look, here's some more:)

Jack: Can we have a snowball fight?

me: Here (I biff him with snow and keep shoveling)

Jack: NOT fair! I wasn't ready and your snowball wasn't round!

me: I don't have the snowball maker. Look, I have to finish this first okay?

Jack: I can't make snowballs because there's ice on top!

me: Dig down to where it's soft.

Jack: Can you do it?

me: (I whack a big chunk of ice off the snow). There ya go. Dig away.

Jack: (struggles for a minute) There's no snow out heeeerrrrrrreeeeee!

me: (standing in a 4-ft. bank of snow) Really?

(few minutes later:)

Jack: Can I help shovel?

me: Grab the small shovel and come on up. (onto the deck)

Jack: (grabs a shovel and stands right in front of me to start digging) There's too much snow here.

me: That's why we're shoveling. You're in my way.

Jack: No. You're in MY way.

me: Sigh.

Jack: Forget it. I'll go down here and make snowballs again.

me: Come on Jack, don't play exactly where I'm throwing the snow. Please go over there! Sheesh.

Jack: But I want to play HERE, where the snow is all soft from you throwing it!

me: Move or go in. You have a choice.

Jack: Can you put my mittens back on? They're all filled with snow. (he stands with two crusty mittens clutched in his bare hands.)

me: Sob.

Jack: I'm thirsty too.

And now do you wonder why it takes an additional hour to shovel the snow, even when I had so much "help" from a 5-year-old? I could shovel for hours. It was the arguing and pleading that I couldn't stand for another minute. Fingers crossed that school is open tomorrow. :)

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Things only a mother could understand.

I know that all moms go through this. You need a computer's worth of data at your fingertips constantly, just to be able to keep up with and process all that a 5-year-old can throw at you. Here are a few sentences that I've heard, and had to understand. Today. I also decided to decipher some of them for you. Why make you work at it just because I worked at it since 7am??

1. "If you're looking for my tongue depressor, I found it under the seat."

(Jack has a robust collection of wooden sticks from various doctor's offices around the area. They turn up in the darndest places.)

2. "Well I told them that I had lost my mom and then they went on the loudspeaker. I couldn't see you anymore."

(At Trader Joe's today. Jack said he was going to watch the coffee grinder in action. I told him I'd be right "here" and then he wandered away and couldn't find me. There was a fun announcement over the intercom alluding to the fact that I might be the one that was lost.)

3. "Where did I put my lightsaber...I can't find it!"

(I was asked this about 7 or 8 times today. I gave the same answer. It's right wherever you left it. I have become my parents.)

4. "Are you playing war or not? Go grab your thing."

(By "thing" he means "hockey stick" which is what we use as a gun when we play war. I'm not even sure why.)

5. "Mom, remember, we're in C-O-L-L-E-G-E. Don't tell Dad."

(Whenever we eat, Jack likes to play college cafeteria. We ask each other how much our meals cost and sometimes Jack likes to dole out the food like a lunch lady.)

6. "Can you fix my sliding door!!! I can't get into the back room!"

(We played restaurant yesterday and I rigged two big pieces of cardboard so that we could push through them like swinging doors. Jack would serve food to me and then rush into the back room for the sauce or some other item that I told him he had forgotten.)

7. "I am not wearing that. Get my silky pants!"

(Jack loves track pants that feel silky. Just try and get him out of them. I have to hide them.)

8. "I really think everyone should have a magic 8 ball."

(We were shopping for his party. Jack wanted everyone to have a magic 8 ball in their goody bag. It would have cost me $30 in magic 8 balls alone. And they were about 1" in diameter. Couldn't even read them.)

9. "Can we do the Hot Cross Buns thing?"

(This was a game we played when Jack was really little. I would lay on the floor with my knees bent. Jack would slide down my knees and crush my lungs. It was fun. Then he started singing Hot Cross Buns as he did it. Now the game can be lethal since he passed the 50-lb. mark.)

10.  "I don't want fish on my bagel, but I'll have some lox please."

(He still gets confused. He knows it's salmon. But if I call it lox, he will eat a ton of it. Call it fish, and he'll want none of it.)

Look! Top 100 Blogs!

And in a few days it will all reset back to zero because I'm changing my blog title. Oh well. I didn't do it for the fame and glory, did I? I did it to empty my head of all these stories and be able to talk like an adult again.

Look! Proof!

Saturday, January 15, 2011


Just when you think your child is maturing, and really getting some street smarts, they do some really stupid sh*t. You think the age has passed for putting fingers in electrical sockets, drinking plant food from under the sink, sticking arms down into a flushing toilet...but nooooo. Not that Jack has done any of those things. But he did do these things:

me: Just one more thing and then we can leave the store. Do you see chocolate chips?

Jack: Over here! Can I pick out a bag?

me: Sure. (I notice he's ruffling around under all the bags of chips) What are you doing?

Jack: Nothing!

me: Well, I'm grabbing a bag of chips and let's go now.

Jack: (shoving something into his mouth) Mmpphh okayyy.

me: What did you just eat??!!

Jack: (stops short) Uh, a chocolate chip?

me: Whaatt??? You don't even know what you put in your mouth?

Jack: It was a chocolate chip I'm pretty sure.

me: I can't believe you ripped open a bag???!! (some shoppers are looking at us now)

Jack: No no, I didn't Mom, It was UNDER the bags on the shelf.

me: I don't even know how to respond to that. What if someone had spit that out on the shelf and here you come along and put it in your mouth. What if it was garbage?

Jack: I didn't really think about that.

me: Sigh.

Oh and then there was this other thing that Jack did today. Really? Yes.

Jack: Can I have my old M&M dispenser to play with? I want to put toys in it.

me: Here. But don't put anything in it because it's only for candy.

Jack: (shaking it) Why does it rattle?

me: It's the spinny mechanism for the candy. Stop shaking it. And do not put anything in there.

Jack: (pulling a friendship bracelet out of the dispenser tray) Oops I already put this through. It didn't get stuck though!

me: Great, now don't put anything else in there. (I walk into the bathroom)

Jack: Victory! (I hear him come running into the bathroom)

me: What happened?

Jack: (chewing) I just found an old M&M in here!

me: So you ate it.

Jack: Uh yeah?

And then there was this other thing today. I think 6 is going to be a scary year for me. Can't let my guard down for a second. I can already feel it.

Jack: Oh I have a great idea. I want to cut my hair.

me: Yeah? You want a short hair cut?

Jack: No. I want to cut it. Myself.

me: No no nonononooooo. We never cut our own hair. (Unless you're Nancy, but that's another story!)

Jack: But I think I can do it!

me: NO, do not ever cut your own hair. You're gonna mess it all up and have bald patches on it. Promise me you won't!

Jack: Fine. But maybe when I'm older I'll try.

That's why there are so many 6-year-olds out there with horrendous hair cuts. It all started with a little misguided enthusiasm regarding sharp cutting instruments. And this was mostly all in one day over here. Imagine what will happen tomorrow? I'll be sure to tell you all about it.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Step Aside! (Remember...on the 26th you won't find us here!)

We'll be here!

Last night I told Jack to make sure he behaved at school, got a great report and stayed under the radar.

Jack: Why do I need to do that?

me: What normally happens when you get a bad report from school?

Jack: I can't do anything like watch a video or go on the computer.

me: Is that any fun?

Jack: No.

me: Sooo, if you have a great day, what do you think will happen?

Jack: I can watch a video?

me: Yep.

Jack: I can go on the computer?

me: Yep again.

Jack: What about both?

me: If you get a great report, I'll let you go on my laptop while you're watching TV. How's that?

Jack: Really?

me: Yeah, you just get off that bus and say "Step aside Mom!" and then grab the TV remote. Then I'll know you mean business.

(3:45 this afternoon at the bus stop)

me: Hi sweetie!

Jack: Step aside MOM!

me: Huh?

Jack: Good report! Now step aside!

me: Well, we kinda have to be IN the house. But good for you!

He wasn't going to let me forget THAT promise, now was he???

Say What?? (12 days til the sh*t turns 6!)

And you'll have to go here to see what he says!

Jack: I guess my friends got droved to school.

me: Driven.

Jack: No, they drove.

me: No, they didn't drive themselves, they were driven.

Jack: They didn't driven themselves Mom, that makes no sense.

me: No, I said they WERE driven.

Jack: Well you don't know that. Maybe they drove themselves.

me: They're 6.

Jack: So.

me: Sigh.

Welcome to my morning. I have a headache.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Stuck at home.

Really stuck. Over 2 feet of snow came down. We have not yet been plowed out of our own driveway. I tried to shovel. Hahahahahahaaaaaaa. No. Not happening. We have a VERY long, VERY steep driveway. Just not happening. So we were stuck inside 90% of the day. In the morning, Jack helped put away the silverware from the dishwasher...

Jack: Why are you letting me put away the sharpest of knives???

me: Just point them away from you.

Jack: Instead of sticking them in my arm??

me: Yeah.

We finished up and I took a good look at him. Wearing mis-matched clothes, hair sticking up like a punk rocker.

me: Jack, what's with that hair-do?

Jack: Who knows. I think Daddy gave me a bad hairbrush last night. He's a weirdo.

We played so many games I can't even keep track. Jack still sometimes has a 5-minute attention span. We did spin art. You put the little disc of paper in the round tray and push down on the spinner. Then you drip the paint onto the paper and make designs as it spins. He made one picture and then said that's it! We started cleaning up when he pulled out the aqua sand. Cool stuff. You get a clear bucket of water and put this sand stuff in it. It acts like play-doh under water and you can squish it and build things. As soon as you lift it out, it turns back into totally dry sand. That also lasted 5 minutes. Takes longer to clean this up. We played Star Wars, of course, then we played a small board game that came in one of Jack's magazines.

Jack: Are you ready to play, Missezzzzz?

me: Why are you calling me that?

Jack: That's your name. Mrs.

me: Sigh. Let's play.

Jack: (in a deep voice) One will stand, one will FALL!!!

me: We're playing a game about finding a dog's socks. Is it really that dramatic?

Jack: Just shush and play, Missezzzz....

Now he's taking a bath. Dennis is helping. I'm sitting in bed typing. Ahhhh.

Jack: Is it time to get out??

Dennis: Let me check the time...(he comes out and sees me) Oh look at you enjoying life out here. Jack, time to get out.

Jack: Can we have dessert?

Dennis: What do you think, this is a hotel?

Jack: Of course it is. It's run by Mrs. Mommy!

me: Sigh.

(I can still hear them talking)

Jack: What does FDA stand for?

Dennis: Food and Drug Administration.

Jack: Nope. It's the Fart Detection Agency.

Dennis: Huh? Ew, Jack what did you do!??? Gross!

Jack: hahahahahahaha

Love Note Part 2 (14 days til blah blah)

So this is starting to read like a soap opera. See yesterday's post for part 1. Jack got off the bus and I could hardly wait to ask him!

me: Soooo? Did you give Megan the note?

Jack: Yeah. But not at lunch.

me: No? Why not?

Jack: I left it in class.

me: And...?

Jack: I asked (for lack of a better name) her teacher Mrs. Brookstone if it was okay if I gave Megan a note and she said it was okay.

me: Where did you see Mrs. Brookstone?

Jack: At lunch.

me: Um. So then when did you give her the note?

Jack: In her class.

me: Details please.

Jack: I asked MY teacher if I could go to Mrs. Brookstone's class to deliver a note to Megan. She said after I finished my morning work.

me: Really? She let you huh? (I'm amazed at the workings of a first grade class)

Jack: Yeah, I had to bring a friend.

me: Wow, it was a whole deal. So you went to her class and saw the teacher?

Jack: No, I just went and found Megan.

me: And then you gave the note to her?

Jack: No, the teacher saw me and I gave the note to the teacher to give to Megan.

me: So did she?

Jack: Yeah.

me: (resting my chin in my hands, all engrossed) So did Megan open it??

Jack: Noooooo, because there are PEOPLE around and they would probably laugh, so it was good that she didn't open it.

me: Why would they laugh?

Jack: Because they don't know what that note is about. (he spells) M-A-R-R-Y...

me: But you're 5 and you know about it, so why wouldn't the older kids know about it?

Jack: They just don't. That's why I decided on the bus this morning that I wouldn't give it to her at lunch. Too many people. They wouldn't understand.

me: Wow. Hmm. You're a piece of work Jack, I'll give ya that.

Jack: I wonder when she'll give it back to me?

me: She may not, so just be prepared.

Jack: Oh I'm prepared all right. Ha!

That's literally how he talks. I'm not sure what else to do about this, but I'll let it play out and then try to dissuade him from further stalkings I guess. Right? I sometimes need to shout this out loud...HE'S ONLY 5 YEARS OLD! 5!! Okay, soon to be six, but I mean Come ON!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Love Note...

(forgot to post last night...and sending through email...I still love
this feature!)

I'm not sure if I handled this the right way. In fact, I probably
didn't...but he's FIVE for Pete's sake. What would you do. Seriously.
Tell me.

Jack: Sighhhhhhh...

me: What's wrong?

Jack: It's just that...I have to think about this girl all the time.
It's hard to think of other things...

me: Who is this?

Jack: Megan. From my Tae Kwon Do class?

me: Ohhhh. What do you think about her?

Jack: Remember Mom, I want to (whispers) marry her...

me: Still? Well that's really nice sweetie.

Jack: I just have to find out if she'll marry me.

me: Why don't you ask her?

Jack: (looks stricken) Wha? No! I have to write her a note and ask her
to check the box, then I'll know. (he runs his hand through his hair
and it's all sticking up...)

me: Ohhh, okay, do you want to write her a note?

Jack: Yeah, can you help me?

me: Here's some paper. Just write whatever you want to say...

Jack: (writes this) Dear Megan. I want to marry you someday. Do you
want to? YES NO Please return to Jack at lunch.

me: (wondering if I should let him give this note to Megan...) Ummm,
it's very well written Jack. Are you sure you want to give her a note?

Jack: Oh yes! The only thing I'm worried about is whether or not
she'll understand the check boxes. What if she thinks that checking
YES means that she's crossing OUT yes and she really means NO?

me: (oh boy) No honey, I think she will know to check yes if she means
yes. But what if she checks no? Are you okay with that?

Jack: Why would she check no? We talk all the time!

me: I'm just saying...

I think I'm going to put a stop to the note writing. Something tells
me that this borders on stalking? ha ha. We all passed notes in
school, but I don't think I started until I was at least 8 or 9.
Aren't there laws in place now for notes. Like a zero tolerance note
passing law? Sheesh, I don't know. Poor kid. He's so worried about
this! I can't wait to see what happens. My own little soap opera.

Monday, January 10, 2011

This Morning...

Jack: can I watch a video?
Me: after you get dressed.
Jack: why do you always make these tricky things to do before I do anything!!!???

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Au Contraire Mon Frere (17 days til the move!)

Though he's my son, not my frere...but he's Soooo Contrary! It's like no matter what I say, he says NO without even thinking about it. Don't you hate that??? It's maddening I tell you!

me: Jack, here are your clothes to change into (he was just outside and came in all wet from the snow)

Jack: I'm not wearing THAT shirt!

me: It's the one you had on before... what's the problem now?

Jack: It's a SCHOOL shirt (he rips the shirt out of my hand and heads upstairs)

me: Yeah, come on back down and have a seat. 5 minutes. We don't rip things out of Mommy's hand and act all rude.

Jack: Sigh...

(5 minutes later)

me: You can go get a new shirt if you don't like that one.

Jack: That's what I was doing.

me: (determined to have the last word) Then you should be all set.

Jack: I know!

me: Good, hurry up then. (ha)

He comes back down all dressed. Doesn't look much different than what I had picked for him, but the difference is HE picked it.

me: Do you want to play your new game with me and Daddy?

Jack: You guys can play, I'll just watch.

me: Well it will be more fun if you play too...

Jack: No! You two play and I'll watch!

me: We're not playing unless we all play. We'll find something we can all do together. Let's go use your new bumper car remotes.

Jack: Let's play up here

me: You know I don't want them smashing the walls up here, so we keep them downstairs.

Jack: No! I want them up here!

me: We go downstairs or we don't play.

Jack: Fine, whatever... (another time out for being rude)

me: Ready to go play?

Jack: Okay, I'll play with Daddy... (There are only 2 cars...)

me: Good, I'll play on the scooter while you guys play cars.

Jack: I want to go on the scooter!

me: But you're playing cars with Daddy...

Jack: But I really want to play on the scooter...

me: Sigh...

How much can one person take. I almost want to give an instant time out for the word NO. It's really all he says. Do you want this for a snack? No. Do you want to go to the store? No. Can you set the table? In a minute... Grrrrrrrr!

We've started instant time outs for rudeness and non-compliance. No more warnings. He's old enough to know what to do and say without a warning. Sorry Jack, it's actually our way or the highway! :)

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Total Destruction! New Follower! 18 days til my little sh*t turns 6!

See? A lot can happen in one day. First a shout to my new follower, Lindsay, who single handedly rounded out my follower squares! I love nice even numbers!

Second, we had a nice juicy snow storm yesterday, leaving us with ( I love to round up ) about 2 feet of snow. Please correct me. Was it 18 inches? Not sure but it was deep. We had a ton of fun, cold fun that is, making and throwing snowballs with Jack's snowball maker. We also (okay it was Uncle John) made a snow block wall to house our snowball fight. That never really happened, so we then sledded for a bit until Jack got bossy. What? Jack bossy? Neverrrrrrrr... He had to be "asked" to go and have some alone time. It's probably a combo of having his favorite Uncle over to play, us not giving him as much attention as we should, and's a Saturday night? Poor Jack. He had quite a few time outs for back talk. Very sassy he is when Uncle is around!

I went up to his room to see what he was doing. I thought he was playing video games with Dennis and John, but they pointed up the stairs...

me: Hey Jack, whatcha doin?

Jack: (clipping together some magnetic blocks that he has) I'm making total destruction.

me: Oh. Do you know what that is?

Jack: It's when everything is destroyed.

me: (damned if his little structure didn't resemble a mushroom cloud) What do you want to destroy?

Jack: Everything. Maybe furniture.

me: That doesn't sound very nice does it?

Jack; That's why it's called Total Destruction.

Should I be worried? Call someone? Jack proceeded to bring his "structure" downstairs and place it on the couch behind aforementioned gamers. Hmmm...

Friday, January 7, 2011

You can try to not be so rude tomorrow (19 days til new blog!)

So yeah, again I must remind you, we're switching it up to some 6-year-old sh*t on Jan. 26. I do hope you will follow me over to our new home. Please watch your step!

Jack and I had a good day, playing, watching some videos, playing some more, eating, putting on a fake concert complete with indoor bus ride to the show. It was that kind of day. We were in good spirits. Towards the end of the night it sort of fell apart. Jack got mouthy and there were threats when he wouldn't turn off his video when I said. So we headed up to bed with a few whines, tears and snotty huffs. Those were all him by the way.

me: (tucking him in) Goodnight Jack. We have two more days left to play!

Jack: Goodnight.

And as usual, I'm at the door and we exchange "I love you's" and some loud kissing noises. And a few meows for Stripey.

Jack: Oh...

me: What?

Jack: And you can try not to be so rude tomorrow!

Not much I can say to that. I shut the door and laugh as I tell Dennis the latest news from our little darling boy. :)

And... here are a few shots from the previous snow storm...I'm so behind in photo posting!



After! Damn thing hit me right in my ear!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Comfortably Numb (and also: 20 days til new blog!)

That describes how I feel right about now. Not the 20 days part. Har har. I had bootcamp yesterday...TKD last night...TKD tonight...and bootcamp again tomorrow. Yeesh. I could just sit and stare for hours and be perfectly fine. Was sick for awhile and (oh crap hold on while I go take my antibiotic!)...okay then, I'm back. So...what...? Yeah I'm just numb, but in a good way I think.

Jack has been a little off also this week. Yesterday he went to school with his pants on backwards. None of us noticed it until after he got home. Oh we cracked up at that. Then, Jack got ready for bed and came down with his shirt on backwards. I mean really. He hasn't done that since he was 2. He has also been very very sleepy lately. And, ironically, not hungry, which would indicate yet another growth spurt and bout of evil manners.

So, somethings brewing. Jack was sick also, but his just lingered and lingered until we took it for granted and stopped paying attention to all the green snot. When he blew his nose and nothing came out, it was THEN that I was worried. I was so used to the snot.

me: Jack blow your nose.

Jack: I don't have to.

me: (absently, as I did something else) Yeah you do, here...blow. (I held the tissue out randomly towards his nose, on autopilot)

Jack: Really I don't!

me: Blow.

Jack: (blows his nose, but only air comes out)

me: Gasp! Are you okay. Maybe blow harder? (I feel his forehead)

Jack: There's nothing in there Mom.

me: Hmm, that's so weird. You always have stuff in there. (It's been a month of boogers, really. I kind of miss them now)

Jack: Just because you have a little stuffy nose you don't have to take it out on me you know!

me: Nice.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Just a Tuesday...(t-minus 22 days til the new blog!)

Eh, if I get the math wrong on that, don't hate. It's happening on the 26th of this month. Day AFTER the big birthday on the 25th. Are we straight?

Today is Tuesday. Nothing much happens on Tuesdays. We had Jack's friend Gavin over for a brief play date. That always keeps things interesting. There was more of this, and a little of that happening in all rooms of my house, while Gavin's mom and I tried to talk in the kitchen.

But waiting for them to arrive was like being in an Israeli torture camp.

Jack: When are they going to BE here!

me: Jack, his bus doesn't even drop him off for 15 more minutes.

Jack: It's going to drop him off here??

me: Uh, no, at his house. Then...

Jack: (interrupts) AW then they have to drive all the way here??

me: They can't fly can they?

Jack: (gives me an icy look) Can't you call them?

me: Let me see if she texted me. (read read read) She said they're on the way.

Jack: What street did she say they're on?

me: She didn't. Honey you have to be patient. He'll be here in a few minutes. Why don't you get your homework sheet out of the way first.


me: Don't shout. He's not here YET!

Jack: I'll do it later. (looks at the clock). Where are they NOW??

me: Sweetie, calm down, okay. Let's have a quick snack and then they'll be here.

Jack: (starts to eat some cookies and milk, when he hears a car door) WOOOO they're here! (his plate flips up spraying crumbs everywhere)

Gavin flings the door open, which is broken so it just sort of slammed against the house outside. His entrances are always Kramer-like from Seinfeld. They say hi, exchange some Christmas gifts, fling them on the floor and tear off to destroy literally 4 rooms in the house. Ah, boys. Can't live without em...

Monday, January 3, 2011

Why we can't move until after 5th grade...

Jack: Mom, you can't move from this house until after I'm in 5th grade. No wait, until after I've finished 5th grade. Okay?

me: Why's that?

Jack: Because the bus will never know where to pick me up at a new house! In 6th grade I go to a new school.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Last day of vacay (and t-minus 23 days and counting til the new blog!)

Now, some of you said you'd follow me. You promised. We'll be moving to Sh*t my 6-year-old says on January 26, 2011! If you don't find us here, you'll have to go looking over there. :) Which reminds me that I have to design a new header for that blog! Never enough time in the day, eh?

Jack is upstairs still worrying about school tomorrow. He gets angsty at the end of a weekend, nevermind an extended winter vacation! Mondays are always rough for him. I hope he has a great (read: nothing happens!) day.

Jack: Ohhhh, tomorrow is school and I HATE school because I'm learning the same stuff over and over and I already know everything.

me: Okaayyyy... Well then you'll have to be a detective and see if you can find the one little thing that you learn tomorrow that is new. Can you be an excellent detective?

Jack: That's boring. I want to be in college.

me: You kind of have to finish first grade first before they let you into college.

Jack: No, I want to pretend that I'm in college now.

me: Ok, that's even better. When you're in college you have great manners, you sit quietly when the teacher is teaching and you act VERY mature.

Jack: I can do that, it's easy.

me: Hmmm. Do you really think so? And can you see if there is anything new you learn tomorrow? You can let me know okay?

Jack: Of course. It's so easy. I know everything already so that if something new happens I'll notice it right away.

me: Good. Report back to me at the end of the day.

Jack: Are you in college too?

me: Do you want me to be?

Jack: Yes, or else I won't have anyone to teach the new stuff to.

me: Oh.

Goodbye 2010 (and t-minus 24 days and counting til the new blog!)

January 1, 2010. We spent it in NYC! Should have done that today...
Gangsta in February!
And later that day...head band cute!
A trip to Disney in March!
We did lots of traveling in 2010. In April we headed to Florida again!
Jack and I did a lot of pottery in May last year. Here's Ed!
And Bella!
Who could forget a June graduation from Kindergarten. Not me!
In July Jack learned how to swim. I was so proud of him that day!
Of course Jack started Tae Kwon Do in August. He's earned a white belt and a yellow belt!
Crazy on the first day of school!

We loved to spend time in the beautiful September sunshine!
October in the Cape. Jack watches hula hoopers intently!
We lost a few things in November. Jack's first tooth and then the second one!
Jack is always very sweet with the kitties. Ed loves the attention.
Jack and his stocking on Christmas morning. :) A good end to a good year!