Saturday, July 31, 2010

Happiness Is...

Not hearing a peep from Jack until I had to wake him at 8:07 a.m!

Having Jack say "No matter what the swim teacher says, I will NOT go off the diving board until I'm twenty-hundred years old!" Then during the swim class, hearing the teacher ask if anyone was brave enough to jump off the diving board, and hearing Jack answer "Well, you're gonna have a problem with me!" And THEN having him try it and LOVE it and then beg to dive again and again.

It's getting 2 solid hours to myself afterwards, meeting up with the guys at home, and watching Jack literally inhale a HUGE salad and cottage cheese because he was starving.

Jack: MMMMmmmmmmm! (belly rubbing motions) More cheese! More grapes! More dressing! (he loves lots of "stuff" in his salad). Oh that was gooooooo--OOOODDDDD!

It's the little things that start the day off right! :)

Friday, July 30, 2010

Morning Walks are for the birds

Jack is obsessed with my workouts. He hates when I leave in the morning, even though he's asleep, and hates even talking about it the night before. So, after I realized that maybe he's feeling a little left out, I decided to have "family walk" days. These could be the opposite days of my bootcamp, which takes place M, W, F. Jack and I set out yesterday morning, trying to beat the pending rainstorm. Daddy was busy getting ready for work.

me: Which way do you want to go? (said at the bottom of our driveway)
Jack: Ummmm, right! We never go this way. Let's go all the way to Gavin's house!
me: Too far, and he's not back from Florida yet...soooo...
Jack: Let's run! We'll do a bootcamp!
me: Oh no, today is a NO run day. I do not even want to walk fast.
Jack: Then I'll run to the next mailbox. (He takes off)

It's then that I notice how tall and lanky he's gotten. He must have grown about 3 inches in the last 3 months. His face is losing that baby fullness, awww, and his eyes look older and more serious. I see a real boy in there! I notice he's crouched by the sewer in that squat-sit that all kids can master, the position that I can hardly get out of once I'm down in it!

Jack: I need a rock!
me: Here.
Jack: Ker-PLOP! (He chucks it in the sewer and waits for the wet plop when it hits water)
me: Oh, and here's a worm
Jack: I'll take it! I'll take it! (He gently picks it up and puts it in the soft dirt)
me: That's really nice of you Jack.
Jack: (jumps up and stomps on something) Ugh!
me: Whaaattt!
Jack: Red ant
me: I don't think we have red ants over here.
Jack: Well it was some kind of ant, and now it's dead.
me: Oh Jack look at that. (I point to the sky where a little flock of yellow birds are twittering by)
Jack: What is it?
me: See the little yellow birds? They live on this hill right here. I think there are certain flowers that they like, because I always see them when I run. Let's look them up in my bird book.
Jack: They're Goldfinches.
me: What? That is a very good guess! How do you know that?
Jack: Do they have little black stripes on their heads?
me: Uh, yeah I think so.
Jack: Goldfinch. I remember it from my Highlights magazine.

I've been studying birds for many years and I wasn't even completely sure what type of bird that was. Really? A 5-year-old knows? Turns out, he was right.

We finished our walk holding hands. A few more rocks made it into the sewer system, a few more worms will live to see another day, and we made it up the steep, steep driveway just as it began raining. All in all, the family walk was a big success. Next time, hopefully Daddy can join us.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Laughing it up

Jack and I are goofballs. We have an almost identical sense of humor. He cracks me up at least once a day, like full out belly laughing. Generally it's his observations that get me going, or his delivery, or his ability to mimic me or Dennis, complete with facial expressions. He may have a future as a stand-up comic, though that wasn't in his top 10 potential jobs list. Here are some highlights.

Jack: Mom, let's try to kiss like fish.
me: What the heck does that mean?
Jack: Make this face first (he sucks his cheeks way in and lets his lips stick out)
me: (starting to chuckle) Like this?
Jack: Ha ha, no wait, I can do it. (except he can't of course because you cannot do that face and smile, let alone laugh)
me: Okay, straight face and let's go! (Now I'm determined...we both make the fish lips and come at each other. Nope, both start cracking up. See what I mean?)

Tonight we were driving in my car. I was humming what I thought was a mindless tune.

Jack: Why did you just say "bad boys"?
me: Huh? Oh I was singing this song "bad boys bad boys whatcha gonna do, whatcha gonna do when they come for you."
Jack: What IS that?
me: It's from a show called COPS. The bad guys run away but the cops always catch them. (now Jack is starting to pick up the lyrics and sing along)
Jack: You know what I saw that was really funny?
me: No idea.
Jack: A t-shirt that said "It's all fun and games until someone calls the cops", and now I know what it means.
me: (brief pause and then I bust out laughing) Oh that is good!
Jack: (now also belly laughing) Who would even want that on their shirt?? hahahahaha.

And the other night I was reading Jack a bedtime story. I always get soooo sleepy when I read to him, and I can't help but yawn like every 30 seconds.

me: ...and if you give a mouse some milk, he's ... GAAArrrrrrwwwwwwwwww! ...gonna want a cookie to go with it. What's so funny??
Jack: hahahaha did you hear yourself? You sounded like a siren. BAAAAAAAWWWWWWWW!
me: I did? I guess I am really tired and ... YAWWWWWWWW!  See? Can't help it. Was it too loud? Sorry.
Jack: (still laughing, and it's becoming contagious) You never yawn quietly, it's always like a siren! hahahaha.
me: (of course now I'm laughing) Let's hear you yawn! (and we proceed to make the most obnoxious yawning sounds until we can't breathe from all the laughing)

I know, nice way to wind a kid up before bed. But it was funny! And, I cannot make myself yawn quietly. See? Didn't you just hear that one?

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Potty Talk

Some, no, all of Jack's favorite expressions involve body parts or bodily fluids or some combo of the two. The grosser the better. Anyone have any tips on stopping this? Aside from "wait til he's old enough to move out". Yeah thanks.

Jack: Fart, fart, fart, crap your butt...(he's sort of singing this absent-mindedly)
me: Sigh. Jack stop with the potty talk please.
Jack: Just because you're crapping doesn't mean...
me: Jack! Sheesh!
Jack: (stops quickly) That's not bad, Mom.
me: Yes, it's nasty and I don't want to hear it.
Jack: But what if I want to hear it.
me: (now I can't resist) You want to hear about everyone crapping in their pants and farting all day long? How is that good??
Jack: (cracking up) Ah haha, you said crap!
me: (trying not to laugh now, and still lay down the law) It's okay to be funny once in awhile, but when I say stop, I mean stop. Got it?
Jack: (has to get one more in) Okay, I will stop saying Fart and Crap and Butt and Crap your Butt, and ...
me: Jaaaackkkkk...
Jack: (thinks for a minute) How about poop? Hm?
me: Sigh...

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Back-seat Driver

Whenever Jack and I are in the car together, there's a constant jibber-jabber that comes from the back seat. Jack likes to talk. That much we know. What you maybe didn't know is that he likes to have an uninterrupted monologue, and the car is the perfect spot. I'm preoccupied with driving and generally let him ramble on until I'm asked a direct question. Today I actually paid attention to most of the ramblings, and it was pretty entertaining. Albeit mostly non-sequitur, but hey, he's still only 5.

Jack: Mom, the light is red. Aren't you going to cut through the gas station?
me: Nahh, I'm good. Those cars are in the way, anyway.
Jack: Just go over the curb.

Jack: Oh no, I forgot to tell Cameren that I do have a spider man shirt. Man...When I lean wayyy over like this I can see the sky upside down and it looks like the ground is blue. wooaaahhhh...

Jack: I could use some music? Yeah?
me: Oh, sorry, I'll put something on. (I turned on the iPod. Boston.)
Jack: Reverse! Gas! Music! More than a feeling! (Jack is quoting Madagascar when the penguins steal the jeep. Good memory! And a damn funny scene.)

Jack: I know this is where your phone always goes dead. When we get home can I use your computer?
me: Jack that's 8 hours from now. We haven't even gotten to school yet.
Jack: I just didn't want to forget...I love the curious George video when he says "George, return the headgear!" hahahahahahaha. That is the funniest. Are we almost there? Ohhh, park in the front spot if you can~!

Jack: So I wonder if tomorrow I can sleep forever? I was soooo tired this morning. Oh and today we're going swimming. Yayyyyy. But I may have to rest. Did you say Uncle John has a new house? Where is it? I'm not ever going to move out of our house Mommy. Can I stay there forever?
me: Yes, you can stay forever if you want to. But, when you turn 20, you may want to move out just like Uncle John did.
Jack: Did he tell Grandpa he was moving out?
me: I believe he had to.
Jack: I'll tell you if I ever want to move out. But I probably won't ever want to. That's okay. We'll do stuff until I'm 100.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Jack's Top 10

Jack and I ate dinner on the deck tonight. Oh, what a nice breeze we had! It's been about 3 or 4 weeks since the "heat" arrived, and it hasn't let up once. This is the first time we even got to open the windows and let some fresh air in the stale house!

Anyway, we were on the deck eating. Dennis wasn't home yet. We started talking about things that Jack could be when he grows up. He loves the idea of going to college and being able to study "whatever you want to without the teacher telling you what to do."

Jack's Top 10 Jobs He Will Pursue After College:

10. Violinist
9. Artist
8. Garbage Man
7. Construction Worker
6. Bird Watcher
5. Zoo Keeper
4. Bull Fighter
3. EMS Worker
2. Astronaut
Jack: Mom don't write down Fire Fighter because it's too scary. So I'll pick a different one
me: Gotcha
1. Landscaper (as long as I can use a woodchipper)

Then we got on the subject of coins and wishes.

me: What if you had 10 coins and each one could buy one thing, and it could be whatever you wanted!
Jack: Oh this is easy!

10. Car
9. Pogo Stick
8. Video Game
7. Pet Snake
6. Plant Cactus
5. House
4. Food Market
3. Gas Station
2. New Clothes
1. Misting Fan (to keep cool on the deck)

I really think he has everything covered!

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Typical Morning with Jack version 5.5

I must make that announcement again. Jack is 5 1/2 today. He's very excited. I told him that 5 and a half year olds have excellent manners and always do what their Mom's say. Jack said: Hm.

(6:20) Awake!
Jack: Mommmeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh! (repeat as necessary until I stagger up the stairs and into his room) I had a good night-night.
me: Awww, that's good.
Jack: Now can I go on your computer to
me: Really?
Jack: Yeah.
me: Sigh, okay, for a bit.

(6:45) Hungry!
Jack: Can you make me breakfast while I finish this video? (Curious George still provides entertainment value on this particular site)
me: Okay...we're having Cheerios and blueberries, fyi.
Jack: (vaguely) okay...

(6:55) Not That!
Jack: I didn't want thaaattttt!
me: I asked, you said okay, I made it, you're having it.
Jack: (mopey) Sigh, I wanted oatmeal.
me: Then next time please ask for oatmeal.
(He promptly ate the entire bowl and declared that it was delicious. Is contrary just written into the DNA at this age??)

(7:20) Wake Daddy!
Jack: Can we do a family walk? Let's wake up Daddy.
me: You go ahead with that.
Jack: Uh, how about we play for a few minutes then go on the walk.
me: Okay. I'll be right back...(run to the bathroom)

(7:30) Dennis awake?
Dennis: You didn't hear him screaming?
me: I was in the bathroom...
Jack: (in the other bathroom) Mommmeeeeeeee... my tummy hurts.
me: Okay, maybe it was that meatball sub from last night. No more meatballs!

(7:45) Family Walk!
Jack: It's so very hot out. I don't want to go too far.
me: Should we turn around now?
Jack: No, let's go all the way down so I can walk on the wall and see the bees. (that's about a mile away)
me: Okaaayyyy.
Dennis: He shouldn't be outside in this heat. He won't be able to breathe later.
me: Probably not. (when we got home, Jack needed his inhaler) Sigh.

(9:00) Crafts!
Jack: (pulled 50 things out of the "craft" cabinet, all over the floor) I want to make something!
me: Okay, but let's put some of this away so we don't trip
Jack: (runs to the counter with some supplies) Oh I can't. I'm already making something!
me: Nice. (so we made some fun pictures with popsicle sticks, beads, stickers and glue)

(10:00) Moon Sand!
Jack: I got out the moon sand while you were cleaning up the beads and stuff. Look!
me: (yikes) Okay let's get the mat under there. (we set up in the hallway so we'd have some room. Have any of you ever used moon sand before? It gets everywhere!)
Jack: Help me make a big pyramid!
me: I will, but let's keep all the sand in the tray here.
Jack: Then why are we using this mat? Isn't that supposed to catch the messes?
me: (stumped me again)

(10:30) Snack!
(my old trick...if you just put a plate of veggies and dip in front of a hungry child, they will most likely gobble up half of it before they know what hit them.)
Jack: Yum! More dip please! Heyyyy, I wanted some cheese!
me: No problem, you can have both. (carrots, red pepper, green beans, cheddar cheese and a peach all made a great snack)

The next hour or so ended up with us in a cycle of sorts. Jack wanted to use the computer again. I said no, maybe after lunch. He said he just had lunch. I said that was a snack. He said he wanted to use the computer, I said no, etc, etc. It escalated a bit and there were 2 time outs given.

me: Do you think 5 1/2 year olds get time outs?
Jack: Everyone should get time outs.
me: What I mean is, don't you think you should listen to what I say and then you'll end up getting what you want anyway? If you argue, do you get what you want?
Jack: Nope.
me: Then why do you do it?
Jack: I don't know how to stop. Oh, can I use the computer NOW?????
me: Sigh. Let's go read a few books and calm down... (so we read some Toot and Puddle)

(12:00) Pool!
Dennis: Hey Jack, do you want to go to the pool with me and we'll let Mommy have a break?
Jack: Yayyyyy! Mommy does need a break from me.
me: (ha ha) Whew.

And they're gone again! They'll be back soon, but I had the luxury, again, of reading, folding some laundry, avoiding some more bills, and buying a really cute shirt online! Not bad. I even got out my sketchbook and did a little picture with colored pencils. It's been awhile. Now it looks like rain and I'm sure the peaceful house will be back to it's usual mayhem any minute now.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

A day without...

...the boys. They left me here to go watch racing at some far-away place. They're still not home. I napped. I read. I caught up on billing and balanced the checkbook. Yawn. Clipped Ed's nails. Yep. (whistling, looking around). Not much going on here.

But, this morning? Well, let me tell you...when they were still here?? That was a completely different story. The walls are still reverberating with the echoes of THAT. Isn't it funny how you miss it once it's gone?

Jack: (7am) I think we should go to Bill's for breakfast.
me: Hm. Okay, not a bad idea actually. (I yell up the stairs for Dennis, who probably fell asleep in Jack's bed after getting him this morning)
Den: Wha?!
me: Bill's?
Den: Uh, nooooo?
me: Okay it's just us Jack...let's go.

Sounds pretty calm, eh? We had a nice breakfast, came home and had to get ready for Jack to go to his swimming lesson. BUT. The carpenter's were here, they needed cash AND wasp spray (holy mother of a nest behind one of the gutters) AND Dennis needed to race over to the town dump before we left.

me: (8:30, to Dennis) Okay, you get the cash on your way back from the dump, we'll go swimming and pick up the bug spray on the way home from that. Not enough time!
Jack: I don't want to go swimming! I want to watch them pull the house apart!

We got home after the swimming lesson and of course had forgotten the bug spray. Dennis left again to run to the store.  He told Jack that they were going to go watch the races.

Jack: (10:00) I don't want to go to the races with Daddy! It's too hottttttttt! I want to stay herrrreeeeeee!
me: Here, finish your snack and we'll talk about it.
Jack: Why don't YOU talk about it. It's all you ever do is talk talk talk.
me: (!) Okay, I guess you just earned a time out. Let's go.

Five minutes later, Jack was back and eating his snack.

Jack: Well, if I stay home with you, I'll just watch movies all day, and that's better.
me: If you stay home with me, you won't be watching movies, you'll actually be playing by yourself for awhile because I have some things to do.
Jack: AWWWWWW! But I don't want to go with Daddy!!!!!
Dennis: (back from getting the spray) Well, like it or not, you're going with me. (He then took Jack upstairs and either bribed him or described a day so full of fun that any 5-year-old would be begging to go.)
Jack: We're gonna break all your rules Mommy! (he shouted gleefully as he came down the stairs)
me: Sigh. Well you won't be breaking my rules pertaining to sunblock, water, wearing a hat, and eating your veggies, so have fun with that.
Jack: AWWWWWW! Dad come on let's gooooooo!
Dennis: Do we have everything? We gotta get going.
me: Here's some snacks and your water bottles.
Jack: Don't use the spray suntan lotion on me, get the regular kind!
me: (running out to my car to get the lotion) Here use this, the other kind burns Jack's skin and eyes.
Jack: I need the earplugs with the string, because it's loud there!
me: (running back down to the car to look in my backpack) Where's the backpack!!??
Dennis: In my car, up front.
me: (I dig out the earplugs and give them to Dennis while they pile in the car. I notice he throws everything in the back hatch.) Um, don't you want the waters and Jack's snacks up front? It's a long drive and...
Dennis: (jumps out and rearranges everything) I guess... (then he hops back in and starts the car)
me: Do you need Jack's sunglasses??? Nevermind! (I see the look from Dennis) Just keep him in the shade.
Dennis: Can you get them please!?
Jack: (muffled from the back) I need sunglasses!!!!!
me: (dashing through the house, grabbing the sunglasses) Here!
Dennis: I found some, so we're good! Byeeeee!

Then they leave. The carpenters bang around for awhile, then they leave. Then it's quiet. A few hours go by and no calls, no texts, no noise, no interruptions. WTF. This is no way to live. I text Dennis. Nothing back. Sigh. I nap, I read. Do I miss the chaos?

Finally I get a call from Jack. While I'm typing this post...

Jack: Hi Mom. We had fun and I ate a chocolate bar! Do you want Bill's for dinner?
me: We just ate that for...
Jack: (Interrupts me and muffles the phone. What 5-year-old muffles a phone?) Dad, you want Bill's for dinner??
me: Hey Jack, I'm fine so you guys stop if you want. What did you eat for lunch?
Jack: Lunch? We didn't eat lunch. Hey Mom, you don't want anything for dinner from Bill's??
me: Wait, no lunch? I just said...
Jack: (Interrupts me again) Do you want anything?
me: I said no. Hey, I made pasta salad if you're...
Jack: (cutting me off) Okay I love you BYEEEE!!!! (click)

Sigh. Really? Who's coaching these phone calls? But at least I have another hour or so of peace and quiet before the madness returns.

Friday, July 23, 2010

He says the funniest sh*t!

Jack was supposed to go on a field trip to a lake with his camp class. It started raining, with a bit of thunder mixed in for good measure. Needless to say the trip was canceled. Since Daddy signed up to be a chaperone of said trip, he took Jack out of camp and they hit the town. This was the phone call I got from Jack.

Jack: Hi Mommy! Our trip was canceled. Too much rain and we can't go swimming. Daddy took me to the mall, but the power was out. So now we're going to Ikea. (meaningful pause) It's our only hope!

He really sounded like Princess Leia when she made her plea to Obi Wan...And I'm not even a Star Wars geek!

I guess they had a good time, and ended up back at the mall when the power was restored. I got to sit here and work all day. Well, I'm not working at this exact minute, but you know what I mean! :)

Thursday, July 22, 2010

I need help

And boy is that a broad statement. But what I mean is that when I really need help, Jack is there with his large head-fulla-brains to pitch in for me. It's happened so many times that I hardly recognize it anymore, and pretty much take it for granted. I now ask him questions that no 5-year-old should know the answer to, but he is usually, no always, right on target.

me: Hey Jack, did we pay for school this month?
Jack: No, you need to write a check.
me: (scrambling for my purse) Thanks!

Jack: Uh, Mom? I don't think this is the way to the pool.
me: (looking around me as we drive) Ugh, I took the first right instead of the second right. Thanks Jack! That saved us a bunch of time.

me: Jack, did we do your inhaler this morning? I forget...
Jack: Yessss, we did it. You're always forgetting that.
me: I know...

And so on and so forth. It's not always about me forgetting things, though it may seem like that to the untrained eye.

This little tidbit must be shared because it was discussed on the way home from school. Jack asked me what a certain word meant. It was either "dispenser" or I don't know, something like that. I told him what it meant, and then said something about "the dispenser". Maybe I used it in a sentence.

Jack: You know when you use "the" in front of a word, it means that you don't know what it is. But if you use "a" in front of it, it means you know what it is.
me: Huh?
Jack; "THE" dispenser...get it? You're talking about it but I don't know what it is. But if you say "A" dispenser, you think I already know what that means.
me: Hm. Who's telling you this?
Jack: No one. It just appears in my head.

Not sure what to make of that, but if his track record is any indication, he's on to some new language breakthrough that hasn't been discovered yet. It really doesn't feel like I'm talking to a 5-year-old sometimes. I promptly got a headache that hasn't gone away yet. :(

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

The Dream

Jack: Mom, I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed that I was with Cameren and I was climbing this big pole and I was going way faster than I can normally climb so that's how I knew it was a dream. So I got to the top or close to it and then I got scared so I jumped and landed right on my stomach! And then a HUGE wind came and blew up my shorts. They blew up so big that they couldn't hold any more air. Then they POPPED! Like when you blow up a bag and pop it? Just like that. And then you could see my underwear and Cameren started laughing that he could see my underwear. And it was so funny, like undies all over the place. Wooo hoooo!

me: I dreamed that a baby was crawling after me and pulling on my leg. It was wearing a blue onesie.

Jack: That's not very interesting at all. Is that why you wake up so early?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What Jack is Reading

At the moment that is. He reads everything. Cereal boxes, signs on the highway, ingredient labels (mostly for the deadly tree nuts), catalogs that we consider junk mail, and of course his ever-growing library of books.

Today he read "Alexander, Who Used to be Rich This Past Sunday" on the way to school, cracking up hysterically the entire time! He also loves the other Alexander books, which are really funny, and keep parents entertained as well.

Jack: Mom he said "My brother told me to take my money and go by a new face. He stinks!" Hahahahaaaa! This is a REALLY good book Mom.

He then read "Amelia Bedelia - Under Construction" on the way home from school. He was so engrossed, that if I tried to ask him a mundane question (How was your day, did you like your lunch?), he would say "trying to read, can't answer!", without looking up. Yikes. A mini-me. Don't interrupt me until I get to the end of that paragraph! Please!

Jack: (when he finally finished with Amelia) I can't believe they were using steaks in the ground instead of the stakes that are made out of wood. That is soooo funny!

And tonight before bed, the comedy trend continued, with me reading "Doggone Dogs". Always a favorite because of the lengthy and poetic discussion of poop. Any child (read: boy) will love it.

Jack: Mom, they have to call the troops to pick up all the doggone poop! That is SO gross!

Even though Jack has turned into an excellent reader, he loves for Mom or Dad to read to him. We are working our way through "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe", which Jack is LOVING. But we don't read it every single day. When he's in the mood, Jack has a tendency to turn to some of the oldies but goodies, even though I consider them "baby" books. :) Jack wanted one more story before bed tonight and he chose "The Berenstain Bear's - B Book". Again with the laughter. You just try and say "Big Brown Bear, Blue Bull, Beautiful Baboon, Blowing Bubbles, Biking Backward..." with a straight face. Sheesh.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Eye for an eye?

This morning Jack and I were in the kitchen. I was pulling out boxes of cereal and asking him what kind he'd like. He pointed to the Honey Nut Cheerios. Jack knows that when I give him a bowl of "sweet" cereal, I cut it with about half of the non-sweet version. He's fine with that. I do the same for myself actually.

Jack: You know what Daddy does when he's mad at you?
me: (Huh?) Um, no idea?
Jack: He pours my cereal right from the sweet box and doesn't add any of the plain kind.

I guess that'll teach me.

Is this the news I need from my 5-year-old at 7 in the morning?


Sunday, July 18, 2010

Where has the time gone?

5 and 1/2 years. Almost. On July 25th Jack will celebrate another milestone. He's been waiting for this for months! It's not enough to be just 5. He got very excited when he found out he was 5 and 3/8! So in a few days, next Sunday to be exact, Jack will have a small, but meaningful 5 and 1/2 year old birthday celebration. It will really just be us and the cats. :)  But, Jack will be thrilled!

Needless to say, I get a little melancholy at the thought of him growing older, bigger, wiser, etc. It's just going too fast. Make it slow down. Here's how things looked just the other day! Okay, it was a few years ago, but still:

 (Photos of Jack at 2 and 3 years old.)

...Will finish this post up in a bit. Little monster just returned from a trip to Ikea with Daddy. He's insisting that I come look at what he put in his safe (piggy bank).

Okay, I'm back. A few hours later and much more tired. The heat is killing me. Jack had a bit of a cranky afternoon, mostly because of the heat, I'm guessing. So, he is now asleep and I have a few minutes to catch up. Now where was I?

So, even the cats are getting older. I was just informed that Bella has turned into a "senior" cat! Senior! Little Bella! She's only 7. But wow, those years flew by also. Ed is 9. I guess we should have a big party for both of them. :)

Jack: What does "senior" mean?
me: It means you're old.
Jack: (he looks aghast.) How come the kitties are old and they're only 7 and 9? You're 41!
me: Tell me about it. Anyway...
Jack: Well, in a week I will finally be 5 and a half. Yaaayyyyyy! I'm so excited!
me: It's a big deal to be 5 and a half, huh?
Jack: Yes it is. It means I'm older that most people in my class.
me: Actually Jack, you're younger than most of them.
Jack: Well, they only call themselves FIVE, so if I call myself FIVE and a HALF, I will sound older.
me: And when you get old like me, you'll want to be younger.
Jack: Nah, that'll never happen. I'll always want to be older until I'm a hundred. (he thinks) How old will you be when I'm a hundred?
me: (Sigh) A hundred and forty one. Thanks. I'm sure it will be great.

More sarcasm I could not have. :)

Saturday, July 17, 2010

The big helper slash cat whisperer

Or wannabe helper. Jack really tries. He really really does. He wants to help with just about everything I do. Like today. We had to take the cats to the vet. Haven't done that in a few years. Ahem. Sorry guys, but you're "indoor" cats. Anyway...

Jack: Oh, Oh, I'll help you carry the cats out!
me: No, Jack they're heavier than they look. I got it. Where's Daddy?
Jack: He's outside with Ed.
(Ungodly noise coming from the driveway. Yeeeoooooooooowwww! Yep, that's Ed)
me: Okay get the door, while I grab Bella. No, not that door, THAT door...Jack you have to get out of the way. Sigh. Thanks. (I practically trip over him as he dawdles)
Jack: Yay! The kitties are going to the doctors and I don't have to.
Ed/Bella: Mrrreeeeeeeooooooooooowwwwwwwrrrrrrr!
me: Jack they're a bit scared so we can say nice things to them while we drive to the vets.
Jack: Okayy. (He talks in falsetto) Okaaayyy kitties, it's ooohhhkkkaaaayyy, we're just driving to the doctors and you won't get a shoooootttttttttt.  Wait, Mom WILL they get a shot?
me: I'm not sure. Probably.
Jack: (falsetto resumes) Sorrrrryyyyyyy, but you will get a shoooootttttt, it's oooohkaaayyyyyy. Good kitties...
me: (smiling at this) Thanks Jack, I see they've calmed down.
Jack: Oh no, they're just too scared to meow. I'm that way when we go to the doctors.

We get to the vet's and start to haul the carriers out of the back of the car.

Jack: I can help carry Bella! She's smaller!
me: Jack they are WAY too heavy. Can you get the door please.
Jack: AWWWW! (he opens the door but stands in the middle of the doorway)
me: Sigh...grunt...Jack you have to move okay?
Jack: I think you can fit. (sees the look on my face and moves to hold the door open wider.)

In the vet's office, Jack tends to both kitties and tries to keep them calm by petting them and saying soothing things. It really works! Then it's time to leave. Same scenario as before.

Jack: Here, I can carry Bella! (tries to lift her and almost drops the carrier)
me: (giving a warning look)
Jack: Sigh. (puts her down and goes to hold the doors) I'm a big helper, right Mommy? I do everything for the kitties and make them feel not so scared.
me: Yes you are a good helper.
Jack: When we get home I'll give them a t-r-e-a-t (spells it out so the cats won't understand him)
me: That sounds good!
Jack: I'll open the doors of the carriers and make sure they get out okay.
me: Great.

We get home and I carry both cats inside.

me: You ready to help open the doors? Come on big helper!
Jack: What's that smell???
me: (peering into Ed's and then Bella's carrier) Uh oh. I think I smell poop! (Poor Bella)
Jack: Awwww I'm outta here! (waves his hand dismissively and walks away) Cats are SO nasty, pooping in their own carrier. Sheesh.

So much for the big helper.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Jack and Fireworks

Or, well, those two words are rarely used in the same sentence. Mainly because Jack still does not have any desire to see fireworks. He thinks he is ready, and we have another opportunity coming up in August to see some fireworks, but I really don't think he can handle it.

For one, he hates it when it's really dark out. Two, he hates loud noises, and Three, he's generally unmanageable when he's tired, which occurs between 7:15 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. each night. Sooo, knowing that fireworks start at least after 9 p.m., we've never even attempted to have him see any.

We had a few sparklers in the house on the 4th, so we decided to do a baby steps test drive and see how Jack reacted. The expression on his face surely says it all. ("Don't think I'm taking my eye off of you for one second!")

me: Hey Jack, do you want to light some sparklers?
Jack: Yeahhhhh!
me: Do you know what a sparkler is?
Jack: No, not really.
me: Here, help me open the box... (I tip a few into my hand)
Jack: (a bit worried) What's on this stick?
me: Sort of like gunpowder? (I looked it up and it's a "pyrotechnic mix", whatever that is.)
Jack: What happens??!
me: (Sigh.) It sparkles. Here. (I light one and try to hand it to Jack)
Jack: Oh, oh, I don't want to...okay gimme.
me: See? Not so bad. Want to do another one?
Jack: Okay.
me: Here you hold it and I'll light it.
Jack: NO!! (backs away)
me: It's fine, it doesn't hurt.
Jack: I felt burning on my arm.
me: Did it hurt?
Jack: Not really.
me: Then you can hold this.
Jack: Oh no I can't!

He refused to hold one and let it be lit. I did them all for him and eventually he said he'd had enough. He is NOT one to play around with anything having anything to do with fire. This is a good thing.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

If I were a food blogger

But I'm not. Sigh. Anyway, if I WERE a food blogger, I would probably weigh a lot more. Yep. That and I would really hone in on my photography skills. I would try to make my food look so yummy and enticing, that you could actually taste it. When you're a momblogger (another sigh) you use the candid photos that you find funny or entertaining or that go with your story. Therefore, I'm stuck with photos of black eyes, cats doing weird things and other non-photogenic subject matter. And it's all mine! (Evil laugh inserted here.)

Jack: Mom, what does that say? Sht? (trying to pronounce sh*t)
me: Oh, heh heh (hiding the blog window) didn't see you come in. What's up?
Jack: What was that you were working on? What's sht?
me: That's just a funny blog Mommy is writing.
Jack: What's a blog?
me: It's like a journal that you keep online. I write about funny things that happen to me and things you say...
Jack: You write about me?? Let me see!
me: Maybe when you're a little older.
Jack: Why do I have to be older to read about me?
me: Welll.... (nothing to say...)
Jack: Oh I know.
me: You do?
Jack: You want it to be a surprise, like my birthday books.
me: Yes! That's exactly it! You'll get to see it some day soon. (Whew)
Jack: Or I can just type in the address right there (he points to the hidden tab that clearly says "sh*t my 5-year-old says"
me: Oh sh*t... yeah... ha ha.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Dreaded Swab!

When you're 5, and possibly have strep throat, you have fear. Not a fear of a painful throat, or high fever, or the fact that you have to miss summer camp. It's the fear of...the SWAB. You only have to get it once, but you'll remember it for a lifetime. Even if your first time was when you were 3. So this was my night last night. (Hence no post!)

I had to convince Jack of the following:  A) it's okay to be afraid of the swab, but you still have to be brave, B) Even if you're not brave, you're still getting the swab because it's the only way to tell if you have strep, and C) Even if you're not brave, you're deathly afraid AND you understand that this needs to be done...there is no sense crying about it ALL night because (refer to B) it's still gonna happen. Whether you cry or not. Save your energy for fighting the doctors tomorrow. Boy I hope they have a few strong ones on duty. (It usually takes 4 adults to hold Jack for a finger prick...after which he usually utters, "Boy, that was hardly worth all the fuss eh?" ... as the doctors and nurses scurry off to dress their wounds and check for damaged private parts.)

Last night we had a trial run. I wet one end of a Q-tip and set up my pretend doctor's office.

me: Thank you for coming in today sir. How may I help you?
Jack: I have a sore throat.
me: Can I take a peek?
Jack: Yes.
me: Ohhhhh look at how red your throat is. We'll have to do a swab. Is that okay? You look very brave.
Jack: I am brave! (then whispers) Wait, Mommy, are you really going to stick it way back in my throat?
me: I'll just do a little bit to show you how it tickles.
Jack: (opens up) Ahhhhhh.
me: Wider please.
me: Okay just a little tickle here (I swab the roof of his mouth)
Jack: That's it? That's all they will do?
me: Yep, that's it, you did it!
Jack: But their swabs are sooooo much longer! Ooohhhhhhh! (wringing of hands)
me: That's okay, it will just tickle a little further back.
Jack: Oh that's not too bad then. (he relaxes finally)

Next day. We're at the doctor's office. I'm signing us in while Dennis takes Jack in to sit down. I hear Jack start to cry. "Mommmmeeeeee" over and over as I try to finish up.

me: Honey, what's wrong?
Jack: Mooommmmmmeeeeeee! Mommmmeee!
me: (I pick him up on my lap) It's okay. You just feel yucky?
Jack: (nods) And I'm afraid of the, the, the swaaaab!!!
me: Remember it will only take 2 seconds.
Jack: But that's a veeerrrryyy loooonnnnggg tiiiiiiimmeee. Mommmmeeee!
me: You don't have to be scared. Remember how brave you were last night when we practiced?
Jack: Yeaaaaahhhh, but right now I'm just more scared than brave!

In the end, the nurse got Jack to open up and swabbed him before he even knew what hit him. Whew. It's not enough to just be sick by yourself. But when you have to be sick AND take care of a sick child, well, that's a whole other level of reserves that you have to pull from. Enough from me. I'm beat. My throat stlll hurts and I want to call my Mommy!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Our regularly scheduled progamming will resume...


I was laid out with strep yesterday and all of last night. Things can get very trippy with a 102.4 fever. At one point I really thought I was in the hospital. It was about 12:30 a.m. I had been sleeping on and off for oohhhhhh about 8 hours already!

Jack of course was less than thrilled about my being flat out and unable to lift my head.

Jack: (trying to pull me to a sitting position) Come ON! I want you to read stories tonight.
me: Jack I can't even lift my head so Daddy will read tonight. I promise I'll feel better tomorrow.
Jack: Oh you always say that. You're fiiiinnnnneee (tug, tug)
me: Not happening, sorry. (my head flops back onto the pillow)
Jack: I don't want Daddy to read. You read waaaayyyyy better! (sees my look of warning) Sigh...oh all right. (then calls to Dennis) Come on! I guess you're reading to me! It better be good!


Sunday, July 11, 2010

How Jack chose us for parents

Or, so he says. I mean, I wasn't there. This apparently happened about 5 1/2 years ago up in heaven, according to Jack. I may have mentioned this conversation in a previous post, because we've talked about it before, but today Jack brought it up again and added a funny twist. So I thought I would share. Again, possibly.

Jack: What are all those cars doing with their lights on?
me: That's a funeral. They're going to the cemetery.
Jack: Why?
me: Because someone died and today is the day that they...bury them? (uh oh)
Jack: Whaddya mean, bury? In the ground?
me: Yeah, remember we talked about it before? The headstones in a cemetery are there to show that someone is buried below ground. That way people can visit them, and know where they are.
Jack: But what happens to your body? Are you there forever?
me: Well, you most likely get put in a coffin and then they dig a big hole and put you in and cover you up again. And yes, you're pretty much there forever.
Jack: Yeah I know. It's okay though because your soul goes to heaven.
me: That's right.
Jack: I remember being in heaven.
me: You do? Was anyone there with you?
Jack: God.
me: Really? And what were you guys doing?
Jack: Looking down, trying to decide who I should go to.
me: Did you pick me and Daddy to be your parents?

We had talked about this before and Jack had said that he chose us specifically. I kind of like that idea.

Jack: Yeah. I liked you.
me: That's really nice Jack. I'm glad you picked us. Did we look good to you?
Jack: Yes. But that was before I knew that Daddy would yell a lot.
me: (stifling laughter) Would that have changed your choice?
Jack: I don't know. But maybe.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Why is working out so difficult?

It's not difficult for me. I can get up early, make it to the trail, or boot camp class at 6am, and then work my butt off. That's not the hard part, believe it or not. The hard part is trying to convince a 5-year-old that this is something that Mommy has to do. MUST do. Not a choice in the world. Believe me if there was actually a choice, as in...I'm 20 pounds lighter with a happy-go-lucky attitude 24/7...then by all means I would skip the morning hour-long grueling visit with the pavement or trail. But alas, I need to do this sh*t for SO many reasons. And therefore, I have to also be able to leave the house either undetected, or with everyone's full support, knowing that I'll be back in a little over an hour.

I was saying goodnight to Jack and the subject came up. I was THIS close to getting out of that room. This close! Sigh.

Jack: Mom, is tomorrow a boot camp day?
me: Nope. That's Monday.
Jack: Yayyyyy!
me: But, tomorrow I'm going for a run before you and Daddy get up.
Jack: Noooooooo! I don't like it when you go for a run!
me: You're asleep honey, and you won't even know...
Jack: I always know. I don't like waking up and you're not here.
me: How about if I get back before you wake up.
Jack: I always wake up! And you know what? When I call "Mommy" then Daddy comes up to get me. He doesn't even know his own name!
me: That's because he knows I'm not home, so he comes to check on you. How about you call for Daddy tomorrow morning if you wake up early. Then he'll come up and get you and everything will be okay?
Jack: It's never okay. He says it's too early to get up, or else he lays down on my bed and starts snoring. Then I'm all by myself again anyway.
me: (stifling a laugh) Ohhh, that doesn't sound like fun.
Jack: You know what the worst part is? When I wake up then I know you're not here and then I'm all alone and that makes me sad. (lip trembles...) Sniff...
me: Oh sweetie, I love that you miss me, but Mommies have to do some things by themselves sometimes. It's very important. It helps us become better at being a Mommy.
Jack: Just be a good Mommy without going running!
me: I wish I could.
Jack: Anything you wish can come teacher said that. Or is it anything you dream? I think it's dream.
me: Okay goodnight.
Jack: But are you still going running?
me: Yep. And guess what?
Jack: What?
me: I'll come back before you even wake up. So when you do wake up, call for Daddy. Then I'll come up and get you and you can pretend I don't remember what my own name is.
Jack: Ha ha!
me: What if you called for Mommy and Grandpa Louie showed up to get you?
Jack: What the---? Ha ha ha. Grandpa Louie...that's funny! What if Uncle John showed up.
me: Yeah, he'd be all tired like "What do you want...I'm trying to sleep over here"...
Jack: (cracks up at the funny thoughts)
me: Are you ok?
Jack: Yeah. Are you still going running?
me: Yeah.
Jack: Sigh... See? We're right back where we started like 6 hours ago. Sigh...

Friday, July 9, 2010

Boo-Boo(s) and how Jack broke us in.

Definitely plural.

I gave Jack a shower this afternoon and noticed a few new cuts and scrapes on him. One good-sized one on his knee and two on his foot. I asked him how they got there.

me: Jack, what happened to your knee? Was that from yesterday when you fell at the park?
Jack: I didn't fall yesterday.
me: Yes, you did. Remember you saw the school bus and started running and then you fell? (I was there, so I know!)
Jack: Nope. I didn't run.
me: Sigh, anyway where did this cut come from?
Jack: I fell today when I was on my hike with Daddy. I remember when I get hurt.
me: What about those two cuts on your foot?
Jack: That's from being in the pool yesterday.
me: But you didn't tell me about it while we were at the pool.
Jack: I didn't want to stop swimming and you always make me get a band-aid.
me: Ah.

So then I started thinking about how many bruises Jack has on a normal day. Oh, maybe 10 or 12 on a good day. No really, he IS that clumsy.

And THEN I started to think back on all of his injuries; the small ones and not-so-small ones.

Like the time he fell when he was two and needed 10 stitches across his forehead. This is not the call you want to get from your daycare provider. It's any Mom's worst fear. In the ER it literally took 4 adults to hold down one small child, who turned into a very good resemblance of the Exorcist image we are all familiar with, while the plastic surgeon put his forehead back together. I tell you, once you live through that, anything else seems trivial in comparison.
me: What's that? You fell? Any blood? No? You're fiiiinnnneeee. (You continue flipping through your magazine.)

And who could forget the first time he tried a cashew when he was three and a half and within about 3 minutes needed to be rushed to the hospital. I get the shakes just remembering that day. Now he's fated to a lifetime of Epi-Pens. Just remember, after the 2nd trip to the ER, they begin to ask questions. It's standard procedure.

Should I go on? Do any of you have a boy like this? Do tell!

Some more hot topics for next time:
"How Jack tripped and fell when he was 2, while wearing Mommy's sneakers, and put his teeth clear through his bottom lip, causing Mommy to miss a very important meeting!"

Dennis and I are broken. We'll be the first to admit it. Jack can run like a maniac across the pavement, take a nose dive, skid for 10 feet and leave a trail of tattered clothing, and maybe, just maybe, we'll get up and go to his assistance. We wait. No crying? No screaming? No blood? All is well. Even Jack has learned to deal with his ... uh... forward momentum issues. He gets up, looks around, wonders how he got where he ended up, shakes his head, and continues on his way. Usually at a run.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A few other things mastered this year

2010 has been a very big year for Jack! The last time we saw so many motor skills being learned was probably in 2006, when he learned to walk, to talk, to drink from a cup, ride a tricycle, jump, etc. Then he worked on his language skills for the next few years. We wondered if he would ever be interested in throwing a ball, kicking a ball (basically anything with a ball)...because some of his friends are wicked throwers, catchers and hitters. But, they don't speak as well as Jack does.

Now, in 2010, we saw him learn how to ride without training wheels, hit a baseball, throw like a champ (both football and baseball), skateboard (not fully, but the one foot on, hopping sort of way), and start to swim alone. Wow, he has not stopped moving all year. The other thing I noticed was that Jack has started to draw. I mean real things. That I can recognize. A very short time ago (literally only months) Jack was scribbling and making random shapes. Other kids in his class are amazing artists. Did I worry? No. This type of thing never did bother me. Sure enough, about two weeks ago, Jack came home with some drawings. One had a spaceship, a helicopter and a walrus (of all things) on it - and I recognized all of them. He was so proud! I was so proud! Jack has since drawn an amazing vampire (complete with a victim sporting a thought bubble that read "Ahhhhh!" lol.), a rabbit, a spider, and a giraffe. See? He's not broken! :)

Today Jack added two more things to his repertoire: cannonballs and diving. Yes you heard me right. Diving. (OMG, how is that possible when a few hours after swimming he fell off the chair in my dentist's office and almost hacked his face off on a tray of tools??)

Anyway, I helped chaperone Jack's class trip to the town pool today. We had already ascertained that Jack can swim, from my previous post...but today, I kid you not, he just started diving into the 4-foot area of the pool. Of course the pimply-faced lifeguard had to put a stop to that... "No diving! Feet first please!" ... but Jack got a few good dives in while he could. And I noticed one or two covert dives later on. That's my boy! So after the lifeguard squelched that fun, Jack discovered that he could jump harder and harder into the water...feet first. I then told him to tuck his knees up and hold them, and whammo, a cannonball was born. Luckily Jack had learned to swim without holding his nose, I have no idea why, so that makes all of this other stuff that much easier. If you have one hand always holding your nose, you might be more hesitant to try and dive.

Jack: Mom, Mom LOOOOKKKKKK! I just did a cannonball.
some other kid: Pfft, that wasn't a cannonball, you just jumped!
Jack: It was TOO a cannonball! (Jack jumps towards the kid to show him how effective his splash is)
kid: Heyyyyy, watch out!
me: (to the kid) Why don't you show Jack how to do a cannonball then, if this doesn't look right to you?
kid: Uhhhh, that's okay, it looks pretty good. (he swims away)
Jack: I think he was chicken.
me: (hee hee) Okay just tuck your knees up when you jump and ---
Jack: (jumps before I finish my sentence) Wooooooooooooooooo! (Splash!) Oh that was the most awesome cannonball ever!! I can't believe I learned that so fast. (starts to climb out to jump again) I always thought it was hard but it's pretty easy and now... (he jumps in) I can tell -------Gaaaaaa--- COUGH COUGH COUGH!!! WAHHHHHHHH!
me: Ohhh Jack...come here. That's what happens when you keep yapping while you try to jump in the pool. Keep your mouth closed next time.
Jack: (comes out coughing and sputtering and muttering under his breath) I tell you to keep your mouth closed.
me: Sigh.

So, not too worry, all kids will learn these very different skills eventually. Kids don't all learn at the same pace, and some skills take a much longer time to master. And sometimes, kids put one skill set on hold while they practice another. It's all part of who they are as a person, and it may really show which part of their personality is more dominant. Enjoy it all!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


I can't remember anything exciting that happened today, mainly because it's still 106 degrees at 10:30 p.m. UGH! I'm really slow and stupid when it's this hot. (No comments from the peanut gallery, thank you very much!) So basically, I'm lazy and tired and want to go to bed. I'm chaperoning a class trip to the town pool/park tomorrow and need to get rested up to help wrangle 20+ 5-year-olds. Did I mention that I volunteered for this? Jack couldn't be happier. Except...that Dennis is chaperoning another trip on Friday, which consists of lots of hiking and lots of woods, which may or may not harbor lots of ticks. Jack is counting the days until that happens.

Jack did say a few things today that reminded me of his unique style of speaking. He has the funniest phrases and I just want to jot them down so I don't forget. Forgive me if they are repeats. This is my blog and I'll repeat if I want to.  :P

Jack: This is crazier than my life!
(Can be used in just about any circumstance. Like when he is just about to climb on a  rollercoaster, or sees something funny in one of his videos. Always gets a laugh.)

Jack: I'm gonna do a little twitch.
(This means that he's got his groove on. Which then means that he feels like dancing. Usually in stores that have bass-thumping beats going on. Jack will find a full-length mirror and twitch his butt for all to see. Except he forgets that everyone can see him.)

Jack: Oh crisis!
(Jack actually thinks this is a swear, similar to "Christ!" We tell him not to say "Christ" when he's upset, though he points out that other people say it when THEY are mad. Ahem. Then one day, I was talking about work and said it was a complete crisis. Jack said "OOOOhhhhh Mom, you just said a bad word!" I explained what it meant, but Jack didn't believe me. "You're just tricking me because you don't want me to say it." Now he says "crisis" all the time. Moms always have the last laugh.)

Jack: Why do I have to look at all your tank tops?
(Says Jack when he sees my bras in the laundry. I tell him they are bras, and the other shirts are tank tops, but he doesn't care. We were in H&M today... hey I remembered something! ...and Jack saw a big pile of bras. He said: "Why am I looking at a huge pile of red tank tops??" Then he put one in front of his eyes and said "Whooooaaahhhhhh" sounding just like Wall-E.)

Jack: See my finger, see my thumb, see my fist you better run!
(Sigh, thanks Dad. This only has meaning if we are visiting Grandpa.)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

OMG So Hot!

107, 104, 102...not normally numbers you'd associate with temperature, but alas, here we are. Even our central air cannot keep up with the heat. Tonight, Jack was not even able to sleep in his 2nd floor bedroom, but is down in our 1st floor bedroom, which is easily 15 degrees cooler. UN-real!

Jack was especially glad that his camp trip today was to a movie theater! Yayyyy! If only I had signed up to chaperone that one. Instead, what do I pick? Day at the pool and playground. Hot, HOT! I don't really like the heat. I'm a 68-72 degree kind of person. Anything above that makes me cranky.

Jack: I am NOT going on my hiking trip tomorrow. It's toooooooo hottttttttttt!
me: It's ok. We won't make you go. You can stay in another classroom at school.
Jack: Whew. I hate it when my undies get all hot and itchy.


Luckily they canceled the hike until Friday. Hope it cools down by then. Now I'm off to sit in the living room with a loud fan blowing in my face. But I shouldn't say that about Dennis. Hahahaha! Kidding. Anyway, it's sad to have central air and not get to enjoy it on the 100+ days. But as my neighbor, who doesn't have central air, says..."At least it's not 100 degrees in your kitchen!"

Amen to that.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Long Weekend Blues

Blue because it's just about over. This weekend felt extremely long for some reason! I mean, even with the extra day thrown in, it felt like it went on forever. I think that's because we filled every second of our time with something. Even our leisure time (which we don't get a lot of) was quality leisure, filled with homemade Pina Coladas and such! (Thanks Dennis). It was a mini vacation. Well, to those of us that didn't spend a scorching day on the roof, cleaning the gutters. (Thanks again Dennis).

Jack had an action-packed, fun-filled, 3-day weekend, and hasn't paused once! Friday was his day at Yankee Stadium with Daddy, then Saturday we went to the pool, the playground, the mall and arcade, and then today we took an early bike ride on the trail and THEN went to the water park with our friends for a picnic. After we got home, Jack was all set to play his new game "Cloudy with a chance of meatballs", which he adapted from the book/movie. I think we would have ended up throwing plastic food at each other, but I'm not sure. Here are some photo highlights from the weekend, plus some sh*t that Jack said afterwards. :)

Jack: Mom, Mom! Let's go do something!
me: But, we just got back from doing something. I need to rest!
Jack: This will be FUN! We'll play Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs!
me: Okkkaaayyyy??? But don't you want to rest for a bit? Maybe I can read to you or something?
Jack: Oh noooo, I'm changing into clean clothes, getting my fur on (Wall-E blanket) and I'm going into my bison pen (couch).
me: What does that have to do with meatballs?? (my phone rang and I went into the kitchen to answer it. When I came back into the living room, Dennis was hovering near Jack.)
Dennis: He's out cold.
me: Ha ha, I knew it!
Jack: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZz-z-z-(snort).

Earlier today Jack asked me if I've ever snored and ended with a quack. What a strange question! So, now, after catching up on my blog reads, I guess I'd better go and wake the sleeping bison.

Oh, and P.S. to the one family member that actually reads this blog...I updated photos on some of the other posts. Go have a look around!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Sports Much?

(Jack and Soccer)
Jack: Mom, what do you have to do to win the World Cup?
me: You have to beat all of the other teams that are playing.
Jack: No, like, what do you DO to win.
me: It's soccer, so the team with the most goals wins the game. Then they play other teams and try to win. Whoever wins the most games wins the World Cup.
Jack: I bet it's just like the Piston Cup!
me: Do you want to watch a game on TV?
Jack: (after 10 minutes of Paraguay vs. Spain) Can we turn this off now? I'd rather be a bison.

(Jack and Baseball)
Dennis and Jack went to a Yankees game on Friday. It was Jack's first game ever, and Dennis' first time in the new stadium. Here's how it went.

Jack: We didn't get to see the whole game because it was very long!
Dennis: He was bored by the 3rd inning.
Jack: I ate so much food and it was great!
me: I hope you didn't eat too much junk food...
Dennis: He ordered sushi. A salmon roll.
me: (at a baseball game?? uh oh.)
Dennis: (seeing my look of slight horror) It was very fresh! They have a big selection of food!
Jack: Eh, we couldn't see very much and they were tiny.
Dennis: We had great seats and they were even in the shade!
Jack: But I got these awesome sweat bands! (he models his wrists for me)
Dennis: We went to Modell's across from Grand Central. I wasn't paying $15 for one wrist band at the stadium.

(Jack and Hockey)
Jack: Mom, how come they get to beat each other up?
me: It's part of the game.
Jack: Do they have to go in a time out?
me: Actually, they have a penalty box, so it's sort of like a time out.
Jack: Yeah, and they have to say they're sorry when they come out, just like I do.

(Jack and Golf)
We took Jack to play mini golf. He enjoyed the idea of it, but not the execution.

Jack: I'm just gonna hit it until I get the ball in.
me: Well, we actually all have to take turns. It's Daddy's turn to go.
Jack: No, I want to get it in first! WAAAAHHHHHH!
Dennis: Just let him hit it as much as he wants...
me: Jack, we do NOT swing the club around like that. If you whack the ground again, we'll have to leave. I'm sorry if you can't hit it into the hole. Keep trying please.
Jack: I'm not having fun!

Luckily Jack is a great reader and loves computers. 

Saturday, July 3, 2010


Today I decided to bring a bunch of stuff to the local Goodwill. It's nice to get rid of the piles! Plus, both Jack and I love to browse in their book section. It's huge! Jack sits and reads while I comb through the aisles. We always leave with something.

I asked Jack to go select 10 toy cars to donate. He literally has a few hundred, matchbox sized and the larger pull-back kind. I didn't think it would be a problem.

Jack: No thanks, I want to keep all of my cars.
me: But you just got some new ones from Grandma, plus you have tons in the basement. Pick out 10 and we'll donate them to kids that don't have any toys.
Jack: Mom, all kids have toys.
me: Some kids don't have any toys at all.
Jack: Well, then their parents should buy them some.
me: (should I say it?) Some kids don't have parents.
Jack: (stops short and looks at me) All kids have parents...otherwise how would they be born?
me: Yes, that's true, but some parents (oh stop me here) die and then their kids don't have parents anymore.
Jack: (wide eyed) But, but, what happens to them?
me: They either live with relatives or go to a foster home, which means they live with someone they don't know.
Jack: Oh, then those people will buy them some toys. Whew.
me: (new tactic) Ummm, donating the toys you don't play with also helps families that don't make a lot of money and can't afford to buy toys.
Jack: Then I guess we should give them money and not toy cars.

I ran out of answers. Can anyone say future lawyer???

Friday, July 2, 2010

Jack learns to swim

Okay, I just have to talk about this! Those of you that have heard the story already, please bear with me because I'm just so excited!

It happened yesterday, at the local pool. Jack and I decided to visit it for the first time in 5 years. Yes I know it's an awesome pool and we should have been doing this all along, but I guess that is part of the reason why Jack was hesitant to even learn how to swim. We don't really have access to a pool (typed that as "poop" a few times before I could get it right. Sigh) Anyway, we just don't swim a lot.

Jack has been taking lessons for quite awhile now. Since last Fall maybe? He hasn't been able to advance to the next level because he was always afraid for the instructor to let him go when he wasn't wearing a floaty thingy. But lately, Jack has become more adventurous. I noticed that when he was in the bathtub, he would submerge his entire face and hold his breath for longer periods of time, without holding his nose. And, he was getting stronger at kicking and swimming while wearing a float bubble or holding onto one of those barbell things.

So, there we were, by the pool yesterday. I decided not to go in at all, not to even get my feet wet, because I thought he might be a little more daring without me as a distraction. He started out just clinging to the side in 2-foot-deep water and saying he was cold. Then he splashed around. Then he started jumping in from the side. I suggested he practice holding his breath and go under the ropes. He tried it and it worked! Next thing I know, he's putting his face in the water and sort of half floating. Soon enough he was full floating, and then added in the thrashing kicks and arm swings that only a 5-year-old could equate to swimming. Funny thing was, he started to move! Then he jumped straight up and had this look of shock on his face.

Jack: Mom!!! I was just floating without EVEN touching the bottom!! I never did that before! (he puts his face in and starts float/swimming.)
me: Jack! Guess what? You are swimming!
Jack: (incredulous) Whaaaatttt? I AM???? Ha! I guess I am!!!
me: Do it again, what you just did. I want to take a video for Daddy.
Jack: (beaming from ear to ear) Okay, here I go! (He thrashed his way from one rope all the way to the other without stopping for air or even touching the bottom. I was amazed!)
me: You did it Jack! I told you that you had to figure it out for yourself, and you did!
Jack: (coming over to hold onto the edge) I actually swam Mommy!
me: (looking around to see who I can tell...just a pimply grumpy teenage lifeguard who couldn't care less) How does it feel???
Jack: I can't believe I can swim now! Oh, it's so easy!
me: Welcome to the club. :)  If you want, when your swimming lessons start again next week, we can probably move you up to the next level.
Jack: (little panic) Naaaahhhhh... (waves his hand) I should just stay where I am and practice this a bit longer first, heh heh.

Jack is confident, quick and eager to learn, but still my little boy underneath all that machismo.  :)

Another Template Update?

Why yes, I'm glad you noticed. Not perfect, but I had to address some complaints I received from the peanut gallery. I hope this makes for a better reading experience. And yes, the psycho swirly colored lights are staying. At least for the next 6 months. :)

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Life on another planet

Jack: Mom, today on our field trip we went to a planetarium and saw a movie about a little star. Nine planets helped it and it grew up to be ... the sunnnnnn!
me: Aw, that sounds great.
Jack: Are there only 9 planets in the whole world?
me: There are 9 in our solar system...(sorry I'm still keeping Pluto), but there are other solar systems out there somewhere.
Jack: (amazed look on his face) You mean with other Earths???
me: Well, not the same as Earth, but very similar...
Jack: With people? (man is he smart for 5)
me: People, or something like us.
Jack: Whoooaaaahhhhh... (faraway look in his eyes)
me: Yep, pretty awesome.
Jack: I bet the astronauts know all about it and they're not telling us... I just know it...