Or wannabe helper. Jack really tries. He really really does. He wants to help with just about everything I do. Like today. We had to take the cats to the vet. Haven't done that in a few years. Ahem. Sorry guys, but you're "indoor" cats. Anyway...
Jack: Oh, Oh, I'll help you carry the cats out!
me: No, Jack they're heavier than they look. I got it. Where's Daddy?
Jack: He's outside with Ed.
(Ungodly noise coming from the driveway. Yeeeoooooooooowwww! Yep, that's Ed)
me: Okay get the door, while I grab Bella. No, not that door, THAT door...Jack you have to get out of the way. Sigh. Thanks. (I practically trip over him as he dawdles)
Jack: Yay! The kitties are going to the doctors and I don't have to.
me: Jack they're a bit scared so we can say nice things to them while we drive to the vets.
Jack: Okayy. (He talks in falsetto) Okaaayyy kitties, it's ooohhhkkkaaaayyy, we're just driving to the doctors and you won't get a shoooootttttttttt. Wait, Mom WILL they get a shot?
me: I'm not sure. Probably.
Jack: (falsetto resumes) Sorrrrryyyyyyy, but you will get a shoooootttttt, it's oooohkaaayyyyyy. Good kitties...
me: (smiling at this) Thanks Jack, I see they've calmed down.
Jack: Oh no, they're just too scared to meow. I'm that way when we go to the doctors.
We get to the vet's and start to haul the carriers out of the back of the car.
Jack: I can help carry Bella! She's smaller!
me: Jack they are WAY too heavy. Can you get the door please.
Jack: AWWWW! (he opens the door but stands in the middle of the doorway)
me: Sigh...grunt...Jack you have to move okay?
Jack: I think you can fit. (sees the look on my face and moves to hold the door open wider.)
In the vet's office, Jack tends to both kitties and tries to keep them calm by petting them and saying soothing things. It really works! Then it's time to leave. Same scenario as before.
Jack: Here, I can carry Bella! (tries to lift her and almost drops the carrier)
me: (giving a warning look)
Jack: Sigh. (puts her down and goes to hold the doors) I'm a big helper, right Mommy? I do everything for the kitties and make them feel not so scared.
me: Yes you are a good helper.
Jack: When we get home I'll give them a t-r-e-a-t (spells it out so the cats won't understand him)
me: That sounds good!
Jack: I'll open the doors of the carriers and make sure they get out okay.
We get home and I carry both cats inside.
me: You ready to help open the doors? Come on big helper!
Jack: What's that smell???
me: (peering into Ed's and then Bella's carrier) Uh oh. I think I smell poop! (Poor Bella)
Jack: Awwww I'm outta here! (waves his hand dismissively and walks away) Cats are SO nasty, pooping in their own carrier. Sheesh.
So much for the big helper.