...the boys. They left me here to go watch racing at some far-away place. They're still not home. I napped. I read. I caught up on billing and balanced the checkbook. Yawn. Clipped Ed's nails. Yep. (whistling, looking around). Not much going on here.
But, this morning? Well, let me tell you...when they were still here?? That was a completely different story. The walls are still reverberating with the echoes of THAT. Isn't it funny how you miss it once it's gone?
Jack: (7am) I think we should go to Bill's for breakfast.
me: Hm. Okay, not a bad idea actually. (I yell up the stairs for Dennis, who probably fell asleep in Jack's bed after getting him this morning)
Den: Uh, nooooo?
me: Okay it's just us Jack...let's go.
Sounds pretty calm, eh? We had a nice breakfast, came home and had to get ready for Jack to go to his swimming lesson. BUT. The carpenter's were here, they needed cash AND wasp spray (holy mother of a nest behind one of the gutters) AND Dennis needed to race over to the town dump before we left.
me: (8:30, to Dennis) Okay, you get the cash on your way back from the dump, we'll go swimming and pick up the bug spray on the way home from that. Not enough time!
Jack: I don't want to go swimming! I want to watch them pull the house apart!
We got home after the swimming lesson and of course had forgotten the bug spray. Dennis left again to run to the store. He told Jack that they were going to go watch the races.
Jack: (10:00) I don't want to go to the races with Daddy! It's too hottttttttt! I want to stay herrrreeeeeee!
me: Here, finish your snack and we'll talk about it.
Jack: Why don't YOU talk about it. It's all you ever do is talk talk talk.
me: (!) Okay, I guess you just earned a time out. Let's go.
Five minutes later, Jack was back and eating his snack.
Jack: Well, if I stay home with you, I'll just watch movies all day, and that's better.
me: If you stay home with me, you won't be watching movies, you'll actually be playing by yourself for awhile because I have some things to do.
Jack: AWWWWWW! But I don't want to go with Daddy!!!!!
Dennis: (back from getting the spray) Well, like it or not, you're going with me. (He then took Jack upstairs and either bribed him or described a day so full of fun that any 5-year-old would be begging to go.)
Jack: We're gonna break all your rules Mommy! (he shouted gleefully as he came down the stairs)
me: Sigh. Well you won't be breaking my rules pertaining to sunblock, water, wearing a hat, and eating your veggies, so have fun with that.
Jack: AWWWWWW! Dad come on let's gooooooo!
Dennis: Do we have everything? We gotta get going.
me: Here's some snacks and your water bottles.
Jack: Don't use the spray suntan lotion on me, get the regular kind!
me: (running out to my car to get the lotion) Here use this, the other kind burns Jack's skin and eyes.
Jack: I need the earplugs with the string, because it's loud there!
me: (running back down to the car to look in my backpack) Where's the backpack!!??
Dennis: In my car, up front.
me: (I dig out the earplugs and give them to Dennis while they pile in the car. I notice he throws everything in the back hatch.) Um, don't you want the waters and Jack's snacks up front? It's a long drive and...
Dennis: (jumps out and rearranges everything) I guess... (then he hops back in and starts the car)
me: Do you need Jack's sunglasses??? Nevermind! (I see the look from Dennis) Just keep him in the shade.
Dennis: Can you get them please!?
Jack: (muffled from the back) I need sunglasses!!!!!
me: (dashing through the house, grabbing the sunglasses) Here!
Dennis: I found some, so we're good! Byeeeee!
Then they leave. The carpenters bang around for awhile, then they leave. Then it's quiet. A few hours go by and no calls, no texts, no noise, no interruptions. WTF. This is no way to live. I text Dennis. Nothing back. Sigh. I nap, I read. Do I miss the chaos?
Finally I get a call from Jack. While I'm typing this post...
Jack: Hi Mom. We had fun and I ate a chocolate bar! Do you want Bill's for dinner?
me: We just ate that for...
Jack: (Interrupts me and muffles the phone. What 5-year-old muffles a phone?) Dad, you want Bill's for dinner??
me: Hey Jack, I'm fine so you guys stop if you want. What did you eat for lunch?
Jack: Lunch? We didn't eat lunch. Hey Mom, you don't want anything for dinner from Bill's??
me: Wait, no lunch? I just said...
Jack: (Interrupts me again) Do you want anything?
me: I said no. Hey, I made pasta salad if you're...
Jack: (cutting me off) Okay I love you BYEEEE!!!! (click)
Sigh. Really? Who's coaching these phone calls? But at least I have another hour or so of peace and quiet before the madness returns.