Thursday, September 30, 2010

Thinking Halloween

And then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, New Year's and then a 6-year-old boy! The end of the year always speeds up for me after my birthday in September. It's like ZOOM I only have a few months to plan the big birthday bash! Jack is insisting on a gymnastics birthday party, of all things, because he heard you get a free t-shirt. LOL! Like he doesn't have enough t-shirts. He even requested that Dennis stop buying him t-shirts when he goes away for work, and "start buying me toys that I can play with Daddy". Jack doesn't even take gymnastics anymore. We tried it for awhile, along with cooking class (hee hee) and then swimming and now tae kwon do. I really thought he would like a cool tae kwon do birthday party. Hmmm. Goes to show, you really don't know what a 5-year-old wants!

Take Halloween for instance. I really really thought that Jack would resurrect Chewbacca for one more year. He makes a most excellent Wookie. Or a pirate, since he has recently been into very pirate-y things like plundering and pillaging and trying to grow a beard.

me: Sooo? What do you think you'll be for Halloween?

Jack: I think a Mutant Ninja Turtle.

me: Oh really??  (Helloooo 1989! And flashbacks to my youngest brother who actually was Raphael when he was about 5 or 6)

Jack: Yeahh, or Bumblebee.

me: (confused for a sec) Why would you want to be a bumblebee?

Jack: (disgusted eyeroll) The TRANSFORMER Bumblee of course?? Sheesh...

me: Oh. Yeah. Heh heh.

Jack: Or Optimus Prime.

me: Nothing regular huh? Like nothing that we already have a costume for? What about a Pirate? We can put that together easily from all of your pirate gear.

Jack: Just put together a Bumblebee costume then.

me: (amidst visions of spending another fortune on a costume) What about Pepito?

Jack: No.

me: So Bumblebee eh?

Jack: I can't waiiitttttt! It will be so cool! But we don't have much time, so you have to get working on it.

me: Sigh...

Okay, it is true that he's outgrown the Chewbacca costume, the doctor scrubs, Pepito's matador threads, the race car driver when he was 2, and Darth Vader when he was 1. Aside from buying a new costume online, what does one do when one's son wants to be Bumblebee? I can't make that costume! Oh ebay, I hope we don't have to visit you again soon. It always ends up costing us so much more...

Anyway, if you have any suggestions, please do tell! I need some costume ideas myself. I have a great cape that I'm "dying" to use.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

You can NOT park here!

Is Jack a tattler? In general, no. When it comes to me...yes! He loves tattling on me to Daddy to see if I'll get in trouble. As if. So, today we picked Dennis up at the train station after 5 days apart. It was late. We were all tired. As we were waiting for the train to approach, I called Dennis to see what station they were near, and then Jack got on the phone.

Jack: (looking at me) Um, Mom, try not to listen to this part okay?

me: Huh? Uh, okayyyy, I'm not listening at all. (yeah right)

Jack: Hi Daddy! Guess what? Mommy went through a stop sign the other day and then today she went through a red light (uh, NOT, because I had a green arrow. 5-year-olds do not know everything.), and right now this very second we're in a spot that says "No Parking! State vehicles only!" I TOLD her to move, but she won't listen... yeah...okay...bye!

me: Sooo, what did you tell Daddy?

Jack: Were you listening?

me: I'm sitting right here Jack.

Jack: But you SAID you wouldn't listen.

me: Well I kinda couldn't help hearing some of your little tattling.

Jack: That's not tattling when it's the truth.

me: I think that's the definition of tattling.

Jack: Well you shouldn't park here.

me: Do you know the definition of parking?

Jack: Uh yeahhh, you park your car somewhere.

me: Technically it's when you turn the car off and leave it. Is our car off?

Jack: No.

me: Did we leave it somewhere and walk away?

Jack: No.

me: Then what we're doing is "waiting" and not "parking", so it's ok.

Jack: Then why are the police coming over here?

me: WHA??? (I whip my head around)

Jack: Just kidding. Bahahaha! Anyway you did go through the stop sign, remember?

me: Yes, I didn't see it until the last minute. Sighhh...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I had a GREAT day!

Not me. Jack. FINALLY. whew. You know it's hard when you're the mom of a quintessential class clown. You have the kid that's always causing mischief, always making people laugh, loves to be the center of attention. That's why I always felt bad for my mom. LOL. You see, Jack is behaving exactly the way I did in school. Right down to the goofy faces, weird noises, Laugh-track loud laughter, and general "can't sit in this chair for more than 30 seconds before some part of my body starts to twitch".

Yesterday, Jack got off the bus and wouldn't look me in the eye. "It was a bad day Mom". Uh oh, I thought. What now. It turns out that Jack received 3 or so warnings for "singing too loud" in music class. How CUTE I thought. Wrong answer, I know. "Now, Jack..." I said, "You can enjoy singing and sing loud when you want to, but you also have to listen to the teacher. And if she says to sing softer, please just follow directions". He sulked. He cried. He said he was soooo BAD and felt AWFUL and hated that I was mad at him. But I wasn't. I want him to follow instructions. I want him to stay on the teacher's good side and not cause trouble for the other students who may still actually need to learn their alphabet in first grade! Okay that was mean. I know his angst, because I lived it too! He'll be fine. He has to find that fine line between having fun and staying within the boundaries of the rules. A little help from me in the way of "no videos until you get a good report from school" also moved things in the right direction.

Jack: Mom, Mommmmm! (as he hurtled himself off the bus and into my arms). I stayed on "ready to learn" today!

me: You DID??? Awesome. I'm really proud of you.

Jack: (practically swaggering up the driveway) Yeah and it was really easy too!

me: See? I knew you could do it. And guess what?

Jack: I get to watch a video?

me: Well, that's not what I was going to say...

Jack: But can I?

me: I think we can arrange that.

Jack: AND can I have a snack while I watch? (we have a strict no food in the living room policy)

me: Sure. Anyway, what I was going to say was, remember how upset you were yesterday when you thought you were being bad?

Jack: Yeah...

me: Well, now you don't have to feel that way. You can repeat what you did today over and over and get the same result.

Jack: That's impossible.

me: Huh? Why?

Jack: Because I only have Music on Tuesdays, and on the other days I have Art and Gym, so you can't repeat what happened today.

me: (sigh) I just meant repeat the good behavior.

Jack: And you know what else?

me: What?

Jack: I think it helps if you don't send me Lunch Box notes in my lunch bag.

me: Oh.

Jack: Yeah. All the reminders to be good are a distraction to me.

me: Fair enough.

Monday, September 27, 2010

I've got enough going on here thanks!

Tonight was "eat whatever is left in the fridge before it goes bad" night. Dennis is away again and Jack and I don't eat as much as people think we do! I've been making regular meals, sort of forgetting that about half of what I make will either need to get tossed or frozen. Let's just say my freezer is full.

Tonight this is what I made. For realz. 2 hamburgers on the grill. One for Jack and one for me, which I knew I wasn't going to eat. Half a box of spinach fettucini. Cooked perfectly might I add. Reheated tortellini's and corn souffle for Jack. Reheated turkey meat sauce for me, to go with the fettucini. Bleh, what a big mess. Anyway Jack was happy. He liked everything.

me: Jack, do you want to try my pasta with sauce? It's good.
Jack: Um... (he looks down at his half of a cheeseburger, tortellini and corn souffle.) Nahhh, I've got enough going on over here.
me: (watching him dig in) Well, it's not exactly what I had planned, but at least you're liking your dinner!
Jack: Owwww, my tummy hurts! I need to stop eating.
me: That's ok. You can stop.
Jack: It's that corn souffle. I like it so much that I can't stop eating it, but it hurts!
me: Maybe it was something else you ate?
Jack: No it was definitely that. It always hurts.
me: (surprised) But you love it!
Jack: I know! I told you that! Next time make it a lot less corn and more souffle.
me: Okay. I'll try.
Jack: I'm gonna go lay on the couch for a while. Maybe on my stomach.
me: And that's why I don't food blog.
Jack: Yeah, that would be funny!
me: Sigh

But guess what!? I'm going to be brave and give you the corn souffle recipe. Not so you'll get sick. Though I am the person that would say "Oh this is disgusting! You have to try it!" I actually like the corn souffle recipe that I have. It's very souffle-y and custardy and yummy. More solid than custard. But definitely not bread like.

So here, try it out and let me know how it turns out. I have no pictures to share with you. Again, because this is not a food blog. Look away food bloggers, look away!!!

Ma'am please step AWAY from the cookbook. Now MOVE!

Corn Souffle Ingredients:
(not in any particular order, and certainly not in the order that you will use them):
1 bag frozen corn (regular bag sized) thawed under running cold water
1 stick butter (yum)
1/3 cup sugar
5 Tablespoons flour
1 Tablespoon baking powder
10 oz. light cream
pinch of salt
5 eggs (Pre-whisk in a bowl. As if you would whisk them on a plate.)

1. Melt butter in sauce pan (medium heat) that will ultimately be big enough to hold all the ingredients from above
2. Stir in sugar until blended
3. Stir in flour
4. Remove from heat
5. Slowly pour in the cream, whisking to make sure it's all nice and blendy
6. Oh, preheat the damn oven to 350! but do that first heh heh.
7. And you might as well grease an 8 x 8 baking dish. Glass kind.
8. If the mixture is hot, which it shouldn't be unless you've effed up the cream part, then I would temper the eggs a bit before you add them. Like, put a little of the melty cream stuff into the egg bowl and whisk that to warm it up.
9. Dump in eggs and whisk all together.
10. Add pinch of salt and baking powder. Blend in.
11. Add corn. Stir until all mixed and dump into the baking dish.
12. Bake at 350 for about 45 minutes. Top should be golden brown and look like corn bread. Yet, it is NOT corn bread. Let cool a bit before you go nuts on it.

Sunday, September 26, 2010

What happened to this weekend??

Anyone else feel that it just flew by? I mean, we did cram a lot into the 2 days us mere working mortals are allowed to rest per week. Saturday: Beach, swimming lessons, Trader Joes, playdate with neighbors, 5th showing of Monsters vs. Aliens in our living room. Sunday: Big E, nephew's football game, dinner out with family, long drive back from MA, bath for Jack then bed. Whew.

Almost didn't have the energy to post. I'm on my netbook, in bed, and I hate posting like this because all of my photos are on my Mac. Grrr. I will add pics tomorrow. I sort of promise!


Okay, there were so many things that went on today, but nothing stands out for me as story-worthy. Jack and I were cracking up as we signed/spelled "shut up" to each other so that no one would know what we were saying, and also because he's not allowed to say that out loud and he found the loophole by signing. What a character he is.

Jack: Let's go over to the playground again!
me: But we're here to see Jonathan play football and we haven't even seen one play yet. Let's watch just one.
Jack: BORRRR-inggggg.... (eye roll)
me: What if you were playing and no one wanted to watch you?
Jack: They'd watch because I'd be awesome!
me: (after I stopped laughing) Oh reallllyyyy??
Jack: Since you're laughing does that mean we can go to the playground?
me: What does laughing have to do with it?
Jack: If I make you laugh, you usually give me what I want.
me: ??? (I'll have to keep an eye on that. He may be on to something!)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

What you learn when Daddy goes away

Dennis is gone for a few days. Work stuff. Bleh. Now I'm a single parent for 5 days and can't go to my morning boot camp class for another week. Wahhhh! Okay, I'm done.

me: Jack your manners at the table are so good! How come you don't have these manners when Daddy's home?
Jack: Wellll, he's usually a bit of a distraction to me.

Jack: I'm going to tell Daddy you went through that stop sign.
me: I didn't actually go through---
Jack: I'm telling anyway.
me: Now why does that sound like a good idea to you?
Jack: Because Daddy will get mad at you and then you'll have a little discussion about it and I'll go in the other room and do whatever I want.
me: Sigh.

Jack: You're the best mommy everrrrr! (as he swings on our neighbors swingset)
me: Thanks! I like hearing that!
Jack: Just kidddiinnnngggggg! My teacher is my favorite person. Hahahahahahaha!
me: Sigh.

Friday, September 24, 2010

It's a 2-Post night!

Sorta like a 3-dog night, but without the shitty cold weather.

Just a shout out to "Devon F" for being my 15th follower. I'm going to get excited over every 5th follower. Sorry followers 1-4 (who may or may not be related to me, ahem). But every 5 followers completes a freaken row of icons on the side of my blog! Symmetry, you are my middle name!

Anyways, thanks for following. If you have a blog link, do share!

Where to begin?

Do you sometimes run out of things to say? Nothing to blog about? I have the opposite problem. Can't sift through the plethora of material that comprises a single day of my life. We played rock, paper, scissors, water balloon, fire, (and gun) and then Jack added "lunchbox" in the middle, whenever he wanted a snack break. He would scream "rock paper scissors...LUNCHBOX, I need a break!" and then grab the bag of goldfish. I cracked up the first time that happened. He's a funny kid.

Tomorrow or Sunday, Jack and I will head up to the Big E, in MA. Annual pilgrimage. Tons of fun. Large vegetables on display. Farm animals doing tricks. And oh so much more! Like seriously, it's not a tractor pull kinda place. (Sorry Potato and Corn Festival, I'm not mocking you! We love you too!). Anyway, go check it out. You have about 2 weekends left, or so.

Jack: Are we going to the Big E again?
me: I think so. Do you want to?
Jack: Yessss! Can we go right now? (5:45 on a Friday night eh?)
me: Uh, no not right now. Maybe tomorrow?
Jack: Can we stay all day and all night til it's dark out like when I was little?
me: (smiling at that) You remember the first time I took you?
Jack: Yeah, I was two. We stayed until the lights came on.
me: We did have a lot of fun. You loved all of the rides and didn't want to get off of them.
Jack: They gave me lots of extra rides too, remember?
me: Now how the heck do you remember that. It was three years ago.
Jack: Three years isn't that much time Mom.

I guess he's right, if 3 years equals 60% of your total life, it probably is easy to remember that. Now don't go checking the freaken math on that one. You get my point.

A brief shout out to "Shit My Dad Says" for the pilot episode last night, and from whom my blog name is derived. I missed the show, but hope to catch it next time. William Shatner is priceless!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

My First Blogger Award!

And it's soooo versatile!

Get it? It's a Versatile Blogger Award. Get it!??  See? I'm wrapping text all around it like a real designer! I have to extend my thanks to my newest bloggy friend The Teething Mom: aka True Confessions of a Colicky and Fussy Newborn Mom. How cute is that?

Okay there are rules to accepting this award of course. Jack's motto first: "Rules are made to be broken", or what he actually says "The harder I try to be good the more I'm not good." Well said little man, well said. I told him to stop trying so hard and see what that gets him. He said "It will be very quiet then." LOL!

Soooo, here are the rules and regulations and terms and conditions. (Not that I'm currently working on a new website at work that is bogging me down with such trivial things as legal terms and credit card regulations and rules about purchasing and other things that make my head swim. I was an art major. Yikes.)

Rules of the Award:
1. Thanks to the person that gave you the award. A link back to them would also be appropriate.
2. Share 7 things about yourself. They mean 7 MORE things, because I share just about everything. (Even poop stories. Not mine of course. Not yet...)
3. Pass the award along to 15 bloggers that you think are amazing. I think that will be an easy one!
4. Contact the bloggers you chose and let them know about the award. Share the love! Totally a work in progress and I may not get to it until tomorrow. Thank you all for your understanding. (GASP! is THAT the TIME???)

7 things to share about myself:
After reading Teething Mom's 7 things, I realize we have freaky things in common (memorization of phone numbers, constantly being told we're too loud, swear too much, fancied being a real writer some day, but definitely not the red sauce thing, cuz I just ate that for dinner. Kay, on with the show!)

1. I will not ever share a milk product with anyone. I don't think dairy and saliva should ever mix. Unless it's your own mix and you eat very quickly and don't look into the melty bits and wash the bowl quickly. I do NOT dunk cookies in milk. I do NOT drink cereal bowl milk leftover vomit. I do not like sharing licks of ice cream cones. I will (in the name of motherly duty "clean up" Jack's ice cream cone, but that's only because my neurotic fear of drips trumps any gag reflex I have of licking his ice cream spit).

2. When I eat out at restaurants, I pretend I'm a restaurant critic and start "assessing" the service, softness of the bread, temperature of the food, how the plate looks, etc. I don't go so far as to have a fake note pad with me to complete the charade, but let me tell you, I'm judging everything on and around my plate!

3. I had my palm read once years ago and found out I would die when I'm 92. I totally believed it, so I think I'm all set for many more years of living. The palm reader said "No one will take your life from are too stubborn". Damn!

4. Nothing new to those who know me, but I can't kill anything. No bug. No spider. No creepy crawly. They are all "cute" to me and I even shoo fruit flies out the door rather than smacking at them.

5. When I speak to someone with an accent, I start to talk like them. Maybe I'm trying to make them feel better? Maybe I think they can understand me better? I don't know, but I consciously have to stop myself.

6. Ever since I was little, whenever a limo would pass our car on the highway I would think that the obviously rich and famous person inside would take one look at me and hastily pull our car over to the side of the road to let me know that they had just discovered the next big movie star or model or game show host. I really truly believed that. I still turn my head to show my good side when a limo know, just in case.

7. If I could pick my dream job, right now at this moment, I would have to steal Thomas Mangelsen's day job. Wildlife photographer extraordinaire!

15... 13 Bloggers I Love:
So What Are You Making for Dinner?
Cate on the Run
Diarrhea of the Keyboard
Home-style Hodgepodge
The Ramblings of an Ordinary Woman
Sweet Swallows
Food to Run For
Middle Ground Mom
Who Says That?
Life & Times of a Self-Proclaimed Saucy Bitch
Daddy Incidents
Mum in Flip Flops
Bug Girl

Tomorrow I'll tell Jack that my blog won a nice little friendly award. Let's see what he has to say about that! Here's my guess:

Jack: Tell me again what sh*t means?

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Weird Science

(Thanks for the follow Teething Mom!)

Jack loves to perform experiments. Hands down, one of his favorite things to do this year is to mix a bunch of weird ingredients together in the hopes of creating a perfect volcano or messy eruption of some sort. He finds rocks and seeds and has me put them in little jars of water to see what will grow and what will dissolve. I find remnants of our projects all over the house. A small vase with what appears to be a tiny white cotton ball floating in old scummy water. A half crushed spikey pine cone that we picked up in Central Park. Magnets with various metallic objects hanging off them. Sticks of all sizes, hidden in various places around the yard and house and back of my car, which will be used to a) start fire, b) make into walking sticks, c) study for bugs living under the bark, or d) all of the above.

This is really the year of "learning how everything works". The greatest challenge to a 5-year-old is to say "Hey, what do you think will happen if we mix THIS with THIS?" Challenge accepted!

Jack: Mom can you hand me that string?

me: This piece? It's yarn actually...

Jack: (dismissively) Yeah yeah. (hand motions me to give it over)

me: Whatcha making?

Jack: An experiment.

me: Of what?

Jack: It's complicated to explain.

me: Try me.

Jack: I'm trying to take this string and connect it to this cat toy and then hook it to the door to see if I can make something like a door lock.

me: I have to go out to the grill in a few minutes to get the food, so don't block the door.

Jack: Don't worry, I invented something else to open the door after I lock it.

me: (grabbing a plate and spatula to go collect the grilled meat) Coming through!

Jack: (untwines his experiment and lets me out) There you go!

me: (I collect the food, turn off the grill and head back to the door) Okay, I have a hot plate of food, can you open the door please?

Jack: (panics) Uh, hold on... (frantic untwining of various strings and ropes) It's stuck, just hold on...

me: How did you manage to do that in 30 seconds. Didn't I say I had to come right back in?

Jack: Yeah, but it's such a good experiment that I forgot how to unlock it.

me: Did you ruin Ed and Bella's string toy? They like to play with that you know.

Jack: Nahhhh, Ed said he's bored with it. I mean, I can tell he's bored with it. Heh heh.

me: Really? Now can you invent something that will get you to wash your hands and help set the table the first time I ask?

Jack: Oh, nothing I invent can help with that!

How right he is! Jack proceeded to push the BBQ pork around on his plate and put away two helpings of mac & cheese with brocolli. I can tell he's working on some sort of science experiment that will turn meat products into ice cream. Necessity is the mother of invention!

Monday, September 20, 2010


Well I was told that I should show more photos, and yes I've been slacking. Therefore I've updated the entire month of September and added photos! Aren't you proud? Now go ahead and take a look. The stories haven't changed, but perhaps the photos will add a certain "je ne sais quoi" to them. Go! You know you want to!

Make up your mind

Or, as my Dad said "I'll make it up for you." A poet, that one. In the last couple of days...wait, who am I kidding, it's been years...but in the last couple of days I've been noticing more of Jack's great waffling capability. He can't make up his mind sometimes and it's very VERY inconvenient for me. A few examples:

Jack: (from the back seat, as we're driving) Mom, I need a tissue!
me: (reaching for the tissue to hand back to him) Okay hold on, I ---
Jack: (cuts me off) Ohhh I'm sooo thirsty. I need that water bottle now!
me: What do you say?
Jack: Please can I have the water??? Where's the tissue!?
me: I'm trying to hand it to you, will you please take it?
Jack: Noooo, I don't want that right now, I need a drink!
me: (putting the tissue down and reaching for the water) Here you --
Jack: Wahhhh, my nose is running. Where is that tissue!
me: Really! Enough. Make up your mind please! Would you like this tissue or this water?
Jack: The water.
me: (reach back with the bottle) Okay, here you go.
Jack: (doesn't move) Ahhh forget it.
me: Grrr!

Next fun example:
me: Get your shoes on please.
Jack: (reaches for his sneakers) Maybe I don't want to wear these today.
me: Then grab the hiking shoes. Either way.
Jack: But the hiking shoes are for hiking and ... Oh I don't know!
me: Here just put these on. (I grab the sneakers)
Jack: No! The hiking shoes!
me: Sigh, really? Here they are. Please put them on.
Jack: Wait I think I really want the sneakers!
me: Last chance or we go out the door barefoot. Pick.
Jack: I think I want my crocs.
me: Sigh, here you go.
Jack: But I have socks ooonnnnnnnn! I can't wear these with socks!
me: Grrrrrrr!

And one more, in case you haven't picked up on the trend:
Jack: Can we go to the park?
me: Oh I thought you wanted to play with Dina next door?
Jack: I'd rather go to the park.
me: Okay, let's get ready to go.
Jack: I want to finish playing here first though. (He's building something with his blocks and marbles)
me: Well we should get going if you want to have time to play.
Jack: Let's wait until after.
me: There is no after. We go now, or forget it for today.
Jack: Alright, let's go.
me: We can stay here if you want. But it's a nice day out.
Jack: Yeah let's go. Should we stop at Dina's first?
me: Sigh, not if you want to go to the park. If you'd rather play with Dina, then we can go over and see if they're around.
Jack: Hold on, can I finish this first? Then we'll go over Dina's house.
me: Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I try to give choices. Really I do. But sometimes I can't take the waffling back and forth. Should I not give choices? Should I just say "Park! Now! Go!" or something to that effect?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

To beach or not to beach...?

We decided to beach. Again. We had gone to a lake yesterday (which reminded us all of the kettle ponds on the Cape), and we decided to keep the theme going by visiting the ocean. Okay, it was Long Island Sound, but still...

For the past 4 years, we've visited Cape Cod during the second week in September. Can you say sublime? We've had only stunning weather for 4 years in a row. This year, however, Jack started something we like to call "real school" in the public school system. Waahhhh, no vacations until Thanksgiving? WTF! Therefore I canceled our house rental for September, and instead we went in... when was it... Oh yeah...first week of June! I've already forgotten about that trip it was so long ago. We miss the Cape so much that we booked a house in October for a long weekend, to coincide with the Wellfleet Oysterfest. Woohoo! (okay, sorry but I also watched my first Simpson episode in like 3 years). Woohoo! It'll probably rain.

Today on the way to the beach, with sand toys, towels, snacks and sunblock in tow, Jack surprised me yet again.

Jack: I like your mom.
me: You like my mom??
Jack: Yeah.
me: Why are you saying that?
Jack: Owno...(his "I don't know" pronunciation)
me: What do you like?
Jack: She's nice
me: And why did you just think of that all of a sudden?
Jack: Owno...
me: How come you called her "your mom" and not "Grandma"
Jack: Because that's what you call her of course!

I wonder what goes through that little brain. My mother came to the Cape with us once, so maybe us going to the beach reminded him of her? Owno...

We had a great morning and got all nice and sandy, and gathered some fun shells, beach glass and a couple of crab claws. One pesky seagull went through our stuff every time we stepped away from the towels to walk down by the water. We would come back to find our bag of shells strewn all over the sand. What a dope. No food in there.

Jack told me that he loved me and that he had fun. That was worth everything in the world to me. We built a nice memory today. In Jack's school journal he had to write about "What makes me proud", and he put "Being with my Mom". Awwwww... :)

Saturday, September 18, 2010

What if I was water?

You'd never be thirsty? We were at the town beach/lake today, it was late in the afternoon. The gnats had hatched and filled the sky with their tiny bodies. There were millions. We took a short walk around the lake and tried to avoid eating them and getting them in our eyes. Jack spotted a small stream and the sign next to it said "Runs directly into Long Island Sound".

Jack: That's far away.
me: Yeah.
Jack: I think I'd like to be water.

He spoke and watched the tiny rivulets curl around the rocks and boulders under the small arched bridge.

Jack: I mean, you would never get hurt EVER if you crashed into a rock! (spoken like a boy fated to a lifetime of scrapes and bruises.) Water is ... nothing.
me: You'd be very wet.
Jack: But you wouldn't care because you wouldn't be anything.
me: Water is something. You can hold it.
Jack: But it doesn't think about anything. It just runs.
me: That's all it's supposed to do.
Jack: I don't want to be water then.

He tore off back to the beach for one final digfest. We created moats and roads and carried bucketfuls of water back to his creation. We spent some time at the playground as the sun sank behind the tall trees. Some of the trees had splotches of red and orange. Fall is announcing itself for sure.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Jack's stand-up routine

Last night I had to go back to Jack's school to meet with his first grade teacher, and all the other parents of children in his class. Therefore I was tired when I got home, and frankly forgot to post anything. Buhhh???? This is almost as much of a habit as my workouts have become, so it's hard to forget, and I miss it when I do.

I learned some funny things about Jack last night. Well, not that I learned anything really new, but just some surprising comments that helped me get a glimpse of my little guy as an independent person, well on his way to making a mark in this world. I can't wait to see what he becomes.

His teacher said that Jack is a comedian and she loves to hear his stories because he is "just SO funny". Of course I already new that. He cracks us up on a daily basis. One of the other moms said "Oh YOUR Jack is the one in Tae Kwon do. My daughter is always talking about him and I thought it was the OTHER Jack". She laughed. "I hope it was all good." I said. "Oh yes, he's very entertaining in class and he spends a lot of time talking to her." Nice to hear.

The bus driver also said "Jack's the nicest kid on the bus. He always asks how my day was." Huh? Heyyy not bad Jack! All those manners training sessions are paying off. On the other hand, Jack likes to talk (who'd he get THAT from?) and he likes to listen. Therefore he is probably genuinely interested in hearing about the bus driver's day. Very cute. She says that Jack starts waving to me when they're at the end of the street and doesn't stop until the bus does. :)  He's getting a good reputation as a sweetie. Ah if they only knew.

Jack: Knock Knock
me: Who's there?
Jack: Canoe.
me: Canoe who?
Jack: Canoe come out and play? (he cracks himself up)

Jack: What did the shovel say to the pile of dirt?
me: What?
Jack: I dig you! Bahahahahahaaaahhh!

Jack: Knock Knock
me: Who's there?
Jack: Impatient cow
me: Impatient c --

Jack: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
me: Why?
Jack: Because he had no BODY to go with.

Jack: Why do bees buzz?
me: Why?
Jack: Because they're terrible singers.

And so on and so forth. I hope he can hold on to that sense of humor long into his adult years. It's something that can really get you through tough times. If you can't laugh at a messed up situation, or yourself for that matter, what's the point?

So, a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer and a mop.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

It's finally here!

(They're both thinking..."How does he live like that??")

Well, not yet, exactly, but it's soooo close! Christmas! No just kidding. I just mean Fall, Autumn, ghosts, goblins, (my birthday), apple picking, pumpkin carving, leaves turning (my birthday), and other such wonderful end-of-year celebrations! I'm currently watching Bella snaggle-tooth my monitor. She's very happy tonight. Must have stolen Ed's dinner again. She likes to keep me company at night while I type.

Anyway, Jack's big dilemma is whether to keep wearing shorts with short sleeves, bring a jacket, or wear pants with long sleeves...because he canNOT ever wear shorts with long sleeves and vice versa. "It just doesn't GO MOM!" Sheesh. I'll see if he puts on the clothes I have ready for him tomorrow. Long pants and an army splotch T-shirt. That might distract him long enough to forget it has short sleeves. kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
(Whoops, Bella stretching onto the keyboard.)

me: Put on shorts then.
Jack: Okay! But you need to help me!
me: Why?
Jack: Because I'm tiiiiirrrrrred. (slumps to the floor)
me: Let's go, we're gonna miss the bus.
Jack: (changes with a pre-historic slowness. like watching moss grow) Ohhh I'm so hot.
me: There, all done. Let's get shoes on and out the door. (we head out to the driveway for the long walk down to meet the bus)
Jack: Heyyyy! It's COLD out here!
me: Toldya.
Jack: You said to put shorts on!
me: Like I'm going to argue. What happens when I tell you it's cold out and you should keep long pants on.
Jack: I don't listen.
me: what else
Jack: I maybe cry
me: what else
Jack: I put shorts on anyway...sigh...
me: Glad you know all this. And that's why I give you the answers that I do. Lots of practice.
Jack: Well I'm still cold!!!
me: (pulling out the surprise fleece) Ta-daaa! Mommy is always prepared!
Jack: But this is more for winter and it's really sunny and...
me: (interrupting) Are you cold or not? If so, put it on.
Jack: (muttering) But it doesn't go with my shorts...
me: What? Can't hear you...
Jack: Nothing. Thanks. (starts running down the driveway)
me: Hold on! (start jogging after him)
Jack: (at the busstop) Whew! Hey Mom???
me: Whaaattt???
Jack: Now I'm hot. (he starts cracking up as I chase him around our neighbors yard)

And that's just a glimpse of FIVE minutes of life with a 5-year old. And you wonder why I look like I'm 82. Man.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Bathtime news

Jack: Hey look the battery pack. What are you doing? Bloooogggggg?? What's his name? Nemo? (he looks around for a toy)

me: Just catching up on emails

Jack: Spic and clean boat. Look. (gurgle noise) Uh that was the boat not me. The boat's farting.

me: That's what happens when you put it under water.

Jack: Yeah. Whew.

me: Whatcha making? (he's pouring water from one vessel to another)

Jack: I don't know.

me: What does it look like you're making.

Jack: (eyes me warily) I. don't. know.

me: Any news from today at school?

Jack: No. Why? Are you ready for news?

me: Yep. Ready and waiting.

Jack: (talking to his speed boat under his breath) News! News! News! What are you typing. Are you typing my news? Whaaaa. Whaaaa. Whaaaa! (making alarm noises)

me: What was the alarm for?

Jack: It's just a horn. Just to show you. Eh... I had a good day. Are you typing that? I did lots of math and Fundations (reading). I like going home the best part of the day. Lunch is my favorite part of the day. Because we go in the class and line up for recess. I like having a snack when I come home. No don't look at me just keep typing what I'm saying.

me: I told you I was checking email.

Jack: But I know you're typing your blog.

me: (haha) Too smart for your own good aren't you.

Jack: Yep. Fwooooossshsssshhhhhhhh.... (flying noises. his boat grew wings and cruises over the bathtub)

Monday, September 13, 2010

Busy, but in a good way

All mom's have this kind of day. Mine was just peppered with all of the unique items that make my life work. Right now that is. We'll see how long I can hold it together.

Wake up, get me and Jack ready, get him on the bus, get me to work, then get Jack off the bus (Ha, I just wanted to say jack off again. I know. I'm 12.), then home for snack, change of clothes and off to tae kwon do, then me back to work, then pick Jack up from class, go home for dinner, feed the cats and us, my turn to change, then off to my nighttime bootcamp class because Dennis is away and I have no one to watch Jack at 5:30 in the morning...but I digress. Or am I done? Oh yeah I'm done. We came home and Jack went directly to bed. I did dishes, laundry, ate pie, and here I am. Are you having fun yet? Because I know I ammmmm!

Jack: I can't believe you're coming to watch me at MY class, and then I have to go watch you at YOUR stupid class sorry. (he says it all in one breath so the sorry will cancel the stupid I guess?)

me: It's a busy day, so we have to stay on track. You can do your reading at my class, and have a snack, and pack a few toys just in case.

Jack: Don't I get to workout too?

me: Nah, it's a class full of women so there's no room.

Jack: Always the women...

me: What does that mean?

Jack: I dunno. (which he says like all 5 year olds "Ow no". There's no enunciation!)

Later at class:
me: I packed some snacks and they're in the front pocket of your backpack.

Jack: Yeah, I unpacked those and packed what I wanted. (100-calorie pack of Oreos)

me: You are something else Jack.

Jack: What do you mean? What else can I be??

And then I did my hour long class, sweated like a mother, cuz I am one. haha. Jack was perfectly well behaved. Yes you read that right. He drew pictures. Played with his Etch-A-Sketch, found a toy gun hidden in a bench, flew his planes, and took out his tools and proceeded to try and "fix" the kettle bells. It was actually great. And that's why I love him. :)

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Fire...Water Balloon? Yep.
(oh and that's not Wesley, btw)

Jack: I made up a great new game with Wesley. Wanna hear it?
me: Of course I do. What's it called?
Jack: Wellll, it's like the rock, paper, scissors game but we added in Fire and Water Balloon.
me: Cool! How do you play?
Jack: (lots of wild hand gestures) Okay, so like water balloon puts out fire, but then fire can burn paper, and scissors can POP water balloon, and then rock can also smash water balloon, and then the usual paper wraps rock and rock smashes scissors and scissors cuts paper, the usual stuff still happens.
me: You know, that's pretty good. I'm impressed! You guys are really thinking...
Jack: And you know how you say "shoot" at the end before you pick?
me: Yeah.
Jack: If you make a gun like this, and then point it at the other person, you always win. Because guns kill everything.
me: Sigh...

And so on and so forth. Every day it's something new. That little story happened right after dinner. Jack helped me make a stir fry. He likes being the sous chef. This next story took place after breakfast (French toast), but I thought it was funny and didn't want to forget it!

Jack: Mom, check out this invention. It's a jet fuselage fuse holder.
me: Okaayyyy? What's it do?
Jack: (ignores me and goes at his invention) Now Ready! Launch! (something goes flying across the room)
me: (starting to clean the griddle) What was that thing?
Jack: It's the rocket. I can launch anything. Do you want to play?
me: Let me finish up here. Check this out...(I start folding our new griddle, which I LOVE actually)...Look how the legs fold up and how it fits...
Jack: Mom, MOM! I don't need to learn your cooking ways...just your playing ways.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I Spy Domino's

Pizza. Not the toy. Well, actually both. Jack, his Uncle John and I passed a Domino's pizza place on the way to the farm to go apple picking today. What an amazing September day. I love this month for so many reasons. Jack and I met up with my brother, sister, brother-in-law, nephew, niece, mom, mom's husband and my 2nd cousin. Whew! Dennis is in Chicago for the week. Bummer!

Jack: Heyyyy Dominos! That's funny!
me: Huh?
Jack: What if that was what delivered your food?
John: That is a food place you know. Pizza?
Jack: I know. What I'm saying is, what if actual dominoes delivered your food to your door! And then they all started to fall down in a line and your pizza flew up in the air and landed in your hands.
me: Now that's an idea. Dominoes that deliver Domino's! You may be on to something.
Jack: Yeah, that is pretty funny.
me: It's like on "I Spy" where the domino general comes out and marches around with his moustache, right?
Jack: No, it's not like that at all.
me: Sigh.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I'm not scared of the dark!

Jack: Black used to be my favorite color. That's until I knew that darkness was black. I don't want that for my favorite!
me: Are you scared of the dark?
Jack: No. It's just that...I really don't like to BE in the dark (hand gestures) when it's all...dark.
me: Yeah I know what you mean. How come you told the babysitter to close the windows before you went to bed?
Jack: Oh, that was just because it felt safer that way.
me: But she was down here and you were upstairs. Your windows were closed.
Jack: That way I didn't have to go and worry about it for a hundred years.
me: What made you worry about an open window?
Jack: Well, I know it's not real...but...Gavin told me about this chainsaw guy that lives in the woods, and he has chainsaw hands and he only comes out at night. That's not real is it? (his eyes begged me to agree with him.)
me: What do you think? Have you ever seen anyone with chainsaw hands?
Jack: No.
me: I can tell you right now that the story isn't true.
Jack: Good!
me: What if you made up a story right now about a big furry alien that landed in our front yard and then you told Gavin about it. Would he believe it?
Jack: Probably.
me: But is it really true?
Jack: Of course not, we just made it up of course!
me: That's exactly what happened to Gavin's story.
Jack: He made it up?
me: Yep. Or someone else told it to him to scare him.
Jack: Oohhhh, no sense in worrying about that anymore.
me: You have better things to worry about right?
Jack: Yeah. big furry aliens really land in our front yard?
me: (oops) Uh, no, we made that up.
Jack: Oh yeah, heh heh.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Sugar, and the magic that it produces

Child + Sugar + Tired = Nutso. Kind of the way that Me + Gravity + Objects = Funny. But the sugar equation can be prevented. Just avoid sugar, right? What kind of childhood would that be? I lived on sugar! Sugar cereals by the giant bowlful, hostess cakes in every shape and size, High Fructose Corn Syrup in everything that I touched (actually not sure when they started using that...must be from the glorious 80's...) And I turned out fine, right? Except for the most ginormous sweet tooth ever...

Because of my uncontrolled upbringing with sugar, I vowed that my child would not be exposed to an over-abundance of sweets until we thought it (would be impossible to avoid) was appropriate. Therefore Jack still to this day hasn't tried soda. Yep, we're those parents. He has sweets occasionally, limited to ice cream, my homemade baked goods, (please refer to the first part of this paragraph), Easter Basket and Christmas stocking treats, Halloween (limited) and a special treat once in awhile. Therefore, Jack is the type of child that will stop eating a chocolate cookie...midway!...and say "Ah, man I'm full" and push it away. How DARE he. But he dare.

This is why I find it hysterical to see what a little bit of sugar will do to this kid. You can actually see it process through his body. The initial YUM, then the flushed blotches on his cheeks, the shiney glazed eyes, and then...well... all hell breaks loose. Jack had a half of an ice cream cone this past Saturday. Small. Soft serve. We were with his Uncle John.

me: (because I panic when I see kids eating ice cream cones on a hot day) Jack you gotta lick AROUND it. Stop pushing the ice cream around and lick it! GAHHH. (look away in disgust)
Jack: I'm full Mommy, I... (and then the sugar rush hits) HAVE TO RUN AROUND THIS PARKING LOT! (and he takes off)
me: Jack get back here and stay near us please. Cars are going by and it...
John: Where did he go?
Jack: (jumping out from the side of the building) SNEAK ATTACK! (he lunges at us) SNEAK ATTACK!
John: Wow that was fast. (Jack continued to run in circles)
me: Yeah, it's the sugar.
Jack: (running back and forth like a caged animal) SNEAK ATTACK!
John: Why does he keep saying that?
me: Hey Jack, what's with the sneak attack?
Jack: What's with the sneak attack? (oh a mimic huh?)
me: Okay, just stay over here.
Jack: Okay, just stay over here.
me: Sigh.
Jack: (jumps on John) SNEAK ATTACK!
John: Ha ha, what the heck is with you? What are you doing?
me: NO hitting, Jack!
Jack: But why?

Within 5 minutes the sugar rush faded, he grabbed Stripey, the thumb went in and his eyes glazed over. So when I say "No, Jack's okay drinking water" please believe me that he doesn't need juice or chocolate milk. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble and a few bruises!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

The nose always knows

One of Jack's strongest senses is his sense of smell. (If memory was a sense, that would win of course.) He can remember smells from years ago and pinpoint the exact location and situation that surrounded it. I have that same ability, and for me, smelling a certain cleaning product can bring me right back to my mother's kitchen, circa 1970, before I had any siblings! Oh the bliss!

Jack: (as I am applying sunscreen to his face) Sniiifffffffff! Ah, that reminds me of Indian Ledge park from last summer.
me: (joking) It was a Tuesday, right?
Jack: How did you know??
me: Sigh.

Jack: Today in Tae kwon do, my master's jacket smelled just like the mall.
me: Why do you say that?
Jack: He probably went shopping before class?

Jack: (upon entering my new Subaru) Ahhh, this smells just like your old car.
me: The one I just traded in?
Jack: No, the other Subaru you had.
me: Jack, you were one and a half when I got that car.
Jack: So? It still smells the same.

Even when he was 3, Jack couldn't wait to go back to the Cape house on vacation, because he loved the smell. It is a good smell, I'll give him that. Maybe having a good memory goes hand in hand with having a good smell memory? Is that the correct term? Smemory? No, I'm not trying to coin a new term like "Smize". I wouldn't dare!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Lunchtime in first grade

Jack: Mom, I got the most amount of food today...ever!
me: Are you talking about lunch or what?
Jack: Yeah! I got sausages...I got french toast...I got pears and two cookies of course!
me: What do you mean TWO cookies?
Jack: Ha ha, it's only one pack but it has two in it. You saaaaiiiiddd to only get one pack. So I found the pack that had the most in it.
me: Uh huh, pretty clever.
Jack: And, it does NOT have tree nuts in it (winning smile and innocent eyes seal the deal)
me: As long as you eat your vegetables you can get the cookies, remember?
Jack: But they didn't serve vegetables for lunch. It was breakfast! Remember?
me: What about the grape tomatoes I put in your lunch bag for snack time?
Jack: Oh, I popped those. They were gross.
me: (gotta love the honesty) Please don't pop your food. Bring it home if you don't like it. Someone will eat it.

Later that night...

Dennis: And where did those nasty tomatoes come from?
me: Huh? What are you talking about?
Dennis: The tomatoes that you left for me on the counter? Where did you get them?
me: The farm.
Dennis: Well yeah, those made me sick so don't pack them again.
me: Sigh. I liked them...

So much for organic farm box produce!

Daddy Guest Post #2

Why not make it a monthly thing? Once again, I'm done in by this weekend...not a lot of sleep, lots of hard work around the house, and general end of summer blues. I'm going to go finish up the "ok" book "By the Time You Read This". A couple of good cries...sort of light and fluffy around the edges, but I've read worse. But enough about me. Have fun with a story from Dennis.

Jack and I went to take in the last bit of summer at the town pool today since it is the last day of the season before they close the pool. It was a warm day but not the hot ones we have been used to all summer. As we went to get into the pool the breeze was hinting that fall was just around the corner and the water wasn't all that warm. Jack took extra time to get in and so did I. Last day of the summer I said to Jack. Jack started to correct me because he knows the last day of summer isn't for a few weeks. I said to Jack that I mean that they are closing the pool after today and we won't be able to swim in here until next year. Jack said "yeah I know, we might as well make the best of it". Jack and I swam for an hour but it was kind of cold in the pool and you could tell we were both thinking its a good thing this is the last day.

After one of the breaks where they force all of the kids to get out of the pool. Jack said "I don't want to go back in, I just want to lay here in the sun and take nap." "O.K. I said, but you know we won't be able to go into the pool after today until next year." Jack seemed weary but responded as he stood up "Well lets go back in then". It seemed like a response driven by obligation but as soon as he turned and saw all the kids in the pool he went right in as I sat on the side of the pool. Jack made friends with a group of kids that were all ages. He enjoyed playing with them, chasing them all around the pool. All the kids seemed to be breaking the rules around the pool, running, diving, toys in the pool. You could tell they didn't care if they got in trouble because it was the last day of the season. At the same time you realized the kids were playing not as if it were the last day of the season but as if they had a whole summer ahead of them.

When it was time to go, I told Jack it was getting late and we should go home and start thinking about what we should do for dinner. I offered Jack a chance to stay and go in one last time....Jack said "No, I'm good. Let's go home". Jack looked exhausted and you could tell he wasn't worried about losing a season, even one as warm and fun as summer. I'm sure he's looking forward to the fall with apple picking and halloween and playing in the leaves....although maybe not all the "hard work" of first grade....

(btw, Daddy didn't hit "publish" last night and went to bed instead. Sigh. So this is last night's post. Hope you enjoyed.)

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Hellooooo Spungfield!

That's what Dennis fondly calls my hometown of Springfield. Can you tell he loves it? I can!

Disclaimer: Any typos, grammatical errors, derailing storylines and just plain madness are purely the result of a very long night spent in a bachelor's new house along with 3 children under 9, two of which have life threatening nut allergies, plus two of my younger siblings, one brother-in-law and drop ins from my divorced strategically planned times so that they wouldn't cross paths, as well as a sleepless night with one child who became noticeably more allergic to said house as the night went on and proceeded to cough from the hours of midnight to 6:18. At 5-minute intervals. I know this because I was awakened at each cough and checked the clock.

Or, to sum it up even better: DAMN I be tired.

At one point today I had my nephew and Jack in the backseat of my car as we drove either to or from the park or the restaurant we visited for lunch. What follows is a snippet of their conversation. You'll notice a theme from some of my other posts. Jack is on the same topic that has obviously been bothering him for some time.

Jack: Hey Joey, (lowers his voice) what if we're dreaming right now.
Joey: (doesn't miss a beat) I know! What if my mom doesn't have two kids and SHE'S dreaming too!
Jack: Yeah! That would be weird. Then you don't exist.
Joey: (thinks about this) Well she's probably not dreaming then because I'm right here.
Jack: But what if you're only right here in HER dream!
Joey: Like if she wanted kids and then dreamed about them?
Jack: Yeahhh! Woah... (and in typical non-sequitur fashion) You know, Walmart is really BAD!
Joey: It is? How come?
Jack: Because they have bad people that will actually steal the money from your school!
Joey: Really?
Jack: Yes! They get people to come in and get the money that would be for your school and then they don't give it to you. You better check, because your school might be one of the ones that they got.
Joey: Ummm, but how exactly do they do that?
Jack: Oh that's not important. They just do. They take people against their will and do that kind of stuff.

They both sit and ponder that for awhile. Jack's on to something about Walmart, but he hasn't been able to put it into concise words yet. :) Check out the DVD. You'll be glad you did!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Boy's got moves

And I don't mean Tae Kwon Do!

This morning I double checked Jack's backpack and found a small folded up piece of paper in one of the front pockets. Hmmmm. Now what would he be putting in there? I unfolded it... stopped, stunned, then laughed out loud so hard that the cats went scrambling for cover!

Here's what it said (in childish scrawl) "Lea 203-221-1235" or some phone number to that effect.

me: Hey Jack! What is this paper all about?
Jack: Oh, that's just Lea's phone number.
me: Lea who?
Jack: Lea across the street? Remember?
me: Really? I didn't think you ever talked to her. When did she give you her phone number?
Jack: Today on the bus. I sat with her.
me: What about Logan? I thought you sat with him?
Jack: Not today.
me: What are you gonna do with Lea's phone number?
Jack: (looking like I have 3 heads) Uh, call her sometime? (he sauntered out of the room)

I put the note in my pocket and after all the kids got on the bus I pulled Lea's mom aside.

me: Check this out.
Mom: (blank look for a second) What the...?
me: Yep. Jack got Lea's number.
Mom: She did not say one word about that to me. That' too funny!
me: I know! I was like what did he do...ask for the number or did she offer it up? Ha ha ha!
Mom: The kid already has some moves, at what...5?
me: Yeah. Sigh.

Dennis laughed and said, oh boy, wait til he hits high school. I can't even imagine!

And on a quick side note, at dinner tonight, we had this little exchange:

Jack: Mom, when you and Dad are too old to live here anymore...
me: (!!) Yeahhhh...???
Jack: Can you give this house to me?
me: Then where would we live?
Jack: (dismissively) Oh, wherever...
me: But this is our house too. Can we stay here?
Jack: Ok, but I have to own the house.

Oh for Pete's sake, do I need this already? Let me hit 42 first Jack, okay? Before you start selling me down the river. Or is it up the river? Sheesh.

Thursday, September 2, 2010


First off, could it BE any hotter? Really. We went in the cellar after school to play and cool off. It was literally 30 degrees cooler down there than in our own kitchen...with central air! I am so done with heat, can you tell?

We were hanging out with our neighbors and Jack was just playing around, when all of a sudden, he comes over to me and starts whispering.

Jack: Mom...what if this is all a dream?
me: What if what is a dream?
Jack: All this... (he waves his hand around)
me: The basement? Or...
Jack: Nooo, I mean, what if...we're really asleep right now and this is all a dream. How would we wake up!
me: I can pretty much guarantee that you're awake.
Jack: But how!? You don't really know!
me: I think I do, but that's an interesting thought.
Jack: What if you never wake up?
me: Try this. Next time you're dreaming in your bed, try and ask yourself if that is really a dream. You won't be able to do it.
Jack: You don't know that.
me: You're right, but...
Jack: No buts! Okay I guess I'm awake because I have to pee. (he runs upstairs)

Jack: Okay! (finished his business and donned a headset and microphone. more whispering to me.) Mom, pretend I'm like 26 and you sent me off to airplane pilot school and now I'm a pilot.
me: Sounds good.

I can now see that Jack's thoughts bounce around as much as his little body does. It never stops for a minute anymore, until he finally sleeps. But wait, what if I'm asleep right now?? Cool! That means the ice cream I'm about to eat will have zero calories!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

What a difference a day makes

Jack: (in a fit on the floor) But I'm tiiiirrrreeeeddddddddd! I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. I wanna sleeeeepppppp! (I let him cry it out on my lap and he did eventually calm down)

Jack: (while eating a bowl of cereal) First grade is SO cool! It's just great!
me: Wow, that's a change.
Jack: Whaddya mean, it was always cool!
me: Sigh

Jack: I do NOT want to go to more Taekwondo!!! It's too hot!!!
me: (thinking we would not be signing up for more classes after the trial period) Okaaayyy, whatever you want to do is fine.

Jack: Can we sign up for Tawdwondo for next month? I beat the master at one, two three! I was the fastest!!!
me: You were super fast, and you did a great job. I'm glad you had fun.
Jack: I always have fun here!
me: Hmmmmm....?

Jack: And I'm not doing stupid 20 minutes of reading every night either! ... sorry...
me: I'm so glad you said that because it was just about to get very interesting in here...
Jack: Yeah I know. Do I have to read?
me: But you love to read.
Jack: Only when someone doesn't make me read.
me: I can understand that.

me: You have to take a bath, eat dinner, do your 20 minutes of reading, and then if you have excellent behavior for all of those things, you can use the computer for a bit. I'm not going to warn you. You either behave or you don't and suffer the consequences.
Jack: Okay.
me: Huh?

So, you see, transition is not one of Jack's favorite things. We still have to give 5 minute warnings when we need him to stop one activity and move on to something else. He gets so engrossed in what he's doing that if you ask him to stop cold he freaks out a bit. Therefore the transition to something huge like first grade really took a toll on him. I forgave a lot yesterday. Even when he clenched both of my wrists so hard that he left marks. He actually did a lot better than I expected and that alone made me happy.

Can't wait to see what high school will do to him...