Jack saw a picture of the young Harry Potter cast, in robes, wielding wands...
Jack: WHO. IS. THAT? (pointing at Hermione)
me: Those guys are from the Harry Potter movies. You know that right? She's Hermione.
Jack: Her, what?
me: No, Hermione is her whole first name.
Jack: Is she real?
me: Ha ha, yeah she's real. What do you mean? Well, she's not a real wizard, that's just a character in a movie.
Jack: But SHE's real?
me: Well, her real name is Emma. She just plays Hermione in the movie. (He looks mildly confused.) So, like if you were in a play about a Bison, and you dressed up in fur, people would say "Who's playing that Bison?" and then they'd say "OH that's Jack." So you are the bison and you're Jack. She's Hermione and she's also Emma.
Jack: Ohhhhh! Is she a star?
me: You mean movie star? Yeah. She's pretty famous.
Jack: Well, the word "star" doesn't impress me at all. (he waves his hand dismissively)
me: (shaking my head) Okay, I don't know where you got that phrase, but it's pretty funny.
Jack: Is she married?
Jack: I could marry her.
me: I guess you could if you met her.
Jack: Did you ever meet her?
me: No. But Megan at work did.
Jack: She did? Wow. (pause) Megan's a nice name.
me: (Oh boy...)
Anyone else out there have a 5-year-old with raging hormones? It gets worse, right? Like, a LOT worse... Sigh...