Subway

Jack and I stopped at a Subway on the way home from our road trip to Massachusetts today.

Jack: ooh ooohhh I want a meatball sub (hops up and down in place)
me: Okay, we'll take one kids meal with a meatball---
kid behind counter: Uh, sorry, but we only serve ham, turkey or roast beef with the kids meals.
Jack: Yeah yeah, I'll take the roast beast (waving his hand dismissively)
me: Okayy, one kids meal with Roast Beef and----
girl behind the counter: Oh, we also serve Tuna on the kids sandwiches.
me: Sigh.
Jack: Yes yes I want the tuna!!! Yummmm. And it's not an animal!
me: (not even going there). Then I guess we'll have the Tuna kids meal, with --- what did you want on it Jack?
Jack: Everything! (walks away)
me: Uh, no, he'll have lettuce, tomato, cheese, and---
Jack: (yelling from over where the chips are) I want banana peppers. Lots of em!
me: ...and banana peppers
Jack: (walks back over to me holding 3 bags of opened chips). I tried these, but they were too spicy, so I tried THESE and they were too plain, so then I just got the regular Sun Chips.
me: Jack, it's not a chip buffet. You can't just open them all and sample them. What are you going to do with 3 open bags of chips?
Jack: I don't know. You'll pay for them?
me: How does that help me? I don't want 3 bags of chips?
Jack: Let's give them to Uncle John. He eats anything.

(Later, while we were eating)

Jack: (takes a bite of sandwich) Mmmmmmm! Chomp chomp. Heyyy where's the tomato??? (takes another bite and the entire tomato slice comes out and whaps him in the chin). What the...?!!! Mommy!!! My sandwich just slapped me in the face!!!!